This Tender Trap Called Marriage - Essay Example

This Tender Trap Called Marriage Three genres have been chosen to show the different views of marriage – a poem “How Do I Love Thee” by Elizabeth Barrett Browning; a short story, “The Story of an hour” by Kate Chopin and a play, “The Sandbox” by Edward Albee. The sources could be considered ideal for purposes of this paper since it is customary to use poetry to declare undying love (which is more often than not the basis for marriage) while short stories and plays lend themselves to the reality of relationships which may be negative. The poem is taken from “Sonnets from the Portugese”, a poetical record of the love story of Elizabeth Barrett Browning and her husband, the poet, Robert Browning. The sonnets rank among the finest love lyrics in the English language. The subject of the sonnets – love and the beloved, their soft music and the occasional graceful turn of phrase earn them an elevated place in English literature. A bit more about the title of the sonnet collection, Mrs. Browning was not Portugese, but she was a pronounced brunette, which is why her husband referred to her as “my little Portugese”. When she compiled her love poems in book form, she remembered the nickname and gave them the title “Sonnets from the Portugese”. One of the sonnets, Sonnet XLIII, often called “How Do I Love Thee” is hereby reproduced: XLIII How do I love thee? Let me count the ways I love thee to the depth and breadth and height My soul can reach when feeling out of sight For the ends of Being and ideal Grace I love thee to the level of every days Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight. I love thee freely, as men strive for Right; I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise. I love with a passion put to use In my old griefs, and with my childhoods faith. I love thee with a love I seemed to lose With my lost saints, I love thee with the breath, Smiles, tears, of all my life! and, if God choose, I shall but love thee better after death. Mrs. Browning’s Sonnet XLIII has been called the greatest love lyric in English and many readers would agree. The spontaneity and extent to which the persona in the poem experiences the emotion of love is very clear and evident from the beginning. In the poem, she expresses the fact that love encompasses her whole being and her whole life. Looking into her biography, the reader discovers that she led an active child’s life until one day, in trying to saddle her pony, she fell and suffered an injury that made her a partial invalid for years. In 1816, however, she married the poet Robert Browning and went with him to live in Florence, Italy, where her health improved and where their only son was born. Apparently, marriage and a more cheerful outlook towards life agreed with her and did her a lot of good. Line 9 of the poem would attest to this: “I love with a passion put to use In my old griefs, and with my childhoods faith.” Not all marriages are as perfect and ecstatic as that of the Brownings. In an analysis of short story that ensues, “Story of an Hour” by Kate Chopin, the negative side of marriage is presented. On the outset, however, the reader is kept guessing (Is the protagonist, Mrs. Mallard, a happily-married woman or not?). The opening paragraph is non-commital although she is introduced a young, attractive woman afflicted with a heart ailment. “She was young, with a fair, calm face, whose lines bespoke repression and even a certain strength. But now there was a dull stare in her eyes, whose gaze was fixed away off yonder on one of those patches of blue sky….” It is not until one reaches the middle of the third paragraph, where the reader gains an inkling into what is going on. “When she abandoned herself, a little whispered word escaped her slightly parted lips. She said it over and over under her breath, ‘free, free, free.’ The vacant stare and the look of terror that had followed it went from her eyes.” The next paragraph (4) clarifies the matter and the reader is surprised to find out that the feeling of terror that engulfs the heroine (Louise) is replaced with joy and one is assured that the cause of it is the death of one close to her, but whose end she welcomes. She exhibits mixed feelings towards this person – “She knew she would weep again when she saw the kind, tender hands folded in death, the face that had never looked sane with love upon her, fixed and gray and dead. But she saw beyond that bitter moment – a long procession of years to come that would belong to her completely, and she opened and spread her arms out to them in welcome.” At this point, one is sure that Louise is a married woman who, realizing that her partner is dead, is suddenly overwhelmed with a sense of freedom from the bondage of her marriage. How different this particular relationship is from that enjoyed by the Brownings who extols that freedom in Line 7 of Sonnet XLIII wherein Mrs. Browning extols freedom thus: “I love thee freely as men strives fro right.” How contrasting the sentiments are as expressed by the protagonists in the short story. Contemplating on the life of widowhood facing her, she analyzes it as follows: “There would be no one to live for during the coming years: she would live for herself. There would be no powerful will bending hers in that blind persistence with which men and women believe they have a right to impose a private will upon a fellow creature.” The short story reveals the joy of Louise in anticipation of happy days to come; “Her fancy was running riot along the days ahead of her. Spring days and summer days and all sorts of days that life might be long. It was only yesterday, she had thought with a shudder that life might be long.” This is in direct contrast to lines 12 and 13 of Browning’s sonnet wherein Elizabeth declares: “I love thee with the breath, smiles and tears of all my life!” In the short story, married love is a paradox, a seeming contradiction. As the title of this entire discussion suggests, marriage is a tender trap. It is tender, true, but it still can be a trap. “A paradox is a seemingly impossible statement that on closer consideration is realized to be true” (Colwell, 1968). The protagonist in the short story says to herself, “And yet she had loved him sometimes. Often she had not. What did it matter. What could love, the unsolved mystery count for..” The short story ends ironically. The doctors diagnosed the woman to have died of a heart attack due to joy at discovering her husband was alive after all. They never considered that she died from the shock that he never figured in any accident and that her days of anticipated freedom would never even begin. When the reader analyzes the situation, he comes to the conclusion that Louise Mallard’s heart ailment may have resulted in part at least from her reaction to her inferior status in a male-dominated society and to a less than ideal marriage. The death of Louise Mallard in “Story of an Hour” evokes varied reactions on the part of the critics. Madonne M. Miner writes that “upon seeing her husband, Louise suffers a heart attack and dies”. Barbara C. Ewell claims that when Louise’s husband appears, “the report of his death a mistake, she drops dead at the sight of him”. The aforesaid critics assume that the sight of Mallard causes the death of Louise. Emily Toth states that Brently “walks in.. the wife’s weak heart fails” yet Chopin’s words in the short story leaves it open to question as to whether Louise actually saw Brently’s return (Cunningham, 2004). There is reason for the reader to believe that Louise does not see him and that the cause of her death lies in the joy which turns out to be more powerful than even Louise herself would deem possible. The resulting emotional stress is the result of a new understanding of her marriage and her supposed freedom from the marriage band. This view makes the irony of the doctor’s conclusion that Louise dies of “the joy that kills” echo in ways that are more complex than a common understanding of it offers. Chopin’s story emerges not just another story, rather as a story portraying the situation of women in the late 19th century American society. The position of women then is described as so bleak – that any attempt to break from the life – denying limitations of patriarchal society is self-destructive in itself. After hearing Brently’s death, Louise leaves her room and descends the stairs. At this point the other characters as well as the reader can only surmise what she feels by noting the “feverish triumph in her eyes” and the way she carries herself “unwittingly like a goddess of Victory.” (Jamil, 2009) There is an ambiguous phrase towards the end of the story, depicting a friend, Richards, as moving in front of Brently “To screen him from the view of his wife”. Most critics are of the belief that Richard moves to screen Louise from viewing the return of her husband. Yet still others carry the notion that Richard moves to screen Brently from viewing the collapse of his wife. Chopin does not elucidate. The end of Chopin’s story may be more radical than Chopin’s critics can allow. As Peggy Skagg opines, Chopin in her fiction associates three qualities with the “full life”: love, place and autonomy. None of these qualities provides a suitable description of Louise’s situation in the moments before she dies (Cunningham, 2004). Mark Cunningham (2004) comments on Chopin’s irony at the end, “It is directed at more than men’s blindness. It also presents a sharp portrait of what a woman will find should she make a strong claim for autonomous selfhood. Should she break free of patriarchal definitions in her own mind, she will find no other social system to accept her, women have been unable to create a system of their own. The female self will have gained autonomy only to find that she has no life to lead” (53). The play in consideration is Edward Albee’s “The Sandbox”. It is approximately 15 minutes long and involves direct address by the actors to the audience, their acknowledgement that they are performers in a play and the offering of cues to the musician. The play received an almost universally negative reception as critics attacked the confusing plot. The protagonist of the play is Grandma, 86 years old, a tiny wizened woman with bright eyes. At the age of 17, she married a farmer who passed away when she was 30. She raised Mommy until the latter grew up to adulthood. Grandma is not at conflict with her family, society and death. The other characters are Mommy, Daddy and the young man who is presented as 25 years of age and good-looking. He is well-built and dressed in a bathing suit. Actually, he is the Angel of Death, performing calisthenics that suggest the beating of wings. Mommy is Grandma’s daughter. She is 55 years old – a well-dressed, imposing woman. After marrying Daddy, she brings her mother from the farm and into their big town house in the city. She gives her mom an army blanket, her own dish, and a nice place under the stove. Daddy is 60 – a small man, grey and thin. He is the rich man that Mommy married. Lastly, comes the Musician. He has no speaking part and must be directed to play his music which continues to do until the play ends. At the start of the play, they Young Man is performing near a sandbox at the beach. Mommy and Daddy have brought Grandma from the city and placed her in the sandbox as they wait nearby in some chairs. Throughout the play, the Young man is very pleasant. He greets the other characters with a smile. Mommy and Daddy ignore Grandma who sheds her childish behavior and starts to speak coherently to the audience (Shuman, 1999). Grandma feels comfortable as she converses with the Young man who treats her like a human being unlike her children do. They simply show, through their actions and dialogue that taking care of her is a chore. Then stage rumbling is heard and Mommy knows that Grandma’s death has come. By daylight, Mommy weeps briefly by the sandbox before exiting with Daddy. Grandma who lies half buried in the sand continues to mock the mourning of her family. Marriage like the one that exists between Mommy who is the bossy type and Daddy who is the opposite, is not conducive to love, respect and care-giving. In this particular case, the relationship between Mommy and Daddy is not the sort that Grandma deserves hence her mocking of their simulated mourning. This is the story of a woman (Grandma) who is at odds with her own family, society and death. Ironically, it is death who turns out to be a friend. As in the case of Louise in “The Story of an Hour”, death comes as a solution to all life’s problems. Conclusion Marriage is a great institution. Without it, the human race would not have began. The mystery is why it does not work for everyone. Definitely it worked for Mr. & Mrs. Browning. The affection between them is evidenced by the lines in Sonnet XLIII and other poems. Such warm feelings are not shown in the marriage of the Mallards and much less so in that of Mommy and Daddy. That the poet Browning took good care of his wife is evidenced by his wife’s improved health and her bearing him a son despite her being a semi-invalid. One cannot say the same for Louise who was left pretty much to herself whenever her husband left her to ply his work. The negative relationship existing between Mommy and Daddy prevented them from extending to Grandma, the car deserving of an aging parent. What then is the secret that may be divulged to those intending to dip their toes in the sea of matrimony or keep afloat while swimming in its waters? Well, to begin with, love plays a major role. The couple must love each other. Friend will do for a starter, but mutual respect is needed. An understanding of the needs of the spouse is also important and, of course, quality time with each other. Neither of the spouses must be diverted of his identity or individuality as the reader presumes happened to Daddy in the “Sandbox” Society in the late 19th century expected women to keep house, cook, bear and rear children and little else. In short, repression of women in a male-dominated society was the order of the day. “The Story of an Hour” trusts that Mrs. Mallard’s husband – perhaps a typical husband of his day – dominated his wife. The bright side, however, in this day and age, there are many other qualities aside from love and autonomous selfhood that are conducive to “full life” expected of marriage. So go ahead! Jump in (the sea of matrimony). The water’s fine! Works Cited Albee, E., “The Sandbox” Browning, E. B., “How Do I Love Thee”, Sonnets from the Portugese Chopin, K., “Story of an Hour” Colwell, C.C., A Student’s Guide to Literature, Simon and Schuster, Inc. , 1968 Cunningham, M., “The Autonomous Female Self And The Death Of Louise Mallard In Kate Chopins Story Of An Hour", English Language Notes, Independent Scholar, September, 2004. Jamil, S., “Emotions In The Story Of An Hour”, Explicator, Heldref Publications, 2009 Shuman, B. The Sixties in America, Salem Press, Inc. 1999. Read More