Proper Upbringing of Children - Assignment Example

? Topic: Lecturer: Presentation: Parenting Styles and their Effects on Social Development of Children Parenting is a challenging task bearing in mind that every parent wants his/her child to grow up to be a responsible and socially mature individual. According to Myer (110) parenting is influenced by own upbringing, role models, or the society in which they live. However, the personality of each parent plays a great role in influencing the parenting style adopted by the parent and consequently the social development of the child. The parenting style determines the interaction of the parent with the child hence its development. Most parents are frustrated trying to figure out the best way to parent their child so as to help them to grow up properly bearing in mind that the first few years of a child’s development depends on the parent or guardian. Parents are therefore supposed to be very careful how they bring up their children as this may affect their personality and development immensely. Myer identified three different parenting styles namely authoritarian, authoritative, and permissive style (111). Though some psychologists consider neglect as a parenting style, for Myer neglect is not a parenting style but a sub-style of permissive parenting. Each of these parenting styles affects the social development of a child in different ways. I was brought up by authoritarian parents. They emphasized much on rules and procedures and strict adherence to these rules. Failure to adhere would result to physical or harsh punishment. Instead of talking to me in a polite manner when I do something wrong, my parents resulted to yelling, threatening or blaming me for the mistake. They always focused on the negative behaviors and saw nothing good in me. As a result, I was always afraid of my parents or of doing something lest it be wrong thus hindering my independence; exploration and experimentation. Since I did not learn to think for myself, I would rather to obey and follow decisions made by others. Therefore I don feel confident enough to make good decisions on my own. I also became withdrawn and anxious and poor in interpersonal relationships or socializing. I also became mistrustful of adults and therefore could not confide in them my problems. However, I adjusted well in school and performed well though I became rebellious in my teenage years. This has affected my social life a lot. If I had been brought up by other parents, I believe I would have turned out differently. Permissive parents unlike my authoritarian parents let their children to set their own limits with little or no parental guidance. They do not consistently enforce or clarify rules hence giving mixed messages to their children (Myers, 111). They also accept all behaviors from their children be it good or bad thus do not give direction or control. They always give in to their children’s demands thus spoiling the child. Some parents neglect their children thus do not offer them parental direction nor emotional support. As a result, the child is not able to cope in a situation that requires observance of rules such as the school and therefore poor performance. Neglected children have low tolerance and have problems with impulsive control. They are also often aggressive. However, children of permissive parents are good in social interactions and have high self-esteem and confidence as opposed to those from authoritarian parents. Authoritative parents are presumed to be the best and portray characteristics of both authoritarian and permissive styles. They encourage child individuality and accept their personality while also setting limits and enforcing rules. They therefore combine nurturing and support with parental direction (Myer, 112). They discuss with the children while setting rules and hold them responsible for adhering to rules. They focus on positive behavior rather than negative behavior and give them support in their efforts. Children of such parents are self-confident, independent, have high self-esteem and are good in social skills. They are also trusting and therefore are open to adults. If I were a parent, I would use this style of parenting so as to bring up well socially mature children. Personality Tests in Job Application Process Most employers utilize the personality tests while recruiting employees. These tests use the personality traits of individuals to assess a range of actual behavior in concrete situations as well as self-assessment of own personality. These tests are administered through a questionnaire whereby an individual indicates the type of behavior he/she feels is his/her characteristics or one is given statements to declare whether they are true or false and a score is given against each answer. For example, one may be given such as a statement as “I like interacting with other people” and multiple choice answers given as a) True b) False. Scoring may also be 1) Agree 2) strongly agree 3) disagree 4) strongly disagree (Myers, 558-569). There are various personality tests such as the 16 Point Factor questionnaire (16 PF), The Big Five traits and the Myer—Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI). The MBTI is used to measure psychological preferences in how people view the world and how to make decisions. It is the most widely used for personality assessment. It includes 16 psychological types divided into two; Extraversion (E) Sensing(S), Thinking (T) and Judgment (J) are classified into one group ESTJ. The other grouping includes Introversion (1), Intuition (N), Feeling (F), perception (P) and is referred as INFP. The judging functions include thinking and feeling while perceptions include sensing and intuition. Each of these categories is described by certain behaviors or traits which the employers test on potential employees so as to determine whether they are suited for the job being filled (Myers, 558-574). The extraverts are considered as active, easy to interact with others, and are outgoing while the opposite introverts are reserved, thought oriented, and like being alone. The sensing type personalities trust more on data and tangible evidence or facts rather than relying on hunches to make decisions. On the other hand, the intuitive personalities trust on theories and principles rather than facts. The thinking type are reasonable, logical, and consistent while the feeling type rely on empathy. The 16PF questionnaire consists of 16 primary tests as well as the Big Five traits. In this case, the person taking the test answers questions based on behavior portrayed in their daily activities while the MBTI lets the individual self-assess himself (Myers, 569-574). The Big Five traits include: openness to experience, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism. Those who portray openness are always eager to learn and are creative. The conscientious individuals are self-disciplined and are also dependable while the extraverts are outgoing and sociable. Agreeableness represents those who are friendly and cooperative while neuroticism individuals know how to control their emotions but at the extreme, they are emotional (558-574). Though personality tests are used widely in organizations, they may be ineffective because they only show the preference and not the strength or degree of aptitude. The test-takers make self-assessment of their own personality hence give biased or distorted results; they only give the answers that the interviewer expects to hear. Once they are recruited, the individuals may not portray the same behavior in reality or in work setting. Furthermore, the tests cannot be used to predict behavior in some contexts. Personality or behavior is determined by both psychological and social factors and not only the genetic or trait factors (569-574). Gender difference in Regards to Depression Depression is a psychiatric disorder characterized by an inability to concentrate, extreme sadness, guilt, hopelessness and helplessness. People of all ages experience depression but according to Myer it is more prevalent among adults and also among women than men; adult women experience depression at a rate twice as adult men. This begs an answer to the question why it is more prevalent among adult women? Does happiness favor those of particular age, sex, or race? Does it come with certain traits or particular jobs? According to Myers happy people are not hostile, are forgiving, trusting, energetic, decisive and sociable. Those who are not happy with their lives experience anxiety and depression. Whereas women are vulverable to depression, men are more vulnerable to alcoholism and drug addiction (Myers, 625-632). There are many factors that account for the high rate of depression among women both psychological and environmental but environmental factors account for the greater percentage. Hormones have been attributed to causing high anxiety in women after puberty. The sex hormones are believed to fail to inhibit the production of stress hormones in women. Moreover, when women reach menopause they also get stress since they view themselves as less presentable to men. Women also get stressed due to their menstrual cycle, childbearing, and use of contraceptives hence the high rates of depression among women than men (Myers, 625- 636). Another factor that may account fro gender difference in stress levels is the gender roles. Women in society are regarded as caregivers hence spend most of their time taking care of children than men hence more stress. The situation worsens when women have to take up paying jobs and multitask trying to balance work and family life. They go to work and are also expected to take care of their husbands and children. The men are mostly concerned about their jobs such that they get more stressed when they lose their jobs. They spend a little time with children and are not stressed by the situation, but the nurturing nature of women makes them to be stressed if they do not spend time with children. Multitasking is also known to cause short-term memory problems and difficulty in concentration. While marriage makes men happy, it makes women stressed especially when the marriage is not working. The woman’s role as a caretaker, worker, wife, and mother therefore contributes a lot to the level of every day stress (634). Women are also perceived as not being able to cope with stress. While men are socialized to be independent and emotionally inhibited, women are socialized to be emotionally explosive and dependent on others for emotional support. Women therefore like affiliating with others at work or other social places and if such bonds are broken they suffer stress. Work is used in modern times to define identity. Men get the best jobs while women get the inferior and low paying jobs hence have a sense of low self-esteem which can lead to success. Besides, most women stay at home to look after the family and this may cause stress (632-634). Need to Belong The need to belong is a universal human need. People get this sense of belonging from their immediate families and then the outside world such as the school and the place of work among other social interactions. Children develop a very strong bond with their parents especially mothers hence attachment and if this bond is broken their psychological well-being is affected. Just like children, adults also constantly seek to belong to a particular group and if rejected they can have low self-esteem. Separation from others hence increases our need to belong (Myers, 479-481). Social ostracism refers to the emotional withdrawal from the target; for example, by avoiding eye contact or by silent treatment making the target feel invisible and worthless. Social ostracism is therefore often used to symbolize death since the source behaves as if the target does not exist hence it is devastating to the person being ostracized. There are various forms in which social ostracism can take place depending on the characteristics of the source and the target and also the social context. The source may actually be ostracizing the target but the target tries to convince him/her that it is not taking place. They often think that they are being paranoid and this may affect their self-confidence. However, the target does not suffer psychologically as he/she denies the existence of ostracism. Some roles may also dictate the ostracism of the role holders due to the nature of the work. For example, restaurant workers. Another form taken by ostracism is whereby the target uses defensive techniques. He/she believes that it is appropriate as a form of defense mechanism such as to avoid being hurt. If a person is aware that he/she has done something wrong, he may try to avoid the target hence ostracism. Ostracism may also be used as a form of punishment such as to rehabilitation or retribution and may include banishment and shunning. The targets therefore believe they deserve to be ostracized hence no major harmful effects are experienced (Myers, 479-481). The last form of ostracism is whereby the target is totally ignored by the source especially if it is due to his status, race, religion or any other form of discrimination. The person is made to feel invisible and unworthy of existence (Myers, 480). Having friends in one’s life is essential as it makes one to have a sense of belonging and not unwanted. This boosts one’s self-esteem as well as self-confidence and emotional stability. If one is rejected by a group he/she wants to belong to, this may lead to psychological problems. There was once a woman who was associating herself with the group of wealthy women hence gaining status in society. All the women were wealthy and were always together at social gatherings and other events such as outings. However, the woman got sick and used up her wealth in paying hospital bills. When she recovered, she was no longer wealthy as before and the group of women she was associating with started ignoring her. Nothing she said was of importance to them; they did not even reply to her questions or remarks or initiate a conversation with her. She felt so lonely because even though her friends did not throw her out of the group, they had nothing in common anymore and therefore often sidelined her and were very cool to her. The woman was so devastated for losing her sense of belonging and therefore, became so stressed, and eventually fell into a depression. Other people play a vital role in our lives. Having a sense of belonging enhances our health and prevents us from psychological problems such as depression, anxiety, stress, physical and mental illness hence improving our well-being. It also enhances our self-confidence, control, and makes our life meaningful and worth living. Sometimes it is our personality that makes other people ostracizes us. For example, if we are insensitive or are always complaining, our friends may fear confronting us for our mistakes and instead result to ostracism. However, this should be avoided at all cost. (Myers, 479-481). Reference Myers, D. Psychology. 9 ed. New York: Worth Publishers, 2009. Read More