Good Grief - Is There a Better Way to Be Bereaved - Essay Example

Running head: GOOD GRIEF Good grief College In the world today people are being faced with many challenges in life and the challenges are from losing a loved one, a pet, loss of income or ones freedom out of imprisonment and many more. People are also faced with the reality that they are having ailments or other conditions that are rather terminal and that to them death shall come sooner than later. This paper shall explore the works of Elisabeth Kübler-ross and agree with the findings that she came up with; a psychiatrist who came up with the five stages of grief which in other words are termed as Kübler-ross model (O’Rourke 2010). Grief is a process that individuals go through when they lose or realise they are about to lose something or someone they hold dear in life. This could be a spouse, relative, friend, their own life, property, income among others. These situations subject one into a state of disbelief where the individuals are unable to concentrate in their lives as they used to before as they preoccupy their thoughts with the loss they have suffered. The model’s stages sequence as follows denial stage, anger stage, bargaining, depression stage and the final one of acceptance (O’Rourke 2010). The model can also be used to interpret and come up with explanations for the tendencies associated with people going through rather mild situations than death for example break-up of a relationship, bankruptcy, relocation and many others. This is because these situations are similar in nature in that they all revolve around the loss of something or someone which one has a big attachment with. The stages as described in Kübler-ross’s book of 1969, On Death and Dying, are quite important to many who are grieving. They explain the various processes that one goes through and the reasons for that happening at a certain stage in life and not in another. The big question that seeks to be answered is whether there is really a better way to be bereaved and this is quite well illustrated in this lady’s work. To bereaved is quite a natural process that befalls many and that it is important for one to go through some experiences for them to harden and face life as it is and is supposed to be here on earth. Death in particular of a close person is quite heartening and it makes one to go through a process of grief that at times may not come to an end no matter how they try. The person leaving their loved ones is also at a bad state knowing that they shall leave them behind and takes all the time they have remaining in trying to interact with them so as to leave a peaceful person. In order to answer the above question on whether there is a better way to be bereaved, it is hereby important to go through the five stages so as to develop a conclusion which will be coherently arrived at. The first stage as outlined earlier in the paper is that of denial whereby the individual dying or grieving first feels that this is not a real occurrence and it is not going to happen to them. The next is anger stage where the individuals involved become annoyed that this is happening to them and they show it in the best way they know how either by taking it on others or showing it in their talking or actions. The third stage is that of bargaining where one has already accepted the situation as it is but is asking for another chance of some sort to get that which is lost. This stage is full of wishes from the individuals involved where they wish they had or had not done a certain thing. The other stage is that of depression. Here one becomes quite sad that the reality is that the grief is real and they need to find ways of dealing with it. It is characterised by aspects of withdrawal and is a stage that is encouraged that those around such people should not try to make them feel better as this will disrupt the healing process. The fifth and the last stage is that of acceptance whereby one fully accepts the situation and moves on with their normal life. This does not imply that one loses the sense of sadness but it fades away with time although not fully (O’Rourke 2010). On taking a look into the case of Linda who has leukaemia that was rather untreatable, she had reached the acceptance stage and she was ready to share her experiences in public. It is clear that she was tired of the pretence that people had of showing her that all will be well and she will get well with time. She had passed all the stages and it was time to accept the situation and that death was just in the corner. Being young that she was shows the sense of determination and selflessness by merely showing the willingness to address that gathering. It can be well said that she was at peace with the situation. It is also evident that people try to treat such kind of people with pretence by looking at the line of questioning the audience were relaying to her. They deliberately avoided to question her about the eventuality i.e. death (O’Rourke 2010). The same case applies to the refusal by the hospital administration to renew her contract of arranging for seminars with dying patients. There were many other protests within the medical profession and beyond whereby even journals were written to oppose her research findings. It is not fair for those in the medical profession to act like death for patients with terminal illness should be news to be shared by others excluding the affected person. People should be let to know what awaits them so as to go through these five stages and by the time they are in their fifth stage, they shall have accepted the situation and already feeling better about the situation (O’Rourke 2010). This will also help the relatives and friends to be fast in going through the stages even after the person dies. All together it is important for one to know the status of their health and what awaits them. This assists in that all parties involved with time will become acquainted with the actual situation at hand. People should view Kübler-ross model as a tool that helps people to identify with their grief patterns as it has been seen, one is at peace with themselves at the later stage of acceptance and one can only attain this by going through the process of grieving. References O’Rourke, M (2010). Good Grief: Is there a better way to be bereaved? The New Yorker, viewed 7 June 2010, from . Read More