The Ritual of Preparing for a Wedding in Hinduism - Essay Example

? In a Hindu marriage there are 16 ceremonies right from birth and till after death of which marriage is the 13th ceremony. Marriage is solemnized based on the Vedic principles. The actual wedding ceremony is lasts only a few hours but there are rituals before and after the wedding. The engagement ceremony entails exchange of rings and the bride’s family gifts sweets and savories to the groom’s family. Just before the wedding day mehendi (henna) is applied on the palms of the bride in beautiful floral patterns which symbolizes the strength of live in the married life (Seal, 2008). This ceremony is accompanied by music and dance and food. On the wedding day both the groom and the bride fast till the wedding is performed. In ancient days the wedding was performed late at night because people had to travel long distances on foot. The groom leaves in a procession known as ‘baraat’ for the wedding accompanied by relatives, friends and associates. The younger female members demand for gifts and block the path of the groom. On arrival at the bride’s place the groom of the feet are washed by the bride’s father, which is based on the principle that the groom is equivalent to God, typically Lord Shiva. The wedding rituals starts with worship of Lord Ganesh and this is performed at least 4-5 days in advance. This is a prayer to the Lord of Remover of Obstacles requesting His blessings that no obstacle should occur for the marriage. The wedding takes place under a canopy with fire as the witness. In ancient days the Indians worshipped the five elements as God; fire burns to ashes all that is not wanted and hence fire is kept as the witness. Fire also symbolizes the illumination of the mind, knowledge and happiness. The couple has to walk seven times round the fire each time taking a vow for the success of the marriage and their relationship. These seven vows are knows as the “saptapadi”. Amidst chanting of “mantras” the wedding ceremony is performed and the essential items used include jaggery, coconut, clarified butter or “ghee”, fresh flowers, rice, and vermillion (red powder) applied on the forehead of the bride to signify marriage hood. The bride’s parents “give away” the daughter in marriage to the groom and for this the priest first seeks the parents’ permission before performing the ritual. The “vidaai” ceremony or the departure of the bride with the groom is a touching moment when her parents and other relatives witness her leaving the parents’ home and start a new life. After some post-wedding rituals at the groom’s house, the bride comes back to her parents’ home for a short while before returning to her new home for the nuptial wedding night. The Chinese wedding comprises of the Proposal and Betrothal, the Chinese Wedding cakes, the Wedding Dowry, Bridal Bed Setting, Chinese Wedding Decorations, Wedding Day Ceremony, Wedding Door Game, Wedding Tea Ceremony, and the post wedding rituals (China Bridal, 2003). Here too like Indian weddings the ceremonies are divided into pre-wedding, wedding and post-wedding rituals. Usually a mediator communicates between the two families and the proposal is first placed before the groom’s family. If accepted, they send gifts to the bride’s family who respond. If it is positive from both ends, the day of the betrothal is decided. There is a lot of bargaining on the amount of goods and money that would have to be given to the girl’s family which is in contrast to the Indian customs where the bride’s family gives. The bridal cake received from the groom’s family is distributed to the relatives as an announcement of the wedding. The acceptance of the gifts by the bride’s family denotes that they have committed their girl to that boy in marriage. Inventoried dowry is then sent to the groom’s place which comprises of practical items to set up home. Installing the bridal bed is a big ceremony in China where men and women considered auspicious are selected to set up the bridal bed, after which children are invited on the bed as an omen of fertility. Hair-dressing is another significant ritual in Chinese weddings when the night before the wedding the bride has to cleanse her hair off evil influences. The groom family performs the capping ritual for the groom. The hair-dressing and the capping ritual signify that the children have entered adulthood. After this the groom starts for the bride’s home but is intercepted at the door by her friends, the ritual being known as ‘Wedding Door Ceremony’. The groom has to present some gifts to the girls to enter the place and start the wedding rituals. The groom comes here to pick up the bride after which they leave for the groom’s home where the bride has to leap over lit charcoal signifying warding off evil spirits and inviting prosperity. The actual wedding is known as Wedding Tea Ceremony during which the couple first kneel thrice to the heaven and the Earth, to the ancestral tablets and then towards each other. The bride then presents tea to the groom’s family in order of seniority and they in return give her gifts. The bridal room is lit with dragon and phoenix candle to drive away the evil spirit. The formal wedding vow in Chinese culture is taken over wine which the couple drinks from two cups tied together with a string. The day after the wedding the bride is expected to wake up early and cook for the whole family. Three days after the wedding the couple goes to visit the bride’s family. The engagement ring is the oldest tradition in western weddings and which, as insisted upon by the Pope, should be made in gold, signifying that the groom is willing to make a sacrifice for his bride (Euroevents & Travel, 2004). The western groom is usually accompanied by the Best man, which started as a tradition when in ancient days the groom kidnapped the bride and needed assistance to stand by during the wedding ceremony as well as to fight the relatives. An ancient nursery rhyme is sung at the wedding which goes thus - Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue. Something old signifies continuity; something new is a symbol of future, while something borrowed symbolizes happiness for the future. Blue is the color of purity and the bride and the groom wear something blue - a band of blue cloth around the bottom of their wedding attire. The groom also wears a flower from the bride’s wedding bouquet which is based on the tradition for a knight to carry a colorful handkerchief from the lady when entering a tournament. The bride wears a white gown in the western weddings along with a while veil which symbolizes purity. The wedding part comprises of the Best Man, the Maid of Honor, groomsmen, bridesmaids, flower girl, ring bearer, ushers, and junior bridesmaids (Weddings Center, 2011). The usher receives the guests and guides them to their seats. Usually the family and friends of the bride occupy one side of the church seats while the groom’s family occupies the other side. The bridal entourage consists of the maid of honor, the bridesmaids, the ring bearer, the flower girl, and finally the bride. The bride is accompanied to the altar by her father. The wedding ceremony is a simple affair held in the Church after which the couple signs the register in the presence of two witnesses. As the couple leaves the Church, the guests shower the couple with flowers and rice. The wedding ceremony is followed by a meal in which the wedding cake is also served. The guests toast the newlyweds before dinner and after dinner the couple cuts the cake. This is followed by dance and then the bride throws her bouquet at the unmarried women at the wedding with her back to them. It is believed that the woman who catches the bouquet will be the next to get married. Music is an essential part of western weddings. The groom carries the bride across the threshold of his house. The western weddings are distinctly different from the Asian weddings – the Indian and the Chinese weddings. Even between Chinese and Indian traditions there are major differences but the western wedding is crisp and short. Indian and Chinese weddings have several rituals that are performed over several days. They are based on the cultural heritage and every ritual has reasoning. The Indian weddings demonstrate the culture clan that prevails in the Asian societies. The groom and his family have to be given due importance and seniority are honored. The same is true for the Chinese weddings as well. However, the Indian wedding ritual is lengthy and the symbolism of which most people do not know. Nevertheless, the entire process appears to be interesting because for the last few days the mind of the bride and the groom is occupied with just one thought – of the wedding, of the partner, of preparations for the rituals. This is the process of meditation – one thought, one focus. When the mind is focused on one thought, no distractive thoughts would disturb the mind. In fact even the ritual of fasting on the wedding day is to constantly remind one’s self of the purpose of the fast, to be one with each other. The focus on the self influences the society and the rituals. The wedding is performed based on the Vedic principles and with ingredients all of which have significance. This implies that Indians consider nature and the elements as important in ensuring purity of thoughts, purity of mind and purifying the environment. Purity in weddings has been given importance in all three wedding rituals. The wedded life has to start with purity because it is believed that if the mind is pure the married life will remain pure and healthy. The society has a lot of importance at Indian weddings and everything is done with the consent of and in the presence of the members of the society. Thus the society influences the self. One follows the norms of the society and follows rituals such as fasting or wearing red clothes or applying henna without resistance. Interpersonal relationships at Indian weddings are high which denotes the importance given to members of the society. Basically when the girl moves from her home to live with a stranger, she undergoes psychological changes. She needs social support to adjust to the new environment and to the new life. The Chinese wedding too entails several rituals and involvement of family members. Again, being a collectivist society as per Hofstede’s (2009) cultural dimensions, filial piety is observed. Only after consent has been obtained, the wedding formalities are started. The bride and the groom traditionally do not see each other until the day of the wedding which shows the high respect for the decision of the elders in the family. The bargaining and negotiations are done by the elders in the family of which the bride and the groom may not even be aware of. Moreover, in these societies, they are provided the support to make the marriage work even though the two partners are strangers. In fact, even during the wedding interpersonal relationships between the two families indicate that it is possible to have decent social relationships. The purpose of marriage is procreation and continuity which is marked by the making up of the bridal bed in Chinese culture. It also helps the bride to feel comfortable when she knows she is being cared for. Again, an instance when the bride is provided with an environment to help her settle down amongst strangers. Moreover, in both Indian and Chinese weddings, young girls are involved by way of stopping the groom or teasing the groom in some form and extracting money from him. All these are fun gestures meant to lighten the mood of the bride who is usually under tension because of the major change occurring in her life. Thus, the society influences the self in many ways. In the western weddings, the focus is on exchanging the ring, in the wedding cake, in festivities and parties. However, purity and bridesmaids are a part of the wedding as in the case of weddings in Indian and Chinese cultures. Sanctity too is maintained at all three weddings. The mind is focused in all three wedding types on the ritual of the wedding so that the couple understands the significance of tying the nuptial knot. In western cultures there is absolute silence when the wedding is performed by the priest at the Church while in Chinese and Indian weddings there is fun and laughter all around. Food and feast are equally important at all wedding types. In all three weddings the bride leaves her home and enters the world of her husband. This shows the male dominated society and how the bride is willing to give up everything for the sake of being united with her husband. The weddings in western cultures lack the color, gaiety and liveliness found in the eastern weddings. The weddings in eastern cultures are based on traditional values and cultural heritage; they require the involvement of the society and the family members. Interpersonal relationships are given importance and the society not only shapes behavior but influences thoughts, influences the entire personality of an individual. Religious influence can be seen in eastern weddings in choosing of color, in the importance given to light and illumination, and in application of dragon symbols. Many symbols and significances in eastern weddings are meant to ward off evil spirits that could influence the married life of the couple. References China Bridal. (2003). Complete Guide to Chinese Wedding. Retrieved from http://www.chinabridal.com/etiquette/guide.htm Euroevents & Travel. (2004). Western European Wedding Traditions. Retrieved from http://www.worldweddingtraditions.com/locations/west_europe_traditions.html Hofstede, G. (2009). Geert Hofstede™ Cultural Dimensions. Retrieved from http://www.geert- hofstede.com/hofstede_china.shtml Seal, M. (2008). The Hindu Wedding Ceremony. Retrieved from http://www.redhotcurry.com/culture/hindu_wedding.htm Weddings Center. (2011). The Wedding Ceremony and the many customs. Retrieved from http://www.weddingscenter.com/wedding-ceremony.html Read More