Importance of Including Young Children in Decision Making - Essay Example

Importance of Including Young Children in Decision Making Parents often think that young children cannot be a part of decision making because they are too young. The truth is that they should have a place in decision making because it helps their self-esteem, helps them find their place in the world and makes them understand that they are a part of the family from the beginning of their small lives. When babies are born they are as happy as they can be depending on how parents treat them. Babies are already trying to communicate with parents and other family members through their cries, eye contact and body movements. Parents who are aware of these issues can begin to interact with their babies from the start. When a child is older, especially when they get to preschool or school age, it is important to begin the process of their decision making by allowing them to make decisions of what they want to wear or about a particular toy they want to use in their play. Another very important aspect of involving children into the decision making process is to help them form secure attachments when they are very young. Secure attachments make a child fell loved and help them to understand that they can talk about anything they need to talk about with a parent. Establishing this type of opportunity when children are young will give them another opportunity to find their place in the family. Decisions making for many things are easy for a parent to involve their child in, but when it comes to something like bedtime the child may not have much of a choice. According to the text book, there are many ways that a parent can work with a child who does not want to go to bed at a certain time. The challenge for parents is that sometimes they are working to get a child to conform to their wishes and the child has no reason to do so. A parent may decide that the child has several options for bedtime that are around the same time. They can then allow the child to pick one of those bedtimes and the child will think they have made their own choice. One of the challenges when a child does not conform or do what a parent says is that the parent may want to use corporal punishment (spanking) for the child. According to the text, this is never a good idea because children can bully other children with hitting, a child is taught to repress strong emotions, smacking can often make defiant or uncooperative behaviour worse and children can become angry and resentful which can change their attitude towards their family members (69). Instead of smacking, many parents use time outs for children and allow them to make the decision to come out of it when they are feeling calmer. They can also use "star charts" which are a form of behavioural modification. When the child does the desired behaviour, the parents give a star on the chart. Often when the child has received star for the entire week they get a small reward. The text says that these are best used in the beginning of a behaviour and they must be sure to understand exactly what behaviour they want their child to perform, in order to get the best results (70). Star charts are effective for those children who also have a conversation with parents about behaviour. Also, children have a say in whether they do the behaviour or not (technically) because parents discuss with them on a daily basis how they did and what they need to improve if anything. Although parents may have a tendency to tell children what they should do, it can work more effectively if they include the child in a conversation about what they think they need to do in order to improve. Family change is another area where it can be difficult to help a child through decision making because there are some choices that they cannot have a say in. As an example, a new child in the family, whether it is a blood relative or an adopted child can cause problems if children are not talked to about it ahead of time. The text says that it is important to let all family members voice their feelings about whatever the change is so that they can This can result in a conversation that is beneficial to all because they have a place to vent their feelings and they are able to see that some family members may feel differently. It is a good idea to make sure that everyone is allowed to have mixed feelings (73). Children sometimes have challenges with understanding the feelings they are having and it is up to parents and teachers to try and find out. There are charts that show emotions and this could be one way that a child is shown how they feel. As an example, they can be asked to show on the chart how they are feeling and the chart has a picture of the emotion. The child can simply point to the face on the chart that shows how they are feeling. Afterwards, parents or teachers can ask the child why they think they are feeling in that way. The text calls this a bit of detective work that is needed in order to look for clues as to why this is happening (75). There are also toys, pictures and the arts that can show a child how they are feeling. Parents must also take time to listen to their children so that they can get the information they need. Alfie Kohn suggests that parents should think about their request in the context of what he calls the 3 Cs: Content, Collaboration and Choice when there is a problem with their child. They should look at the content of the request from the point of view of their child. Whatever the request, it should be something that is reasonable, can the child comply with the request (are they capable?) and it should be compared to what an adult would do in this situation. Collaboration means that that the parent allows the child to have a say in resolving the conflict. Parents will need to explain to the child what the request is and why it is being made, and then guide them towards making a decision. In Choices, the idea is to give them two choices that the parent wants and allow the child to decide between two options. This can give the child a feeling that they have made their own decision (79-80). The reason it is important to help children begin to make their own decisions is that it will give them confidence in their own decision making; this also allows children to take part in decisions that are important to their own lives which will be helpful in the future (80). When a child moves from their home to their school, they are expected to be an individual but also a part of a group. They are expected to conform to the way that the teacher expects and to share with other children. Some teachers understand that when they have assessments in school, it is also important to talk to the individual child to see how they feel about certain things. This can help the people doing the assessment to get a whole picture of the child. Children will also be exposed to children who look differently than they do and this may be a perfect time to teach them to understand these differences. Children make decisions about who to play with and sometimes they would not choose a child who looked different. It is also difficult for children to be heard in school because the emphasis is on conformity and not self expression. For Ryan, the child in the story, school was very difficult because he did not have a say in what he did. Mind Map Children and Decision Making Decision making with parents Decisions that they can make on their own Decisions they cannot make on their own How parents can help them make some decisions Behaviour modification can be a way for children to learn to do certain behaviours Decision making at school Decisions at school are ore difficult because children must conform to everything. It is difficult to be an individual and a part of the group in some schools. Children must learn how to deal with children of different abilities and who show physical differences. Read More