Self-Disclosure, Gender, and Communication - Essay Example

Self-Disclosure, Gender, and Communication Self-Disclosure, Gender, and Communication Self-Disclosure is the ability of oneself to open up to another person and express their emotions, thoughts and also share personal information. For example, two people who have recently met and are willing to start a relationship, either for friendship or intimacy purposes, must frequently disclose personal information to each other for them to know each other better. Gender is used to differentiate between male and female with reference to their assigned roles, either socially or in terms of behavior.

Communication is when an individual transfer information to another person. This can be done verbally, writing and even sign language. As long as information has been conveyed from one person to another, this is considered communication (Derlega & Berg, 1987). The above defined terms are relevant to one if they are to use during interactions and relations to other individuals in the society. For example, close relationships existing between a man and woman will have fewer arguments if they communicate properly and open up to each other by expressing their emotions and thoughts.

I have read the article, “Shared Talking Styles Herald New and Lasting Romance” and I admit that I was fascinated by the information presented. Each time I read the article, I understood it better. This article suggests that individuals who are conversationally aligned are most likely to pair up. In speed dating, pairs who had the same language style agreed to meet again afterwards. From the article, ‘Critique of shared talking styles’, experts suggests that a large portion of the message conveyed from one individual to another is not contained in the words used, but instead in the vocal elements.

The vocal elements include tone of voice, accent, speed, volume and inflection. This has made me understand why I sometimes felt angry or sad after having a conversation with my girlfriend. At that time, I could not comprehend why I felt sad even though she did not say any offending word. After reading the article, I understood that non verbal communication is also noteworthy (Giri, 2004).I think the article gives detailed means of communication between two people. For example, it is true that women usually have an emotional tone and mannerism in a conversation that increases their chances of being liked.

This information should be made available either as books or websites for other people to read. This will change the way people communicate and relate to either their friends or lovers (Bowers, 2010, p. 1).The writer also makes me understand the way of interpreting people’s reaction after having a talk. First impressions usually matter a lot. One gets to hear a person complaining of disliking another one shortly after making acquaintances with them. Two days ago, I forwarded the article to my best friend Matt in Germany and the reply I got surprised me.

In the email, he explained that he had a better understanding why he and his now wife get along so well even after meeting in a social site. It all started with a straightforward hallo he says. Then through instant messaging chats, they both grew feelings for each other without even meeting. “I guess we used similar writing styles”. He says. They also finish each other’s sentences, and after their first meeting, he sensed that she was the one. This was particularly evident from the article on the second experiment that was carried out.

I will now discuss my Language Style Matching Score.Frankly speaking, I was disappointed by my first LSM score in which I used instant messages. In this test, I scored 0.62. The conversation in the instant messages was between me and Sarah whom we never met again after the first encounter. I decided to attempt the test again, and this time I used ongoing conversations between me and Patricia, a girl whom we lived within the same neighborhood since 3rd grade. My LSM score was 74. This was below average according to the website as average was 80.

Although the score was below average, I was able to understand the results I got from using Sarah’s and Patricia’s conversations. I analyzed the 2 conversations and noted that the language system between Patricia and I was much similar than Sarah’s. When I took the LSM, I noted that a few factors contributed to the score difference that include: the use of few words; of very different genres of writing between 2 people; and using extreme numbers of misspellings e.g. My conversation with Sarah contained a lot slang language.

The website advised me that the preferred way to run the test was through ongoing conversations and that individuals who used emails got a lower score. I ran different LSM tests with regard to the other person, and the scores did not differ much. This shows that I’m closer and well acquainted to the other persons. From my view, I think the results provide by the Language Style Matching (Ireland et al. 2010, p. 2) website are accurate. This is because, from the results, I got from the test suggested that the person I was communicating with had similar language style or we were familiar with each for a long time.

For instance, I scored 0.62 when I used Sarah’s and me conversation on the LSM test this suggested that we had different language style matching or had not known each for a long time. Although several sources from which I have read from regarding this topic, they suggest that it is not too serious and is still experimental, I tend to think the results provided by the Language Style Matching website are accurate. Language style matching is a comprehensive way to predict the quality of interpersonal relationships.

This is on the basis of language style similarities and other sources by associating it with a long period of partners knowing each other. This backed by statistics from experiments carried out by individuals back this up. For example, Molly Ireland and a psychologist, Pennebaker of the University of Texas Austin conducted an experiment that proved that conversation partners used related use of pronouns, conjunctions and prepositions, which are function words.ReferencesBowers, Bruce. (2010). Shared Talking Styles Herald New and Lasting Romance.

In dating, conversationally aligned players often pair up. Science News, pp. 1-3.Derlega, V & Berg, H. (1987). Self-Disclosure: Theory, Research, and Therapy. Springer.Gonzales, A., Hancock, J & Pennebaker. (2012). Language Style Matching as a Predictor of Social Dynamic in Small Groups. Communication Research, vol. 39, no. 2.Giri, N. (2004). Gender Role In Communication Style. New Delhi: Concept Publishing Company.Ireland et al. (2010). Language Style Matching Predicts Relationship Initiation and Stability.

Psychological Science, vol. 20, no, 10, pp. 1-6.Pearson, J., Turner, H & West L. (1995). Gender & Communication. Madison : Brown & Benchmark.