Maintaining Relationships - Essay Example

Task: Maintaining Relationships Human beings, at some point in their lives must be in some form of relationships. The relationships vary from having friends, lovers and spouses. Many a time people find it hard to maintain such relations due to some factors that are at our disposal. People encounter problems in relationships which if not properly handled may lead to a break up in the case of lovers or those who are married. People must therefore learn ways of maintaining the relationships they are in.

Key among the strategies is effective communication, understanding one another and being realistic. Communication is a key factor to a healthy relationship between two partners. The number one step is to sure that your expectations coincide. The only sure way of achieving this is through effective communication (American Psychological Association, 2013). People must express their desires and what they want so that the other partner is well informed. Speaking out is vital. Effective communication entails being open and honest about how we feel, sharing hopes ideas and dreams in life with the partner and above all, to always be attentive when the other partner is talking to us.

This shows that you are dedicated and care about the relationship.Effective communications also comes into play as a factor in maintaining relationship when there is a misunderstanding between two partners. The way people respond to misunderstandings in a relationship matters a lot. People should watch the tone they use to address their partner in cases of disagreements. Low tone is the most effective to making the other partner equally angry. Respect between partners can help in keeping a relationship going.

People think differently and it is almost impossible to find partner who are complete duplicate in term of their ideologies. These posses a great challenge to most relationships. The partners or couples should understand the opinions of each other and respect those opinions. Respect in a relationship has to be mutual so that one partner does not feel sidelined. The respect in a relationship extends to privacy of partners. Just because people are in a relationship does not mean that partners do not have private lives.

Partners must not share everything and should take time to be alone. When in a relationship, it is vital for people to understand themselves as well as their partners. Partners should understand their specific needs that are responsible for certain reactions and behaviors in a relationship (Gil, 2013). At times, partners may be oblivious of their wants that make them behave in particular manner in a relationship. Need for love might result into a partner being very submissive whereas partners who want independence tend stay away from the other partner.

Understanding the needs for being in a relationship is a precursor to a healthy and mature behavior toward the other partner. Beside the needs, fear may also contribute to some behaviors in a relationship. Some people fear commitment, being single, not being independent while others fear getting hurt. In whichever case, the fears people have in relationships influence their behavior. The behaviors can be either beneficial or destructive to a relationship. Understanding the fears can be instrumental in helping people in adjusting their behaviors for the good of their relationships.

Partners should determine whether their expectations and fantasies are realistic. It is good for people to have expectations in relationships but the most important thing is whether or not those expectations are real. For instance, people may expect their partners to be there for them throughout, to love them as much as they want and that they will always be in good terms with their partners. This is always not the real case in most relationships. Having real expectations in a relationship helps in maintaining the relationship as it helps in limiting disagreements.

Exaggerated expectations may leave a partner disappointed. Like expectations, fantasies are part of people’s lives. It gives partners something to look forward to in relationship. Often partner fantasize that their relationships will be like those in movies. Such unrealistic fantasies ruin relationships. It is necessary for partners to reevaluate their fantasies for the prosperity of their relationships. For a relationship to last, the parties involved must always be responsible for their actions.

Each partner should be ready to take responsibility for part of the misunderstandings that arise between them (Harvey & Julia, 2006). The compromise shows that a partner may be wrong. Admitting mistake forms part of the solution of the problem. When two different people come together problems are expected and the sure way of solving such problems is through compromise. Faithfulness is also important for a relationship to last long. It creates an assurance that the partners love and care for each other.

Relationships where partners cheat on each other are most likely to fail relative to relationships where partners are committed to each others. Many people find it hard to maintain relationships. The major contribution to this is lack of effective communication between partner, partners having unrealistic expectations and fantasies. Some partners also find it hard to accept mistake which may be threat to the stability of a relationship. These can be avoided by partners to ensure maintenance of relationships.

References American Psychological Association. (2013, July 2). Happy couples: How to keep your relationship healthy. New York, USA. Gil, D. (2011). 7 Tips on Developing and Maintaining a Successful Intimate Relationship. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 3, 2013, from http://psychcentral.com/lib/ Harvey, J., & Julia, O. (2006). Minding the Close Relationship: A Theory of Relationship Enhancement. London: Cambridge University Press.