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Running head: PRACTICAL BOOK REVIEW Practical Book Review: Why Don't We Listen Better? Communicating & Connecting in Relationships (University) PRACTICAL BOOK REVIEW 2 Practical Book Review: Why Don't We Listen Better? Communicating & Connecting in Relationships Summary It is an innate nature of humans to communicate and every one grows up knowing the basics communication skills --- talking and hearing. It could come as a surprise to have a book that helps in enhancing this very basic skill that has been naturally developed from birth.
It is easy to be cynical when it comes to tips or aids for better communication, but one should remember that merely hearing has a big difference from listening, and that exchange of words between two people is different from engaging in communication. Jim Petersen, the author of the book “Why Don’t We Listen Better? Communicating & Connecting in Relationships,” aims to explore the different ways in improving interpersonal communication processes. This book provides useful insights to those who want to improve the way they relate and communicate to those around them.
The book utilizes sensible techniques, practical tips, and simple examples derived from years of counseling and pastoral ministry experiences of Dr. Petersen. The book emphasizes how in daily communication, people are often left disconnected, misunderstood, and unheard. This depicts how daily communication appear to be courtroom-like, causing people to be in conflict with each other. Additionally, the flat-brain theory discussed in the book gives a tongue-in-cheek, yet clear, explanation on why and how people get affected with emotions, and provides tips on what to do about it particularly when it gets in the way of meaningful communication with other people.
It gives a logical structure in managing emotionally-charged discussions and situations. By making the readers understand how the brain works under pressure, stress, or attack, Dr. Petersen makes recovering from such a lot easier. PRACTICAL BOOK REVIEW 3 Furthermore, the flat-brain theory explores on the importance not only in listening, but also in attempting to be heard. Clearly, communication is a two-way street and no communication is complete without the process of hearing and listening. Dr. Petersen stresses the importance not only of attentive and active listening, but also of clear and open speaking.
Generally, the book is useful not only for people whose professions deal with interacting with people, but also for those who are in close or intimate relationships. The Talker-Listener Card provides a useful method of taking turns to end arguing particularly in emotionally-charged exchanges. This works well in family discussions, business relationships, group discussions, and even in daily interactions with people. For example, Dr. Petersen gives several listening techniques that could improve relationships by turning negative discussions and poor relationships into good ones, and good interactions into better ones.
The book not only provides a discussion on the questions that normally evolves around the issues of miscommunication, but also methods in solving them. The significance of good communication in relationships is not a new knowledge, however, perhaps due to the spontaneity of the communication process, people seldom realize that even innate skills need to be scrutinized and enhanced. Good relationships begin with a clear communication of desires, feelings, and expectations. They thrive when people help each other express themselves and listen carefully.
Listening carefully to both spoken and unspoken words creates a fertile environment for better communication. Equal opportunity to speak and be heard correctly should be made available to every individual involved in communication. This book is meant not only for academic or professional purposes, but for every day living as well. PRACTICAL BOOK REVIEW 4 References Petersen, J. (2007). Why don't we listen better?: Communicating & connecting in relationships. Tigard, OR: Petersen Publications.
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