Adulthood Interview - Essay Example

?Adulthood Interview The individual that I interviewed was a fifty-two year old woman by the of Laura. She is a substitute teacher who, when notworking in one of the local public schools, also works as an independent filmmaker, spending much of her free time submitting her work into film festivals. Though she is content with her two jobs, her career plans did not pan out as she had hoped. She originally set out to become a fully qualified science teacher, but after taking a couple of film classes to fulfill elective credits in college, Laura ended up involving herself more in the arts than in science. I learned early on in our interview that Laura is a very optimistic individual. Even though she wasn’t working as she wanted to, the only thing she wanted to change about her jobs was to have longer hours for both. Instead of fighting the changes in her career, she accepted them and even made room for them to both exist in her life. Laura is a very active, interesting woman. In regard to her interests, she describes herself as being eclectic, never “doing one thing for long, and always finding something new to try.” She is very involved in the arts, especially in film and music production. She also makes it a point to read for at least an hour each day, which, as she explains, keeps her intellectual side strong. Furthermore, at fifty-two, she is incredibly physically active, taking classes in yoga, Pilates, and tae-bo; she used to participate in skiing and snowboarding, but “hung up [her] board and poles” after one too many broken bones. Despite that speed bump in her active life, Laura keeps herself physically and mentally stimulated. Laura has been married to her husband for eight years. This is her second marriage and, as she put it, hopefully her last. Laura has one daughter from her first marriage, and her current husband has a daughter from his first marriage. Both girls are nineteen years old and are very close friends; Laura’s daughter is a full-time law student and her stepdaughter is an art major. Laura’s husband, Zeke, works as an architect. Since Laura’s first husband and Zeke’s first wife are not in their respective daughters’ lives, the four of them have created their own happy little family together. Talking about her first marriage left Laura a bit emotional. Her own parents had divorced when she was younger, which left a sour taste in her mouth at the thought of marriage. She had very little dating experience in high school, where she met the man who would become her first husband. Laura married young, and this is what she thinks caused her marriage to fail. She and her first husband had rushed into things, though, ultimately, her husband wasn’t up to commitment. When Laura found out that she was pregnant with her daughter, her husband had been far from happy as their daughter “was an even greater weight holding him down.” He had been a good father, but once Laura and her husband got divorced, Laura became her daughter’s primary caretaker. Her first husband hadn’t even tried to seek custody, though, as time went on, neither Laura nor her daughter were bothered by this. They had all they needed in each other. Since most of Laura’s friends were either single or happily married, Laura wasn’t sure how to handle divorce. She felt that it had been inevitable, that she was doomed to repeat her parents’ history, though that did not leave her anymore prepared for the unwelcome event. But Laura, always the optimist, simply grew accustomed to being a single parent and she and her daughter gradually developed a very close relationship. It was many years later when the thought of marriage would cross Laura’s mind again. Laura admitted to being uneasy when she first met the man who would be her second husband. Optimistic, positive Laura had her “first experience of not finding a bright side.” She claimed that she wouldn’t have admitted it then, but after her first failed marriage, she couldn’t see how any other marriage would be different. When she met Zeke, she was able to see that marriage is not the tedious chore that her parents and first husband made it seem. Zeke also treated Laura’s daughter like his own, which Laura is still grateful for. While Laura’s first husband hadn’t seemed bothered by the fact that he had a daughter, it was a relief to Laura to see that Zeke understood the importance of children. Having watched her parents divorce and having experienced it firsthand, Laura was very opinionated when it came to divorce. She wishes “that divorce didn’t exist, that people could overcome their hardships. Between my parents and my own failed marriage, I am grateful that such a thing is possible. Some people just weren’t meant to be together and it’s no use to try and force something to work that is not going to end pleasantly.” Even thinking back to one of the most painful experiences in her life, Laura was still capable of finding the silver lining in an otherwise dark and ominous cloud. She considers Zeke to be the primary reason that she is able to have optimism even in the face of divorce. Laura is imbued with inspiration in regard to marriage, and as her daughters reach the age of marriage becoming a reality, Laura is comprehending all that she has learned between her two marriages. When I asked her what she thinks guidelines are for a successful marriage, she responded that all marriages are different and require different guidelines, but “the most important thing, next to love, is honesty. Couples shouldn’t have secrets. When they get married, they vow to share their lives, and that means everything.” She relays this to her daughters, as well as the importance of being your spouse’s best friend. “If you aren’t that close to your spouse before marriage, then you cannot maintain it through marriage. Marriage can’t survive without this bond.” Divorce, both Laura’s and her parents’, had been difficult for her, yet they were experiences that she grew from. I concluded the interview by asking her what she would do over again and what she learned from life. In regard to marriage, Laura responded with, “I wouldn’t do either marriage over. The first one wouldn't be worth the attempt, otherwise it would have worked out the first time around, and the second one is wonderful as it is.” As far as life as a whole was concerned, Laura said that she would not do anything over again since people become the individuals that they are due to the experiences that they face. Laura “wouldn’t be where [she] was without those vital lessons.” Laura is an individual who, in spite of all that she had been though, has absolutely no regrets as she continues to live what she, and I, consider to be a very successful, fulfilling life. From this interview, I learned that regardless of age, people are always growing in their journey through life. With each new stage of life that they experience, they are faced with new challenges and opportunities for growth. The difference between a younger person and an older person is that the older person learns to embrace the events and situations that the younger person would have done anything to avoid. The woman that I interviewed experienced events in her childhood that transferred to adulthood, such as her parents’ marriage, and shaped the way that she viewed herself and her life. And from her experiences in adulthood, she learned more valuable lessons. People never stop growing up. Admiration was the primary feeling that I had as I conducted this interview. The woman had gone through many hardships, and life wasn’t what she had originally planned. Yet I had never met someone so optimistic about her life. As she said, “Life goes on. It may not always feel like it, but once you hit rock bottom, you can only go up.” It made me reconsider my own life. I found myself thinking of conflicts that I am experiencing and how they can make me a better, more intelligent individual. It was a very compelling interview, and I thanked her profusely not just for an interview, but for many valuable insights into life. The change that I noticed in my perception of the prenatal/first year is that individuals mature to a completely new level when they have children. While it is common knowledge that having a child changes everything, these two interviews revealed to me that people (such as the woman I interviewed) obtain a new frame of mind when they become parents. Life expands significantly for them when they bring a new life into the world. Read More