The Effect of Divorce on Children - Essay Example

?Essay The impact that divorce has on children and the best family arrangement for them has been an issue that is being intensively researched and debated. Before dwelling into the various impacts that divorce might have on children, one can bear in mind the introducing lines from the article by Demo and Supple that it is only the traumatic experiences and processes occurring both before and after divorce that really have an effect and not divorce per se (Divorce- Effects On Children). The article also expresses the view that this impact on children has been exaggerated by the media and that divorce can also have some positive effects on the child. It also stresses that majority of children experience emotional and other problems only for a short-time which would eventually subside and they learn to adjust better. However, it is only a minority of them who have long-term problems (Burke, Mclntosh and Gridley; Divorce- Effects On Children). Thus the impact can be viewed from an optimistic as well as from a pessimistic viewpoint. Optimists view divorce as an end to marital stress and problems and that both parents and children would benefit from the process as the single parent can remarry to a more suitable partner and provide a secure family to the child. Pessimists view the process as highly challenging for the single parent as it could be difficult to make the child completely understand the situation and accept another family (Evans et al). Research evidences support the pessimistic view point that states that divorce does have a negative impact on the child. The age of the children who are involved also plays a vital role when considering the actual effects of divorce. In Australia during the period 1991-2001, there has been a steady rise in the number of children going through parental divorce. While it was 46, 700 in 1991, the number of children in 2001 was approximately 53,400 (Measures of Australia’s progress). Source: Measures of Australia’s progress, 2004. Such children are bound to have problems in social development and academic performance, economic hardships, psychological effects such as unhealthy emotional and physical states (Funder and Kinsella; Divorce- Effects On Children). In addition they also have difficulty in adjusting with peers and suffer from low self-esteem. Children who live in single-mother household, which is becoming more common after divorce off-late (Divorce- Effects On Children), experience difficulties in getting suitable education and work compared to children from two-parent families (Evans et al; Funder and Kinsella; Children and Divorce). This is mainly attributed to reduction of resources as a result of which children are unable to attain their full potential. Those who do not achieve good education tend to have lower self-esteem which in turn forces them to leave home which often results in quicker marriage and thus an overall lower fulfilling achievement in life (Funder and Kinsella). Thus success or failure in education tends to affects the overall quality of life of the child. Hence this is considered to be an important effect due to divorce (Evans et al). The various effects that divorce has on children are summarized below. Economic effects As it is common in many countries for children to live with their mothers after their parents divorce, there is a definite lack of resource when compared to the pre-separation situation despite assistance from fathers and other sources, according to certain reports. Lack of sufficient resources would prevent the child from developing into a more competent individual as they might not get the required educational and social exposures (Funder and Kinsella). According to a report by Evans et al, children coming form divorced families get half a year less education compared to those coming from intact families. Such an effect is mainly attributed to loss of parental guidance and emotional and economic support (Evans et al). Increase of family income through a step-father helps to stabilize the economic status; however it also has the disadvantage of increased conflict within the household and consequences of children leaving home at an early age (Funder and Kinsella). Psychological effects Of all the effects discussed, the psychological effects on children have a lasting impact on their minds. In addition to economic stress, children also tend to undergo a variety of psychological problems both during the process of divorce and after. Predivorce happenings tend to have a negative impact on the minds of parents owing to increased stress, anxiety and depression which in turn is reflected on the children. Hence children who go through the divorce process of their parents are more likely to be under a lot of stress compared to children coming from intact families (Burke, Mclntosh and Gridley; Divorce- Effects On Children). Studies have documented that children are affected due to constant arguments between parents, insufficient time spent with the child, and reduced parental warmth and affection (Divorce- Effects On Children). Children coming from divorced families experience high levels of depression and anxiety disorders. They also have more medical problems and illnesses compared to children from normal families. For those who have a pre-existing mental or personality disorder the process of divorce could worsen their illness (Burke, Mclntosh and Gridley). Those children, who have failed to get good education owing to the negative economic and emotional consequences of divorce, also tend to develop psychological problems later in life. They also show reduced adjustability in life and reduced confidence levels (Children and Divorce). Emotional effects The process of divorce tends to have an emotional impact especially on young children who are at a phase where they cannot completely understand what their parents are going through. The immaturity of pre-school children compounds their ability to cope with the process of their parent’s divorce (The Impact of Divorce on Children). There is also a gender difference in the way children react during the process of divorce. Research also indicates that girls suffer more emotional problems such as depression and low self-esteem than boys in conditions when they are overburdened with responsibilities (Burke, Mclntosh and Gridley). Boys, especially those living with their mothers, become more boisterous and arrogant because they might have a sense of loss of the same-sex parent and more so because fathers by and large share a friendly relationship with their children (The Impact of Divorce on Children). Educational effects A good education can have a positive impact on children. However research has established that children with divorced parents suffer a lag in their educational career. This could be due to one or all the effects discussed above such as psychological, emotional or economical effects of divorce. While children can overcome the other effects over a period of time, a loss in their education cannot be got back as age plays a vital role in a child’s education. This loss could have a lasting impact on the child till the end as it would in turn influence the job he or she takes up as well as other aspects of his future life. According to the report presented by Dr.Amato, research on the educational effects on children whose parents have divorced show that they are more likely to be high school drop-outs, less likely to attend college and thus be unemployed, and remain with fewer financial resources in adulthood (Children and Divorce). The impact of divorce on the child’s education has been a major area of research as it is believed to have an effect on the quality of life of the child which includes the kind of jobs they get, their marriage and their social status and overall realizing their full potential (Evans et al; Funder and Kinsella). These children on an average lose half a year of education according to a report by Evans et al. For some children this impact on education could be because of lack of parental guidance and support as parent who are contemplating divorce spend less time with their children, while for others change in economic status of the family affects their behavior which in turn reflects on their educational state. While the above causes were prevalent in studies carries out in the USA, in countries such as Australia child support systems mandated by the government serve to support the child financially (Evans et al). Research indicates that the degree of parental conflict determines the adjustability level of the child to parental divorce. There is a high risk of poor adjustment when there is prolonged conflict between the parents. In contrast, low conflict between the parents enable the child to adjust well to parental divorce and helps to strengthen the relationship between the parents and the child (Burke, Mclntosh and Gridley; Children and Divorce). It has been widely accepted that children of divorced parents need constant encouragement and emotional security to lead a stress free and happy life. Research shows that a higher percentage of parental divorce occurs when the child is a teenager, thus adolescents require a peaceful and a low-stress life as they grow up. When considering the best family arrangement for the child, it is widely accepted that children coming from intact families fare better than those whose parents have divorced. And the ideal family arrangement for these children, according to study reports, is shared residential arrangement with both the parents rather than with a single parent. This requires a sensible approach by both the parents and also step-parents if any, as it is important that children get to live and learn with both parents. This would help them overcome any feeling of insecurity and alienation. Hence proper divorce mediation and counseling would enable the child to adjust and develop as a better human being. In conclusion, it is the moral responsibility of every parent to ensure the well-being of their children and they must not let divorce or any other process to affect it. Divorce is a critical process for every child to handle more than the parents as it could leave the drained emotionally, psychologically and educationally. Proper attention to the child would alleviate such trauma and pain. Thus parents should work together to make their children feel secure and wanted. Reference: 1. “Measures of Australia’s progress.” Australian Bureau of Statistics, 2004. Web. 8 April 2011. < http://www.abs.gov.au/Ausstats/abs@.nsf/0/D5B489F508DA80B7CA256E7D0000264F?opendocument> 2. Burke, Susie., Mclntosh, Jennifer., and Gridley, Heather. “Parenting after Separation.” The Australian Psychological Society, 2007. Web. 8 April 2011 http://stage.aps.roadhouse.com.au/Assets/Files/Parenting_separation_LitReview.pdf 3. “Children and Divorce.” Michigan Family Impact Seminar Briefing Report, 2000. Web. 8 April 2011 4. “Divorce- Effects On Children, Effects On Couples, Effects On Parents.” 2008. Web. 8 April 2011 http://family.jrank.org/pages/413/Divorce.html> 5. Evans, M.D.R., Kelley, Jonathan., Borgers, M., Dronkers, J., and Rollenberg, L. “Parental divorce and children’s education: Australian Evidence.” Worldwide Attitudes, 1995. Web. 8 April 2011. < http://www.international-survey.org/wwa_pub/wwa_div2.htm> 6. Funder, Kate., and Kinsella, Simon. “Divorce, change and children: Effects of changing family structure and income on children.” Family Matters, 30 (1991): 20-23. Web. 8 April 2011 < http://www.aifs.gov.au/institute/pubs/fm1/fm30/kf.html> 7. “The Impact of Divorce on Children.” Parenting and Marital Advice, n.d. Web. 8 April 2011 < http://www.drheller.com/impact_divorce.html> Read More