Parenting Styles - Research Paper Example

?Parenting Styles Psychologists have done various researches in determining the role of parents in the development and upbringing of children. However, it is difficult to precisely find the cause and effect relation between the later behavior of child and particular actions of parents. In some cases, children adopt the habits and behavior from their elders primarily parents, while in other cases children depict entirely different set of traits and characteristics than that of their parents’. Despite of these challenges, psychologists and researchers have uncovered links between different style of parenting and their impact on children. In this regard, a research was conducted by Diana Baumrind in early 1960s in which she found out three important aspects of parenting. These aspects include: Nurturance and Warmth Disciplinary Strategies Style of Communication Expectations regarding control and maturity Based upon the above mentioned dimensions, Baumrind recommended that majority of parents depict three different styles of parenting. Moreover, further research has been conducted by Maccoby & Martin, (1983). The Three Style of Parenting Parents display different aspect of parenting style that comes into play depending upon the circumstances of each parent. These circumstances can be categorized as Stay at home Parent, Working parent, Possessive parent, Single Parent, Guilty Parent, Uninvolved Parent and Special Needs Parent. Depending upon these circumstances and behavior, parenting style can be categorized among three most prominent areas. They include: 1. Authoritarian Parenting 2. Authoritative Parenting 3. Permissive Parenting Further explanation for each of the different parenting style is given in subsequent paragraphs. 1. Authoritarian Parenting As its name says, this style of parenting involves strict restrictions from the side of parents. If children fail in following the rules and obligations defined by their parents, it usually ends up in punishment from the side of parents. Most of the times, authoritarian parents fail to provide reasoning and justification behind their predefined rules. If they are asked about the reasons behind any rules and regulations, they simply say “”because I don’t want it” or “because I said so”. Authoritarian parents have high expectations and demands from their children but they are often not approachable and receptive to their children. According to Baumrind, these types of parents are status and obedience oriented and want their children to obey their orders without any reasoning or explanation. (Baumrind, 1967) 2. Authoritative Parenting Authoritative style of parenting incorporates some traits of authoritarian style of parenting. Under authoritative parenting style, parents establish guidelines and rules which their children are expected to follow. Despite of it, this style is democratic as well. Authoritative parents listen to the questions and arguments of their children and responsive to the demands of their children. When children fail to meet the rules and regulations, authoritative parents are more forgiving and nurturing rather than punishing them. According to Baumrind, authoritative parents are assertive and not restrictive or intrusive. They impart and monitor the standards of their children’s conduct. In essence, instead of punitive, they are supportive. Authoritative parents want their children to be socially responsible and assertive. They also demands cooperation and self-regulation from their children. (Baumrind, 1967) 3. Permissive Parenting Permissive parents can also be called as indulgent and kind parents. They hardly demand anything from their children and have very low expectations from them. These parents barely show strictness or restrictions because they have relatively low level of self-control and maturity. According to Baumrind, these types of parents are more responsive and receptive than demanding. They are lenient, non-traditional and are often very friendly with their children. They avoid confrontation and allow substantial amount of self-regulation. Permissive parents are communicative to their children and often behave like a friend than a parent. (Baumrind, 1967) Impact of Styles of Parenting In children’s life, the presence and role of their parents shape their personality and mindset to a great extent. Therefore, behavior of parents influences the personality of their children. In this section, the impact of different parenting style on the personality and mindset of children are briefly explained. Authoritarian style of parenting expects their children to be proficient and obedient but they are ranked way lower in self-esteem, social competence and happiness. Authoritative style of parenting lead to happier and successful children. They are more capable of doing things on their own. Permissive children often experience lack of self-regulation and happiness. These types of children perform poorly in school and experience troubles related to authority. (Cherry, n.d.) Reasons of Differing Parenting Styles After reviewing the basic styles of parenting, the question that might come to one’s mind is that why parents do not depict authoritative style of parenting? After all, this parenting style is the one which leads to happier, successful, confident and more capable children. But what can be the major reasons which might lead to differing styles of parenting? Some major causes can be difference on the basis of family size, culture, personality, socioeconomic status, parental background, religion and educational level. (Cherry, n.d.) Definitely, parenting style is the most prominent in creating the unique blend of every family for instance, in some cases the mother may display authoritative style but the father shows permissive style. In such case, parents can co-work with each other for the better upbringing of their children. (Cherry, n.d.) Pros and Cons of Parenting Style All the three parenting styles come with negative and positive aspects. According to the requirements and necessity of every individual child and situation, the weight of negative and positive aspect will be different. There is no hard and fast rule of parenting. Parents can select a specific parenting style in the early of child according to the family circumstances and personality of their child. If this is done then parenting can be really very easy. For parents, it is essential to choose that parenting style which will suit the personality of their children. Here is a look at the pros and cons of each parenting style. These pros and cons must be reviewed by parents as it will make easier for them to decide which style fits best and needs to be adopted in a specific family. A single style can be adopted however many families also utilize a blend of two or more style as per their family’s requirement. (Pros and Cons of Various Parenting Style, 2008) Pros and Cons of Authoritarian Style of Parenting Authoritarian parents discourage two way discussions between child and parents and label it under the head of discipline. Authoritarian parenting is harsh, restrictive and demanding. Under this style of parenting, there are various rules, regulations, restrictions and obligations for children to follow. Children having authoritarian parents often show low self-esteem and also do not perform well academically. When asked children regard their parents as intrusive and punitive. Children having such parents usually display etiquettes and are obedient but most of the time they are not social and are unhappy. (Adair, 2009) Children having authoritarian parents possess poor life skills and are always directed by their parents about what to do and what not to do. They usually receive now rewards for their accomplishments but are always punished and scolded for displaying unacceptable behavior or in case of any mistake. (Pros and Cons of Various Parenting Style, 2008) Pros and Cons of Authoritative Style of Parenting Authoritative parents allow two way discussions between children and parents. They enforce disciplinary actions but at the same time display care, love and nurturing for their children. Children having such parents perform excellent academically and regard their parents as trusting, affectionate, understanding, encouraging and not overly strict. (Adair, 2009) This style of parenting makes kids balanced. They learn to be more confident, happy, cooperative and independent. They learn these things from the values of their parents. Children having such parents learn to deal with consequence and are able to make choices. The biggest disadvantage of this parenting style is that it is not applicable for every kid. For some children, it is very lenient and for others it has so many obligations. (Pros and Cons of Various Parenting Style, 2008) Pros and Cons of Permissive Parenting Style Permissive parents have very few rules for their children. They allow children to escape from almost everything. Often times, permissive parent feel guilt because of such behavior. The permissive parents overly encourage two way discussions between child and parents and in many case, it often leads to unawareness to parents about whereabouts of their children. Due to this reason, children often take decisions without informing their parents. They are often underachievers and immature. Permissive parents rarely participate in the annual meetings and functions of their children, rarely know about the religious beliefs of their children and rarely know who the friends of their children are. Many permissive parents admit that this is not the best style of parenting. (Adair, 2009) This parenting style gives a lot of advantages to children as it has least obligations and restrictions. Children are given full freedom and parents display a lot of care and love to their children. Children having such parents often do not know how to make choice between right and wrong behavior. Some children become immature, selfish and spoiled as they grow up. Children having such parents often do not have responsibility for anything. (Pros and Cons of Various Parenting Style, 2008) Authoritative Style- The Ideal Parenting Style Authoritative parenting style is the one which creates balance between permissive and authoritarian style of parenting for instance sometime parents have to oblige children to obey them despite of how the child feels while other times they allow children to make mistake so that they can learn. (Adair, 2009) The authoritative parenting style is considered as the most balanced and healthiest among all of the parenting styles. Authoritative parents enforce limits but they do so to safeguard their children. They provide validation and justification to their children for enforcing limits and make them understand the reasons behind those limits. (Pros and Cons of Various Parenting Style, 2008) By authoritative parenting style, children learn faster than most parents realize. The four important traits of authoritative parents include: Clarity in the communication with children Authoritative parents actively participate in conversation with their children unlike authoritarian parents who avoid being receptive to their and children and also unlike permissive parents who feel reluctant in talking to their children about sensitive issues. Control Authoritative parents are fair, consistent and firm in their behavior. In this way, they convince their children to meet parental standards. Nurturance Attention to child’s well-being and needs by showing warmth is the most prominent trait of authoritative parents. They feel pleasant when their child accomplishes something. Moreover, authoritative parents teach their children in being more balanced towards every aspect of life. They encourage their children to take responsibility of their life. They make their children not only better children but also better human beings by showing more concern towards sensitive areas. Authoritative parenting style is a balance between the other two styles of parenting. In this way, it is considered as the most ideal and best style of parenting. It has more advantages than disadvantages. Another reason which makes authoritative style an ideal is t because it develops good relation between parents and their children. It minimizes the communication gap and therefore leads to pleasant and happy relationship between children and their parent. (Adair, 2009) Comments for Parenting Style Each of the three parenting style; authoritarian, authoritative and permissive style has their advantages and disadvantages. For parents, it is essential to put restrictions as well as rewards for the achievement. Parents need to be friendly with their children so that they do not hesitate in sharing anything at the same time they need to be strict when if the situations demands. Parents need to behave like a friend and at the same time should also show responsible attitude like a good parent. Successful parenting skills can yield to successful upbringing of children. A famous quotation which has been used for centuries for the ideal upbringing of children is: “Feed them with a golden spoon but keep a lion’s eye on them”. The above quotation can be called as a summary of Authoritative Style of Parenting. After reviewing all the above parenting style, it has become evident that Authoritative Style of Parenting has more advantages than drawbacks. This style of parenting suits best to most of the situation because its positive aspects are very effective than others and negative aspects are not so much destructive. However, the negative aspects of the other two style of parenting can be destructive for the personality of children and positive aspects are also not very much strong. Parents have to actively participate in the nourishment and development of their children’s personality. Hiding away from the critical and sensitive issues (Permissive Style) or overly restricting them (Authoritative Style), both can destruct the personality of their children. A neutral balance between these two styles is vital and must be adopted. In this regard, it is recommended that parents should try to follow the Authoritative Style of Parenting in order to make the personality of their children more confident and regulated. Happy parenting is as important for children as any other crucial element. If parents are overly punitive then children will feel reluctant in facing them and will avoid them by being involved in personal chores including hanging out with friends, staying away from home etc. For this reason, it is necessary that there is enough peace and frankness at home so that children do not feel like moving away in order to avoid their parents or frustrating environment of home. This type of parenting style can also be brought by utilizing Authoritative Style of Parenting. The other two style of parenting can be damaging in shaping the behavior children. For parents, it is necessary to portray sensible and responsible attitude toward children, and for this reason, parents should adopt Authoritative Style of Parenting. Parents need to be concerned in not only the upbringing of their children but should also try to make their children social, responsible and humble towards areas people and society. Unnecessary rules and regulations can confine them and make their mentality isolated. Therefore, it is recommended that parents should adopt Authoritative Style of Parenting. Works Cited Adair, A. (2009, March 2). Motherhood Tips: Pros and Cons of Different Parenting Styles. Retrieved from Yahoo! Voices: http://voices.yahoo.com/motherhood-tips-pros-cons-different-2782741.html?cat=25 Baumrind, D. (1967). Child-care practices anteceding three patterns of preschool behavior. Genetic Psychology Monographs, 75, 43-88. Cherry, K. (n.d.). Parenting Style- The Four Style of Parenting. Retrieved from About Psychology: http://psychology.about.com/od/developmentalpsychology/a/parenting-style.htm Maccoby, E. E., & Martin, J. A. (1983). Socialization in the context of the family: Parent–child interaction. In P. H. Mussen & E. M. Hetherington, Handbook of child psychology: Vol. 4. Socialization, personality, and social development (4th ed.). New York: Wiley. Pros and Cons of Various Parenting Style. (2008, March 11). Pros and Cons of Various Parenting Style. Retrieved from Surf Net Parents: http://www.surfnetparents.com/517/pros-and-cons-of-various-parenting-styles/ Tiller, A. E. (n.d.). The Influence of Parenting Styles on Children’s Cognitive Development. Retrieved from http://www.kon.org/urc/tiller.pdf Read More