Grief Group Counseling in Elementary Setting - Research Paper Example

GROUP THERAPY FOR CHILDREN: GRIEF ON LOOSING A LOVED ONE SUBMITTED BY: SUBMITTED INSTITUTE: TABLE OF CONTENTS Topic Page 1. INTRODUCTION………………………………………………………………………01 1.1 Grief and bereavement in children…………………………………………….......01 1.2 Why group counseling? ...................................................................................03 1.3 Grief counseling techniques………………………………………………………..04 2. COUNSELING PROGRAM………………………………………………….…….…05 2.1 Proposal to Principal and Admin……………………………………………….….06 2.2 Aim of the proposal…………………………………………………………….……06 2.3 Advertising the program…………………………………………………….………07 3. COUNSELING SESSIONS…………………………………………………….…….07 3.1 Session 1…………………………………………………………………………….07 3.2 Session 2…………………………………………………………………………….08 3.3 Session 3…………………………………………………………………………….09 3.4 Session 4…………………………………………………………………………….09 3.5 Session 5…………………………………………………………………………….10 3.6 Session 6…………………………………………………………………………….10 3.7 Session 7…………………………………………………………………………….10 3.8 Session 8…………………………………………………………………………….11 4. PLAN SUMMARY AND CONCLUSION…………………………………………….11 References Appendices 1. INTRODUCTION In terms of counseling, ‘Grief’ refers to the state of mind a person goes through on the demise/loss of a significant person in life. Grief is very painful and children find it very difficult to cope with the loss of a loved one in their lives. Grief can negatively impact the social, psychological and academic lives of children. (Forte, et al; 2004). This paper encloses a proposal for group counseling of grieved school children between ages 8 and 10 years .The aim of this proposed project is to help the grieved children cope with their loss and to assist them in accepting the loss and settling into their lives again. 1.1 Grief and bereavement in children Bereaved children are those who have lost a close one in their lives. It can be a parent, grandparent, sibling or a close friend or relative. Bereaved children express grief in various forms. According to Worden (1996), the most common ways of expressing grief include feeling guilt and responsible for the death/loss, feeling angry and acting out aggressive behavior, self punishing behavior, mild illness of some sort and depression. According to Duffy (1995), coping with the loss of a loved one is dependent on two things: first, the personality and coping skills of the bereaved child and second, the environment. It is important for the child to express the grief in some form in order to let it go. For this purpose, the environment should be facilitative. Children who have lost a parent often also have to face the surviving parent’s emotional outburst or dysfunction. Such children develop feelings of guilt or try to snub their own emotions on the loss in order to maintain a good atmosphere for the surviving parent. Grief can be understood in following stages (Duffy, 1995): Shock is usually the first stage of early grief. The bereaved person/child feels numb; as if there is no sensation. Persons in grief do not cry or weep at once. Weeping comes when they over come initial shock. Disbelief and denial of the death/loss follows the stage of shock. In this stage the child may claim that he/she has seen the deceased somewhere or may behave and talk about the deceased as if they were still alive and nothing was different. Alarm is the common reaction after the bereaved child overcomes the stage of denial. The child especially in case of loss of a parent feels threatened, insecure and panicky because of the loss. Alarm is often followed by an emotional reaction of some sort, usually anger or guilt. This anger may be self directed, directed towards God or towards the surviving parent/sibling/care taker. It is very important to express the grief in form of emotions in order to let it out and move on worth life (Duffy, 1995). Acceptance is the final stage of grief. This the point where the bereaved person finally accepts the fact that the loved one is gone, will not come back and that no matter what, life has to go on. Webb and Doka (2010) explain that the impact of the death of a loved one on children is dependent on many factors. These include: type of death, relation and affiliation with the deceased, expression of farewell, reaction/ response and intellectual maturity. This is why each child responds to grief in a unique manner. 1.2 Why Group Counseling? Bereavement or grief on loss of a loved one can have serious negative consequences on the personality of the child and it is important to provide some form of counseling to help the child cope with the loss (Worden, 1996). Another important implication of counseling children in bereavement is that it ensures the identification of high risk bereaved children and timely, measures can save such children from leading towards self destruction (Worden, 1996). Bereavement has a negative impact on academics. According to one study cited in Worden (1996), one fifth of the bereaved children reported having difficulties in studies. Some reported learning difficulties while most reported a lack of ability of concentrate on academics. Research has further revealed that children who are doing poorly in academics are often also facing anxiety and a low self esteem. Research has shown that group counseling for bereaved children not only enhances their self esteem but also trains the children in communication skills and they leave the group being better equipped with social skills than they ever were (Truneckova & Viney, 2008). A study by Reid & Dixon (1999), cited in Samide & Stockton (2002) found that bereavement has such a great impact on the overall performance of the child in school, that teachers also sometimes need the assistance of school counselors while dealing with bereaved children. According to Morgan & Roberts (2010), children between ages 7to 11 years have developed the concept of death, but they are not mentally mature enough to connect it to their own lives. That is why children in this age group usually develop feelings of guilt on the death of someone close to them. They need to be reassured via effective counseling that the death was not their fault and that they couldn’t have done anything to stop the death. Gazda et al (), suggest that since group therapy enables the children to make peer-peer relationships with children facing similar problems as themselves, these groups work best when based on the developmental stage. A developmental group is one which consists of children going through more or less the same developmental stage. 1.3 Grief Counseling Techniques There are various techniques that have been utilized by counselors in the past for children grief counseling programs (7-11 years of age). Some of these techniques are highlighted below: Group Therapy: According to Morgan & Roberts (2010), group therapy is an effective way to assist grieving children because it enables them to come together with other grieving children. This way they do not feel alone and they get a chance to share their feelings with other children. Support groups were originally designed and created to provide a safe platform where disturbed people could share their experiences and feelings with each other (Morgan & Roberts, 2010). Bibliotherapy: The term bibliotherapy was coined in 1916 by Carothers (Cohen, 1987; cited in Morgan & Roberts, 2010). Bibliotherapy refers to the process of encouraging the grieved children to read books and stories that might prove to be helpful in counseling. According to Morgan & Roberts (2010), reading such books answer many questions that the children may have regarding death and another advantage of bibliotherapy is that it reduces the sense of isolation and loneliness that the children may feel while they grieve. Art Therapy: Art therapy techniques are a basic and integral part of group therapy for children (Webb & Doka, 2010). Often when young children cannot express their grief in words, it is best to express via art work, especially drawings (Morgan and Roberts, 2010). According to Finn (2003), art materials like crayons and paints have a universal appeal for children and these materials can prove to be an effective means of emotional expression for children. Play Therapy: Play is the best medium of expression for children aged between 8 and 10 years. Webb & Doka (2010) explain that play is the best medium for therapy for children of this age because via play, the children can re live the experience and remove the misperceptions. The event can be reconstructed in guilt less manner. For example, if the child feels guilty for not saying a proper goodbye to his father on the day he died, he can play as if the event was re occurring and would say goodbye this time. Such expressions can help the emotions come out and relive the child of undue guilt related to the death (Webb & Doka, 2010). 2. COUNSELLING PROGRAM 2.1 Proposal to the Principal and admin Bereaved children need to mourn in order to let go the grief and move on with their lives. School performance is greatly affected by grief; therefore school counselors can play a very effective role in helping the children cope with the loss (Samide & Stockton, 2002). I, being the school counselor have identified many cases of bereavement during my period of employment. I strongly feel that a group counseling program can prove to be very useful for the mental health of bereaved children enrolled in school as well as for their parents/guardians. Enclosed herein is a comprehensive proposal for a group counseling program. What I suggest in this group counseling program titled ‘Good Grief’ is a one month program, which will consist of eight sessions in all. The group will meet up twice a week for hourly sessions. I am fully convinced that this program if approved and implemented will make a big difference and will change the lives of many participants for the better. Permission request is attached in the appendix. 2.2 Aims of the proposal This proposal has following aims and objectives: To help the grieved students in understanding death and coping with their loss. To provide a platform where grieved children can meet other grieved children. To identify high risk grieved children and suggest a timely therapeutic remedy. 2.3 Advertising the group counseling sessions Attracting the parents of bereaved children to this counseling program will be no less than a challenge for the school administration. The program will be titled ‘good Grief’. For this purpose, I have created a brochure (see Appendix), which can be published in form of a news letter or advertisement in the school magazine. If granted permission I will also personally identify the group of children in need of counseling and will call up their parents/guardians and convince them to send their child for group counseling. In addition, the brochures can also be displayed on the school notice boards for the attention of all parents who regularly see the notice board. 3. GROUP THERAPY SESSIONS Many psychologists have devised session wise group therapy plans for the counseling of children who have undergone the loss of a loved one. Following is a suggested step wise plan consisting of eight sessions. The group will consist of 7 to 12 group members in grief, aged from 8 to 10 years. The work of various psychologists was reviewed in detail before the following was finalized; however this plan draws mainly upon the work of Finn (2003) and Samide & Stockson (2002), with some innovative modifications and changes. Session 1: The first session will one and a half hour in duration. This session will begin with a brief introduction of all group members. Each child will be asked to give a brief self introduction and to explain why he/she has joined the group. Each child will then be presented with art materials and will be asked to produce a drawing of themselves and their families. Once the drawings are finished, the children will then be asked to explain what is happening in the drawings, who are the people on the drawings and what does the child feel about the lost member. After this, each child will be given a book to read. This book will be in accordance to the relation of each child with the loved one. The book list includes: Everett Anderson’s Goodbye, Nana Upstairs & Nana Downstairs, I heard your daddy died, Molly’s mom died, Samantha Jane’s missing smile, Sammy’s mommy has cancer, Finding Grandpa Everywhere, No new baby, Always my Brother and Stacy had a little sister. The children will be asked to read the stories as home work. They will be explained how the stories relate to them for example, the counselor will say: ‘Here is a story for you to read. A young boy in this story also lost his mother like you. The story of the boy is so much like yours; you’ll find it easy to understand’. Session 2: The second session will begin with some interrogation about the home work stories. If a child has not read the story, he/she will be asked to read it now. The main goal of this session will be to help the child express his/her feelings regarding the loss. All children will be asked questions like: ‘Do you resemble any of the characters in the story? How did you feel about the story? How do you think the boy/girl in the story felt? Who would you like to add in the story? How would you like to change the ending of the story? What do you think will happen to the characters next…after a few years?’ etc. The children will then be shown a feeling faces chart and will be asked to identify the face that reflects their feelings at the time of the event, right after it, and at present. The children will then be asked to act out the feelings they have identified and also to draw them on paper. These feelings will then be discussed and shared with the whole group. Session 3: Session three will focus on memories. Each child will be asked what they remember and miss about the lost person most. It can be their face, an activity the children shared with them, a specific music or art work, a way of dressing etc. the children will then be asked to come up with ways a person can be remembered in. A list will then be created of the ways to recall a person who is no more. After that, in light of this list displayed on the board, each child will ask to relate their lost relation with one memory from the list. A discussion will thus be initiated about how missing some one feels and how remembering them feels. They will then be asked to act out their favorite memory with the lost person, via play with the group members. Session 4: This session will focus on death education. The children will be explained the phenomenon of death and will be assured that it is nobody’s fault when someone dies. The children should be familiarized with death related vocabulary so that they are in a better position to express their feelings after this session. Each child will be asked to write whatever questions they have about death on small pieces of paper and put them in a box. All the questions in the box will then be answered for the whole group. Session 5: This session will focus on explaining the children about grief. Grief is accompanied by so many new feelings and pain that the children find it difficult to understand it. If they know what they are going through, it becomes easier for them to understand it. Stages of grief given by Kubler-Ross include: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. These stages will be explained to the children in form of a story. After the story each child will be asked to relate the stages of grief as explained in the story to their selves. They will be asked to elaborate how they went through these stages. Session 6: The loss of a family member is often accompanied by many changes in the life of the child. These may include a different economic status, living re-arrangements, adoption or a new life style (Samide & Stockton, 2002). It is important to address and acknowledge these changes. For this, parents/guardians of the children will be invited to this session, as silent listeners. After explaining what changes can co occur with a loss, each child will be asked to identify changes in their lives with help of the guardian/parent if required. The children will then be asked to explain how they feel about the changes and they will also be asked to make a drawing, reflecting their new life. Session 7: By the time of seventh session, the feelings of the group will probably have surfaced and their emotions acknowledged fully. This is the time when they will be guided about how to deal with these emotions. In this session the children will be asked to point out ways to react to an emotion. These reactions will then be classified as constructive or destructive by the counselor on board with use of pictures. In the same session, the members will be asked to paint a huge drawing spread on the table in form of a group. Each child will be given coloring and painting materials, and will ask to rotate/change seats every 10 minutes. This will give them the concept of group work and sharing their sorrows and joys with others. Session 8 In this session each child will be asked to imagine the tombstone of the lost person and will be asked to write a few farewell lines for the person who died. Being the concluding session, all children will one by one be asked to reflect on the program and identify what changes have occurred in their perception of the loss during the sessions. 4. PLAN SUMMARY & CONCLUSION The plan for group counseling of grieved children will last for a moth, consisting of 8, one hourly sessions in all. The group will meet up twice a week, the guardians/parents of the participants will be invited only once throughout the group sessions. The participants and their parents will be informed about the program before hand with the permission of the principal and cooperation of the admin staff. It is aimed that this program will help the counselor better understand the issues faced by grieved children and will place the counselor and school teachers in a better position to help and guide the child cope with the loss. Following is the diagrammatic presentation of the plan being proposed in this paper. To sum up, this proposal for group therapy of children combines many useful techniques of therapy including bibliotherapy, art therapy, acting out and play therapy. It is hoped that this program if allowed to be implemented will prove to be very helpful in assisting the grieved students of the school to cope with their negative emotions regarding the loss. The children will not only find other children with similar issues to share their sorrows and pain with, but will also have a chance to express their emotions and interact with each other, which will definitely leave them more well equipped in inter personal and social skills. REFERENCES Duffy, W. (1995). Children and Bereavement. London: Church house publishing. Forte, A.L; Hill, M; Pazder, R & Feudtner, C. (2004). Bereavement care interventions: A systematic review. BMC Palliative Care, Vol. 3(3). Finn, C. A. (2003). Helping students cope with loss: Incorporating art into group counselling. Journal for specialists in group work, Vol. 28(2): P. 155-165. Gazda, Morgan, J.P; Roberts, J.E. (2010). Helping bereaved children and adolescents: Strategies and implications. Journal of Mental Health Counseling, Alexandria: Vol. 32(3): P.206-218. Samide, L.L & Stockton, R. (2002). Letting go off grief: Bereavement groups for children in the school setting. Journal for specialists in group work. Vol. 27(2): P. 192- 204. Truneckova, D & Viney,L.L. (2008). Small Group Counseling with primary school children. Personal construct theory and practice, Vol. 5(1): p. 139- 145. Worden, J. W. (1996). Children and Grief: When a Parent Dies. New York: Guilford press. Webb, N.B & Doka, K. J. (2010). Helping bereaved children: A handbook for practitioners. New York: Guilford Press. APPENDIX Appendix 1: Permission Letter Subject: To seek permission for conducting grieved children’s group counseling at school. Dear Sir/ Madam, Most respectfully it is stated, that I, being the school counselor have herby designed a plan for group counseling of grieved children in the school between ages 8 and 10 years. The program will only take up two hours per week of the participants and will conclude in one month, with 8 sessions in total. I strongly believe that this program will help the students who have lost a close one cope with their loss better and become adjusted members of the society. Kindly grant me permission to conduct this program in your school. I shall be very thankful to you for this act of kindness. Sincerely, (School Counselor). Dated: Principal’s Signature and Comments: Admin’s Signature: Appendix 2: Brochure Has your child lost a loved one? Is your child weepy and depressed? You don’t know how to make your child smile again? Appendix 3: Incent form for participation INCENT FORM This is to certify that I ________________________, parent/guardian of __________________________________, grade ________, studying at __________________ allow my child to participate in the school’s group counseling for the grieved children program. I will fully cooperate with the counselor during the course of this group therapy and will try my best to be present in the session where parents/guardians will be invited to support the children. Signed: ________________________ Dated: Read More