The Connection Between Psychology And Religion - Essay Example

As I begin this reflective paper I am well aware that this could an important paper for me. I feel very much a product of my upbringing and my family of origin. Yet I feel a stirring within me of a destiny that is beginning to be recognized in a small way now, but could mean a whole new adventure for me. It feels as if my legs are in two different boats and I need to have them both in one, if not I might get ripped apart. That decision seems complicated as either way it appears that a part of me will die. However as I reflect and write there is this inclination that the psychologist whose work we have discussed will be able to assist me at least to a limited degree. The limited death I am sensing could be opened up by the psychologists for me to understand the current position but I have already decided that this is not bad news but just an interim challenge which could hold me up for a better or a worse day. It is my intention to make this a better day not just for me but also the kids that have been given to me and society which I want to serve. A good way for me to begin this unraveling of my thoughts through the following pages is to begin with an anecdote involving two of the esteemed psychologists who have impacted the class. As an emerging psychologist Gordon Allport was desperate to meet with Sigmund Freud. When Allport arrived for the all-important meeting which has been pre arranged, Freud was seated and remained quietly seated for Gordon to begin. Having grown impatient after some time Gordon blurted out an event, which had occurred on the way. Apparently a little boy had been very upset as he was seated next to a very dirty old man. Gordon remarked that it possibly was something the little boy had learnt from his mother, who on another seat remained stoic, the picture of neatness and domination. Without considering this a passing observation, Freud understood as a deep thought process consciously or unconsciously working within Gordon, and remarked “And was that little boy you?” (Boeree) If that boy on the bus were a girl it would have been me. I felt that very restriction deep within me. It was not prohibitive when I was growing up. However when I faced with the situations of life where I felt I did not have any options, I certainly felt like a good girl seated next to dirty man, with a mother looming over. As a good catholic I believed in the seven sacraments and adhered to them as religiously as possible. My morality was also pile driven into the catholic belief of seven deadly sins in order to achieve the prescription of Jesus to be “Holy as he is Holy”. In marriage as a catholic woman of Irish culture this meant a necessity to stick with your choice of the husband come what may. The Roman Catholic Church insists that Jesus restored the permanence of marriage and it is an indissoluble sacrament though the Old Testament allowed divorce as a concession. Subsequently the church does not recognize divorces even when obtained through legal state processes. When this is juxtaposed with strong family values handed down by the home of origin it resulted in an inability in me to move away from an abusive marriage. This inability has been psychologically well analyzed by Freud and stated as the Oedipal myth. This myth dealing with the family represents “an imaginal narrative that emphasizes the importance of the familys founders, its collective values, and its position with respect to ‘outsiders’. Sigmund Freud identified the importance of the Oedipal myth as the basis of nuclear family dynamics (Rudnytsky 1992); however, the ‘myth of the family’ represents in reality a ‘family of myths’, each emphasizing different elements of potential interpersonal dynamics. But whereas some myths foster the childs optimal separation from parental influence and promote the process of individuation, others tend to hinder development. One potentially deleterious form of the family myth tends to serve the narcissistic wishes of parents in their bid to maintain influence over the child by fostering the archetypal features of their role. The children who are the targets of the myth are thwarted in their psychological development by virtue of the fact that they are denied the opportunity to humanize their archetypal projections onto their parent(s). The result is a persistence of childlike attitude with respect to people and situations that they encounter outside the nuclear family.” (Kradin2009, P 217) While I certainly do not believe that my parents were narcissist I do believe that my Catholic belief system and the Irish family background influenced be to a subservient position in remaining in an abusive situation. I further wonder if Freud is correct in his observation that religions specifically Judaism and Christianity is framed by the experience of guilt. Was it simply guilt that kept me in a dysfunctional relationship or was there some possibility of hope for change that hooked me? While I feel that Freud is helpful in the above areas his basic psychosexual theory is somewhat suspect to me. For these reasons when I look at my life in retrospect I am more comfortable with Erik Erikson’s psychosocial theory. I found his development of psychosocial crisis stages extremely helpful in assisting me understand where I am currently and therefore in which direction to move. In fact I feel that the psychosocial crisis stages and the corresponding columns of life stage relational issues, and the basic virtue description against crisis stages have an uncanny resemblance to the stages of my life. Describing my self-being in a subservient position as a basis of psychosexual theory almost violates me. Despite the old man sitting next to me and my mother staring at me I feel some thing, which is of more value kicking and breathing within me. This has been the case when I felt trapped in an abusive marriage. I think I am in between stage 7 & 8 of Erikson’s crisis stage. Integrity and despair is where my mind definitely is rooted currently. I want to have integrity with the comfort zone of my beliefs but in it’s despair as I feel that I am destined for more. Yet how do I break free? Though Gordon Allport might be at loggerheads with other psychologists his work has given me much hope in the ‘break free’ that I so desire. This could sound as if I am going to the doctor who gives me the medicine of my preference, but his recognition of the individuality in humans as well as the refusal to bring down human behavior to a few universal principles strike a deep chord in me. “Allport (1937) insisted adult motives could not be reduced to or explained in terms of childhood needs. While all behavior is dynamic (motivated, caused), it becomes free from its early sources in growth and maturation. Instead of being a habit that is carried over from childish dependency, the mature religions sentiment is motivated by adult, conscious values. He admits early conscience is a function of the fear of punishment. Further, childhood views of God do resemble a projected father image. Yet, mature conscience is guilty not for the things it has done against parental wishes, but for things it ought to do for the sake of values it holds dear. Mature faith is seen as the search for meaning beyond all self-seeking. Thus, he suggests an attribute of mature religion is the "derivative yet dynamic nature of the mature sentiment" Immature religion, whether in adult or child, is largely concerned with magical thinking, self-justification, and creature comfort. Thus it betrays its sustaining motives still to be the drives and desires of the body. By contrast, mature religion is less of a servant, and more of a master, in the economy of life. No longer goaded and steered exclusively by impulse, fears, and wishes, it tends rather to control and direct these motives toward a goal that is no longer determined by mere self -interests (Allport, 1950, p. 63). Using Allport’s theoretical framework of values there is projectory which is beginning to shed light of what my life could be in the short and medium term. The call for morality of the Catholic Church I believe is a response to the love of Jesus through loving God in return and loving your neighbor. This morality too boils down to love. When we state that God is perfect or Holy what we are also saying is that his value system is perfect and we must replicate his value system in our decision-making. When divorce was established as a concession of the Old Testament we must understand that it does not give license for any frivolous reason to dissolve marriage. Yet the essence of God’s creation of man is his image, likeness or dignity given to man. I believe that when a relationship begins to deride that dignity, through extended years of abuse it is possible, in fact needed for the thing that causes the dignity of man to be removed. The greater value is the dignity of a person over the integrity of marriage. I think that when the New Testament allows divorce in the case of adultery it is based on the same value system. This does not mean that any reason such as incompatibility is good enough for the marriage to be dissolved, as that would not be love. Now in terms of mature religion I am able to move away from the guilt that I have felt by divorcing my abusive husband. The human dignity that God has blessed me with has been shaken for too long and has been diminished. No man has the right to do that even in marriage. I have not moved away because of economic lack, lack of affection or a more attractive partner. I have moved away because of the consistent abuse that depreciated my humanity. I am beginning to shake off my shackles without a loss of my core values and I can smell adventure ahead of me. Not a solo adventure, but adventure that will encompass my children, and if longings come true that would impact society as well. My vision for the future is not going to be stated in terms of years as I feel that would be presumption. In terms of my faith I want to detail a brief vision for myself in the short, medium and medium/long terms if God gives breadth on my nostrils. In the short term I feel my objective should be to find greater inner healing for myself. This reflection has been a step in the right direction but is not adequate to cover the 23 years of torment. I have to get the needed counseling and therapy. I foresee group therapy and therapeutic faith based session, which would assist me to come out of my hurt and any dysfunctions in keeping with the core values of my life. It is well documented that the effects of abuse lasts for an extended period even after the relationship has been successfully terminated. This is because the self-esteem of the victim has been trampled to near extinction. Results of a pilot study reported in the American Psychological Association on Dialectical Behavior Therapy for Women Victims of Domestic Abuse stated its findings as follows. “This study examined the feasibility and effectiveness of DBT adapted for female victims of domestic abuse in a relatively brief (12-session) group format. Results support the feasibility and possible effectiveness of this approach. The group that completed treatment showed significant improvements on all of the outcome measures; participants reported reduced depressive symptoms, hopelessness, and psychiatric distress and reported increased social adjustment from pretreatment to post treatment. Not only were changes from pretreatment to post treatment statistically significant, the magnitude of changes was generally in the moderate-to-large range of effect sizes. (Katherine. et al 2007) While I have not made a value judgment on Freud’s Oedipal myth, I am well aware of the effects of our homes of origin on us. Consequently I am certainly concerned about the effect of the home, which I was instrumental in setting up which turned out dysfunctional at least to a degree. Having moved out of the abusive situation my concern is also the absence of a father figure in the crucial stages of my children and if it would further influence co-dependency in some of them. As a single mother I am specially concerned since it has been understood by proponents of twelve step programs that “Generally a parent who takes care of their own needs (emotional and physical) in a healthy way will be a better caretaker, whereas a codependent parent may be less effective, or may even do harm to a child”. (Co-dependants anonymous). I have been co dependant and now the absence of a father figure, further challenges me that I have to guide my children through to safer ground. My faith tells me that “God will be a father to the fatherless, and a husband to the widow” or in other words a helper to those in vulnerable situations. I intend passing such assuring faith on to my children, but that would be easier if I did not have the hidden doubts as to where God was when I put up with twenty years of abuse. Certainly as I find healing, I am hoping that I would pass on this healing to my children with the help of my faith. The compelling fears are the balancing of time in the studies I want to complete, the healing I want to find and the healing I want to pass on. In the Medium term I would like to study to be a practioner of such a therapeutic method. While I believe faith based approaches are useful I also believe that a faith approached coupled with a therapeutic approach will be of greatest value. Also in the medium term one of the focuses for me would be to move towards healing the many relationship including that with my own children and other families, which have been strained due to the problems of the past. Quite obviously my medium/long-term is to be a certified practioner, which would give meaning for the “ lost years” of my life. It is in this projectory of my life that I feel I would find myself again. To battle on behalf of others that which I feel has been stolen from me. There are social workers and social workers. There are those who started well but the system bent them into rigidity and service without compassion. As a single mother who has suffered much my goal in all phases of the life ahead of me as a mother and a social worker is that I would wear gloves of compassion be it in raising kids or helping families of abuse. Citations Allport, C. W. The individual and his religion. P 63 Boeree G. [http://www.ship.edu/%7Ecgboeree/perscontents.html Codependents Anonymous: Patterns and Characteristics, http://www.coda.org/tools4recovery/Patterns2-2011.htm of 19/10/2011 Katherine, M., & Fruzzetti, E., & Chad. s (2009) Dialectical Behavior Therapy for Women Victims of Domestic Abuse: A Pilot Study. Professional Psychology: Research and Practice American Psychological Association 2009, Vol. 40, No. 3, 242–248 0735-7028/09/$12.00 DOI: 10.1037/a0013476 Kradin, R., Journal of Analytical Psychology, Apr2009, Vol. 54 Issue 2, p217-232, 16 DOI: 10.1111/j.1468-5922.2009.01771.x (AN 37223878) Read More