Understanding Early Adulthood crisis with reference to the movie He's just not that into You - Essay Example

?Running head: EARLY ADULTHOOD DECISIONS Understanding Early Adulthood crisis with reference to the movie “He’s just not that into You” Institution Understanding Early Adulthood crisis with reference to the movie “He’s just not that into You” Early Adulthood: Early adulthood starts from the age 24 and lasts until 34. It is a time when a person has completed his physical, psychological, and social development, and begins to make his contribution to the society. This is when the focus shifts from observation to actualization of what has been learned so far (Newman & Newman, 2011). This means that, at this stage the individual starts pursuing and performing multiple roles in society. It marks the beginning of vocational possibilities, career launch, establishing oneself professionally, and making tentative decisions about intimate commitments, i.e., marriage. Young adults focus on aspects of generativity, such as a contribution to society through work, and child rearing (Berk, 2004). During early adulthood, Trajectory and Transition, themes begin to affect the sequence of a person’s life course. Trajectory is the specific sphere like home or work, and Transition implies the key events that affect trajectory domains of an individual (Newman & Newman, 2011). One aspect of the socialization process is the timing of an individual’s decisions with respect to certain aspects of communal life. For example, the choice of an academic trajectory is important for the adult social life course. Finishing education early is associated with different timetables for future family planning, marriage, occupation, and the attainment of material goods (Damon & Lerner, 2006). Intimacy vs Isolation: The psychological crisis at this stage, as proposed by Erik Erikson, is of Intimacy versus Isolation. According to Erikson “Early adulthood is the time for deciding whether to commit to a shared identity with another person—for resolving the conflict of intimacy versus isolation” (Sigelman& Rider, 2011). Intimacy in simple words is “the ability to experience an open, supportive, tender relationship with another person without fear of losing one’s own identity in the process” (Newman & Newman, 2011). If intimacy means experiential connectedness in a society, isolation is the existential aloofness. It is a negative state of mind, and a type of psychological distress in which a person is unable to connect and experience inter-subjectivity. It is the heightened sense of separateness. Early childhood crisis like shame, doubt, guilt, inferiority, and alienation, etc. may also give birth to the emotion of social isolation within the individual (Newman & Newman, 2011). Young adults must resolve the conflict of intimacy versus isolation. The urge for companionship and cohabitation is stronger during early adulthood. At the same time, balancing independence, self-identity, and a committed relationship is a unique but complex task, and this is where the conflict begins. A person initially shares such a relationship with parents and siblings, since family is the central domain where person shares confidences or weakness, expresses love, and receives areas of dependence (Newman & Newman, 2011). However, the distinctive aspect of preliminary adulthood is to initiate an intimate relationship with someone outside the family sphere. Research has also confirmed that intimacy is the central concern of early adulthood (Berk 2004).The crisis arises after self-identity is established, and the decision regarding sharing that identity with someone else has to be made (Gose, 2006). Inability to develop such an intimate relationship leads to psychological isolation, which is not as much desirable and undoubtedly less healthy for the individual. Key elements to understand for a counselor: Researches done on the needs and demands attached to early adulthood have confirmed that intimacy is the primary concern of young adults (Berk 2004, p.475). The urge for companionship and cohabitation is stronger during early adulthood (Newman & Newman, 2011, p.438). But at the same time balancing newly gained independence and self-identity, along with forming an intimate relationship is a unique but complex task, and this is where the conflict begins. A thorough understanding of the previous stages of life brings to the conclusion that an individual has been aptly prepared for this balancing act at home, because initially he/she shares similar relation with parents and siblings (Newman & Newman, 2011, p.439). “Since family is the central domain where a person shares confidences or weakness, expresses love, and receives areas of dependence“(Newman & Newman, 2011, p.439). But what makes this stage of life distinctive is the urge to initiate an intimate relationship with someone outside the family sphere. Inability to develop such an intimate relationship leads to psychological isolation, which is less desirable and undoubtedly less healthy for the individual. An analysis of the probable factors that can create the crisis will help a counselor resolve this crisis for the client. For instance, culture has its effects on the way a person gets affected by this challenge (Nevid, 2012, p.386). In some societies, people do not get to interact with the opposite gender on a casual basis, like in various Islamic societies. Similarly in some cultures, like Filipino, young adults are not allowed to live separately (Nevid, 2012, p.386). These and other factors like social status, judgmental issues, inability to cope, problems at workplace etc. also plays an important role in determining the crisis for intimacy and isolation (Newman & Newman, 2011, p.434). Counselor can analyze that early adulthood is all about respecting the existing domains of his/her life, family or work, and then exploring for newer ones i-e a suitable partner. It is where a person’s abilities of compromise, adjustment, and decision making will be tested through varying circumstances. Basically, every life stage incorporates a balancing act, which is important for a contented life ahead. This stage is no different. The key to a glorious early adulthood stage is to maintain perfect synchronization between work, family, and a budding intimate relation. Observation of early adulthood crisis through a movie: Movies are an effective way of projecting various crisis situations, and a cinematic observation could benefit a counselor greatly in understanding the crisis of intimacy and isolation (Gose, 2006). For observing young adults, the movie selected was “He’s just not that into you." It is based on the novel of the same name by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, released on 6 February 2009, produced by Nancy Juvonen and Drew Barrymore, and directed by Ken Kwapis (Kohn, 2009). The reason for choosing this is because it is about the lives of young adults from different walks of life, who are struggling to find the answers to their early adulthood problems. This movie tackles all the important issues of early adulthood, like the commitment related decisions of getting married, infidelity, and compatibility issues through its characters. It also displays how cultural or peer influences affect young adult’s decisions. Which character within the movie best describes the challenges during this stage of development? In this movie, many characters are going through certain adulthood challenges. That is why it is difficult to subscribe to one specific character. Every character has reached the phase of self-identity. Now they are facing the challenges of sharing their identity with the other. Gigi is facing the challenge of isolation, because she is unable to find a partner. The married-couple Ben and Janine have reached a point where they share a loveless relation, and depict the complexities underlying the decision of getting married at an early stage of adulthood. Beth and Neil are in a live-in relationship, but where Beth has reached the maturity level when she is ready for marriage, Neil is not yet ready. Conor and Anna are struggling to evaluate the difference between friendship and love. Through Mary’s character, the increasing influence of social-networking platforms like Facebook and MySpace has been described. It has been shown to display how sudden obsession for internet friendships and blind dating has affected the aesthetic norms of a society. Cultural influences are also depicted Beth and Neil. Beth decides to leave her long-time boyfriend Neil, because her family has a tradition of getting married soon after one finds a suitable partner. What is the struggle(s) within the movie that you feel best reflects the transitions or crisis during this stage of development? This movie tackles all the important issues of early adulthood, like the decision of getting married, infidelity, and compatibility issues. It also displays how before time influences of various cultural factors or peers, influences affect young adult’s decisions. Gigi is having problems at finding a perfect partner because is greatly under influence of her mother. This has been shown in the beginning scene, where her mother tells her that the “boy was meant to her because he likes you." Due to the false information, she has received from her peer about the signs at an early stage of life, she is facing challenges in judging the true personality of her boyfriends. Similarly, effects of peer influences have been shown through Janine’s character. Since her father died of lung cancer, and Ben was addicted to smoking, it became difficult for her to adjust. Ben’s inclination towards Anne shows his struggle to find true love. The struggle of Beth and Neil is on the confusion of sharing identity with each other. Neil and Ben are undergoing a transitional process, where each one is trying to understand the necessity of marriage during early adulthood. How did the character cope (or not cope)? By the end of the movie, every character did manage to cope with the situation. Gigi realized that it was mutual compatibility and not physical attractiveness that was integral for a healthy intimate relationship. She also learns to judge people correctly with help of her boyfriend Alex. Parting of Janine and Ben proved that hasty decisions made during early adulthood regarding marriage often prove to be wrong. The transition of Beth and Neil’s relation from live-in partners to a newly married couple shows that marriage-related decision should be made after considerable thought and agreement. Mary, Anne and Conor realized that friendship might be the first step towards a long-lasting intimate relationship. How did the character find resolution, if any? The characters who did manage to find resolution were of Gigi and Neil. Gigi resolved her isolation crisis with the help of her friend Alex, and finally came to the conclusion that obsessively searching for the perfect lover will never serve the purpose, so it is better to just go with the flow and allow destiny to takeover.  Neil realized that wedding is not an old school phenomenon, nor is it the end of love and intimacy. It is rather an extension of a relationship or the next step after the decision of sharing identity with one another has been made. References Berk, L. E. (2004). Development through the lifespan. Pearson Education India. Damon, W., & Lerner, R. M. (2006). Handbook of child psychology: Theoretical models of human development. John Wiley & Sons. Gose, M. D. (2006). Getting reel: A social science perspective on film. Cambria Press. Newman, B. M., & Newman, P. R. (2011).Development through life: A psychosocial approach. Cengage Learning. Sigelman, C. K., & Rider, E. A. (2011).Life-span human development. Cengage Learning. Kohn, A. (2009, 02 07).He’s just not that into you tops the charts as panther has no claws. Retrieved from http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0463359/news?year=2009;start=21 Read More