Role of Parents in helping young people to negotiate the period of adolescence - Essay Example

? Role of Parents in helping young people to negotiate the period of adolescence Adolescence is perhaps one of the most sensitive periods in the lifeof any individual when the rivalries of mind reach the highest pinnacle. There are different ways in which psychologists interpret this period or the changes in attributes that affect the life of a person and those in the surroundings than others. The changes are often complex as there is a feeling of enthusiasm on the one hand on experiencing the feeling of stepping into a new world, which is a precursor to adulthood and the challenges that are posed by the social milieu often bring about behavioral changes that affects the family to a great extent (Coleman, 2011, p. 2). It is here that the role of parents is to be defined as they should ideally play an extremely supportive role during this period. There are several issues that can be raised at this juncture. For instance, the kind of family in which the child is being brought up plays an important role. Although, there are several arguments regarding the number of parents supervising a child and it is recommended that children should be brought up by both parents, there is no dearth of single parents in our society (Golombok, 2000, p.3). It has been observed that children from divorced families are more likely to be aggressive and insolent during their adolescent years. A considerable amount of research has been conducted regarding the behavioral practice of adolescents and theories of experts help in unraveling the changes that occur during this stage. The changes that are remarkable during the stage of transition or adolescence include self-concept or a greater awareness of an individual about himself/herself when compared with others. Similarly, the sexual changes or romantic developments also influence the development of an adolescent individual and the effects can be both positive and negative. Along with this, here is a strong urge of independence during this stage particularly to move away from parental control, which justifies the definition of adolescence as stated by Rousseau. Additionally, the cognitive transition or the change in thinking is quite prevalent in adolescents for the first time when compared with the psychology of childhood. Thus, adolescents engage in thinking about abstract matter and start interpreting life in a different manner and begin withdrawing themselves from social life to a great extent. The hormonal changes that take place inside the body bring about individualism and the behavioral changes are prominent in every adolescent. The parents of these children must analyze and understand the nuances of this stage and help their children cope with the gradations of this stage. The socio-economic status of children plays an important role in this regard. For instance, the children belonging to the lower strata of the society portray different behavioral patterns when compared with the children of affluent families. Additionally, they do not have access to similar parental guidance and this affects the upbringing of adolescents. Moreover, gender and ethnic traits, background and association also influence the transition period. The positive and negative aspects in relation with these characteristics can be molded by appropriate guidance from parents. In other words, the role of parents should vary according to the circumstances in which the transition takes place. Structure of the Family However, it is suggested that parents who are more in conflict with each other should not stay together for the sake of their children and their upbringing. Additionally, the financial hassles that accompany such relationships may also affect the psychology of a child. There are marked differences in the behavior of children primarily due to different circumstances in which they are brought up and the associated factors. As a matter of fact, a time comes when these changes in behavioral patterns start affecting the entire family in the form of unruly tantrums and rebellious disruptions. Such changes may not necessarily occur in those children belonging to single parents, but otherwise also. For single mothers, it is not only the children who are affected by a ruining relationship, but the mother, as well. During the initial period, a mother, who is the legal guardian of the child, suffers from a sense of despair and hopelessness while trying to make her ends meet. In short, the mother is herself in a poor state of mind or emotion and unable to provide the necessary support that is likely to act as a cushion for adolescents who are subject to similar feelings (Golombok, 2000, p.7). Adolescence and Theories of Raising Children Adolescence is essentially a period of greatest disorder and tumult owing to the changes in hormones and it is significantly considered as a transition in an individual from a child to an adult. The intensity of changes varies in each individual and often it takes the form of severe stress that is difficult to tackle in the absence of adequate support from parents or siblings. Therefore, it is clear whether a single parent or otherwise, it is extremely important to have a sound state of mind in order to help an individual from childhood until the attainment of adolescence. There are two different theories of childbearing that suggest that children should be subject to harsh punishment in order to make them obedient and the contradictory point of view that emphasizes the downside of physical punishment stating it to be extremely harmful for children who are never born with evil attributes (Slater & Bremner, 2003, p. 6). The contradictions or opposed views present in this theory often makes it confusing for parents to understand the ways that should be adopted by them for treating their children and avoid faulty upbringing that is termed as a major cause of irritable behavior during adolescence. Role of Parents A majority of parents take decisions based on assumptions and surmises or what they think is best for their children, which may not work in specific cases. As soon as a child attains adolescence, the physical changes become apparent and make a girl or a boy feel clumsy. The human development is one of the most intriguing aspects and the instability that is observed during adolescence is largely due to these changes in the first place. When it comes to the role of parents, they should discuss the bodily changes as well as behavioral strategies with their offspring so that they are better prepared to face them with courage and prevent the mayhem of this period to a great extent (Sudbery, 2010, p.5). There are different phases through which every individual has to undergo in life and adolescence is only one of them. However, the society also plays a great role in managing the youth and the exposure that is often seen during this time is entirely different when compared to that of childhood. Although, a child tends to learn and imbibe the surroundings, the strain of unrest or confusion is not present during childhood. Theories of Adolescence: What do they say? According to the theory of Erikson on adolescence, which is also termed as psychosocial, he has emphasized that the problems of adolescents hardly match with that of their parents. For instance, a parent struggling with retirement issues have little in common with his/her adolescent child and the problems emerge from that point. In short, adolescence is one of the psychosocial stages in the life of an individual, which has been reiterated in the previous paragraph (Shaffer. and Katherine, 2010, p.45). While it can be said that Erikson’s Theory is relevant, Piaget’s Theory of Cognitive Development is contemporary, which is based on several postulates. For instance, the transition from childhood to adolescence is extraordinary as a change in the ability of thinking is noted at first, which is termed as ‘formal operations’ by Piaget. At the same time, he has emphasized that the changes that occur in adolescence are affected by various factors such as socio-economic status, state of mind both physical and emotional, educational background and culture of the family to mention only a few. Thus, if parents are not satisfied with the development of their children from the time of adolescence, they must discuss those issues with the teachers, counselors, school administration and psychologists for favorable solutions. The focal model of adolescence of JC Coleman states that an adolescent adapts to the change or transition by focusing on one issue at a time. For instance, a relationship issue may occupy importance at one stage whereas there may other issues at a later stage. This model is pertinent because it deals with the psychological aspects of the transition from childhood to adolescence and does not talk about individual circumstances whether socio-economic or others. Parenting and its Different Aspects The term parenting is a multi-directional aspect that is barely realized by parents. In other words, most parents are devoid of appropriate knowledge about adolescent behavior and believe in unnatural intervention and supervision on the activities of their children who have stepped into adolescence. This leads to more commotion than the desire of a parent to reduce it as part of good upbringing (Kerr, Stattin, Engels, 2008, P.3). Ideally, the parents should try to behave with their children in such a manner that allow the adolescents to disclose their behavior and the reasons for the same. In other words, the circumstances must be smooth enough for open discussions, which is a positive step as far as parental role is concerned in managing their adolescent children. The behavior of adolescent children should not be controlled incessantly or preventing them from discussing the issues that are related to sex, love and romantic developments or inquisitive approach of a male child towards a female, which are common attributes of this age. For instance, a child may have lots of inhibitions about discussing all these issues with those parents who are in conflict or have pressing issues in relationships. Under such circumstances, the children may have to undergo counseling regularly about the issues that appear troubling to them. In several cases, such children take to drugs or other substances for staying away from the hassles that are present in the house. What do Psychologists do? As far as the opinion of psychologists is concerned, they intend to spend time with each member of the family in order to understand their concerns separately and their perspectives. Thus, if your child seems to behave in a different manner than other children of the same age, you have to realize that there are problems that should be identified and narrated to a doctor or a counselor. At the same time, the problems have to be segregated from the general behavioral patterns of adolescence. For instance, many people prefer to keep an uncanny silence during this age and seldom do they disclose their concerns. This pattern is usually seen in girls rather than in people of opposite gender. While these are normal instances, there are several incidents of sexual horror and behavior that keeps these girls at bay. As a matter of fact, the primary intention of taking these girls to the psychologists is to allow them to speak their minds without any kind of societal or parental pressure. The sensitivity and the line of thinking that affects the minds of adolescents must be dealt with equal concern as it is done in several other cases (Foa, Andrews, 2006, pp.1-2). In several regions or nations of the world particularly in Asia, extreme physical cruelties are exerted upon the young adolescent girls leading to incidents of rebellion at a later stage. Identifying the Problem Areas in Adolescents An uncanny behavior is certainly followed by a reason and cognitive psychology suggests that each individual has his/her own perceptions, memory, attention and behavior and thinking that makes the understanding of incidents different (Gross R., 2010, p.3). The role of parents become defined only when they are able to show the correct way to their adolescent children instead of showing firmness towards the violent tendencies that often erupt at this age. It has been observed by doctors and social workers who have been dealing with the issues of adolescents is that the individuals either get too much of attention or nothing at all creating a huge imbalance in most cases. Instead of following theoretical principles, the parents should try to express a cooperative attitude towards their children and try to extract what lies at the bottom of their heart instead of trying to find vacant reasons or showing firmness, which may affect an individual in more than one ways. From the previous times until the modern age, the psychology of adolescents has changed to a great extent. Nowadays, teachers also play an important role in shaping the mind of an individual. The most prominent tendency that is observed among adolescents is to emulate the trends that are prevailing in a society at a particular point of time. It may be that such a trend may no longer remain in full force and this is the root from which several causes of depression and anxiety may arise in individual of this age. Societal Changes: Moving with the Flow The structural changes that have occurred in the society until now also affect the psychology of the adolescents. Thus, the natural delight and the spontaneity that used to come along with the arrival of this age has now taken the form of tantrums and idiosyncrasies that parents find difficult to tackle. While it is difficult to find solutions to specific problems, there are ways to deal with them. Thus, the counselors, psychotherapists, teachers and social workers must try to adapt themselves with the changing rules of the society and act as reformists. At the same time, parents must also stimulate their senses and learn to become conversant with different ways in which adolescents should be helped or shown the way so that they are moved away from the proneness of making mistakes. Human beings are bound to change during various stages of their lives. These changes are physical and emotional in nature or one propelled by another. It is not only the psychologists who are capable of designing theories about people and their lives. In fact, we all need to understand each other regularly in order to interact with people of different strata of the society. For instance, parents need to understand the psychology of their children and keep them in mind while dealing with them and vice versa (Beckett & Taylor, 2010, pp.4-5). Why is the role of Parents considered Important? The role of parents become particularly important in shaping the lives of adolescent children because they are the ones to directly confront them in every sphere of their lives although teachers may take a similar position in such situations here an adolescent becomes abusive or resorts to certain behavioral tendencies that were not inherent but emerged at a later point of time owing to certain factors or simply related to the change in the body and mind. The most important thing is to teach the adolescents to have more acceptance towards their bodily changes particularly in girls; the hormonal changes that occur at this age make them withdrawn and clumsy to a great extent. The boys are more sensitive towards these changes although they will seldom express their thinking or psychology in any way. Additionally, there are several other changes that are related to the nervous system, heart, brain, which affects the body language and thinking of an individual. The present age in which social networking sites have become an important aspect of one’s life and ruling the psychology of adolescents, the parents are finding it all the more difficult to take things into their stride. However, if an adolescent faces a crisis or a major trouble, it is the duty of the parents to find out what must have led to such a situation and the ways in which they should learn to cope with failures in life (Rowatt, 2001, pp.1-5). Adolescents and Crisis A majority of adolescents experience major crisis situations in their lives even before they reach the age of 18 or so. As a matter of fact, drinking in late night parties, socializing or establishing sexual relations without much thinking, running out for dates, leaving school are only a few of those incidents that are commonly observed in the youth of today. With technological advancements that have probably crippled us to a great extent physically, the mental make up has become worse. The adolescents of the present day is unable to follow a guided direction perhaps because their wants have become one with their desires and it does not hurt an individual to move with unfair means in order to achieve something which is beyond means. Under such circumstances, the parents have little control over their children and allowing them to enjoy this freedom, which is undoubtedly causing them more harm in the long run (Rowatt, 2001, p.3). Overview The period of adolescence has a direct relation with parenting or the role of parents. Although, there are different factors that affect the shaping of an individual during the transition from childhood to adolescence, there is no doubt about the role played by parents in helping their children for tackling this stage. The knowledge and understanding of the experts regarding the theories of adolescence as proposed by them assists in interpreting the features or characteristics of this stage with confidence. Although, the contents of those theories differ, all of them echo the fact that adolescence is a stage of life, which is characterized by different changes and parents should guide their children in becoming independent individuals by shedding off the negative outcome these changes. References Beckett C., and TaylorH. (2010), Human Growth and Development, London: Academic Press Coleman C. J (2011), The Nature of Adolescence, London: Routledge Foa B. Edna, and Andrews L.W (2006) If our Adolescent has an Anxiety Disorder, PennSylvania: OUP Golombok S.,(2000) Parenting: What Really Counts, Psychology Press Gross R., (2010) Psychology: The Science of Mind and Behavior, Hodder Kerr M., Stattin H., Rutger CME (2008), What can Parents Do: New Insights Into the Role of Parents, New York: John Wiley Rowatt W. G. (2001), Adolescents in Crisis, Kentucky: Knox Press Shaffer D. and Katherine K. (2010) Developmental Psychology: Childhood and Adolescence, New Jersey: Cengage Sudbery J., (2010) Human Growth and Development: An Introduction for Social Workers, London: Routledge Slater A. and Bremner G. (2010), An Introduction to Developmental Psychology, New York: Wiley Read More