The Impact Of Divorce On Children - Research Paper Example

The Impact Of Divorce On Children Abstract The purpose of this research paper was to describe the impact of divorce on children. The researchers uncovered the impact of divorce on the personal and psychological development of children. The researcher made use of personal interviews and questionnaires to conduct the research. The whole research process took around two weeks that included visiting children, distributing and collecting questionnaires, and conducting interviews. Results of the researchers predicted that the children of divorced parents are usually less confident and face more life stresses as compared to the children of intact couples. Moreover, the results also showed that divorce between parents adversely affects the behavioral and psychological development of children. Introduction The divorce between parents puts the negative impact on the children. It is not only traumatic for the children but also shatters their dreams and wishes of life. Parents are like shelters for the children with whom they feel safe and secure. If one of the parents is lost, children start feeling insecure and their level of self-confidence shatters. Divorce although may work well for the conflicting parents but for children, it is always destructive. Parents need to think a lot before taking the decision to separate because their decision can really harm the health and happiness of the children. Some of the most harmful effects of divorce on children include the decrease in confidence, low self-esteem, the decrease in the decision-making power, sleep disturbances, and a permanent sense of grief due to broken family. In this paper, the effects of divorce on the emotional, behavioral, and psychological development of the children will be discussed in order to get an in-depth understanding of the severity of the issue. The Impact of Divorce on Children The divorce between parents never puts any good effect on children. It is such a hard tragedy for children, which really disturbs their personality development. The pain that the children experience after divorce is composed of grief, a sense of vulnerability, loss of the intact family, and strong feelings of powerlessness and rejection (Eleoff, 2003). Some parents think twice before going for the act of divorce because they are aware of the impact, which their divorce can put on their children. Such parents are concerned about the future of their children, and for this reason, they try to save their relationship. A good aspect of such parents is that they are fully aware of the psychological effects of divorce on the children and for that, they try to solve the issues between each other sensibly rather than taking the step of divorce. On the other hand, some parents are very emotional and overlook the positive effects of parental relationship on children while thinking about divorce. “Many couples considering divorce refuse to believe that divorce can have a negative effect on their children” (Bilotta, 2007). Such parents cannot predict the future very well and give preference to temporary negative emotions over the future of their children. Such parents do not consider the personal needs and wishes of their children while taking the decision of separation. Although separation brings short-term relief to such couples the consequences for the children are not short-term, rather the children have to bear the consequences for their whole lives. Emotional, Behavioral, and Psychological Consequences The divorce between parents affects personality development of the children in a number of ways. It not only affects personality development of the children but also makes them socially isolated in most of the cases. Some of the major emotional effects, which occur in the children due to the separation between their parents, include insecurity about future, fear of being alone, sense of rejection, inferiority complex, sense of powerlessness and inability, and anger and depression. Insecurity about Future One of the major setbacks for the children, which occur due to divorce, is that they start feeling insecure about their future. Children of divorced parents find it difficult to choose a proper direction for their future. Such children become fearful of many things, such as schooling, place in society, and financial insecurity. Some children become so much hopeless and discouraged that they leave it up to their fate to decide for them regarding every important matter of their lives. Fear of Being Alone Another emotional harm, which occurs for such children, is fear of being alone in the society. Such children cannot even explain to themselves what has happened to their lives. They become very afraid when they think that one of their parents has left them forever even being alive. Such children also start feeling dejected and unhappy. School-aged children feel more difficult to adjust after the separation between their parents as compared to younger or older children. "School-age children are unsettled by the big changes that come with divorce" (Wolf, n.d.). The reason is that school age is the most critical age for a person, as in this age, a person begins to understand different relationships and their values. Therefore, children of that age group feel the pain of separation more than any other age group. Sense of Rejection Children of divorced parents also feel rejected in the society. They feel that the divorce has happened due to something was done or said by them. Therefore, a sense of shame or guilt injects in their minds making them feel responsible for the divorce. Such children also feel unloved by their parents. They also feel unprivileged and low as compared to other children of their age. Young children have the close attachment with both father and mother. Loss of any one of the two due to divorce injects the feelings of rejection by their parents in the minds of the children. Inferiority Complex Another feeling, which occurs in the minds of such children, is the inferiority complex. Children start feeling inferior in front of the children who have both parents with them. Children of divorced parents cannot talk much in front of others because they consider themselves low in the society and always believe their opinions to be lightweight and unrealistic. Such children are usually average and low in confidence as compared to the children of intact families (Hughes, 2009). Sense of Powerlessness Children of divorced parents also feel powerlessness regarding different matters of life. Loss of one of the parents makes them feel insecure in the society. They feel that there is no one to support them in any difficult situation. Such children become unable to make critical decisions regarding their lives on their own and become dependent on others. In some cases, such children become so much lonely, low in confidence, and helpless that they become easy targets for the criminals. Anger and Depression Anger and depression are also deeply associated with the emotional development of the children of divorced parents. “Children who are having a hard time coping with their parents' divorce can sometimes very quietly sink to depression” (West, 2011). The feelings of rejection and loneliness make such children feel depressed at times and sometimes they feel powerless to cope with stressful situations. Some children become very aggressive and show their aggression at peers, at things around them, and even at themselves in some cases. Divorce also affects academic abilities of the children. Some children become academically weak and find it difficult to get good grades in their exams. Conclusion The divorce between parents puts the negative impact on children. Parents need to think twice before planning to separate because separation creates many behavioral, emotional, and psychological problems for young children. Research findings proved that divorce between parents adversely affects personality development of the children in a number of ways. The sense of insecurity, feelings of rejection and loneliness, and lack of self-confidence are some of the most considerable aftereffects of divorce on children. References Bilotta, L. (2007). The Hidden Effects of Divorce On Children. Retrieved from http://ezinearticles.com/?The-Hidden-Effects-of-Divorce-On-Children&id=405168 Eleoff, S. (2003). An Exploration of the Ramifications of Divorce on Children and Adolescents. Retrieved from http://www.childadvocate.net/divorce_effects_on_children.htm Hughes, R. (2009). The Effects of Divorce on Children. Retrieved from http://parenting247.org/article.cfm?ContentID=646 West, M. (2011). Children and Divorce - The Most Common Effects of Divorce on Children. Retrieved from http://ezinearticles.com/?Children-and-Divorce---The-Most-Common-Effects-of-Divorce-on-Children&id=5866739 Wolf, J. (n.d.). Effects of Divorce in School-Age Children. Retrieved from http://singleparents.about.com/od/effects-of-divorce/a/effects-of-divorce-in-school-age-children.htm Read More