Environmental Analysis of Durham North Carolina - Essay Example

Partner’s Instructions: Using the "Editors Review Sheet" below, review your assigned partners relocation proposal. Editor’s Review Sheet Audience.  Does the proposal clearly address a particular audience?  If not, what can be done to improve the writing in this area? The proposal does not address a particular audience, however with the use of the word “our” it tends to show that it is being addressed to someone within the internal organizational environment. It does not state whether the proposal is being directed toward senior leadership, a specific Vice President, or someone in human relations. It is suggested that a new paragraph be added which identifies the specific individual or group that this should be addressed to. For instance, the introductory paragraph immediately begins talking about Durham rather than identifying the underlying factors for the proposal, such as saying the relocation will save costs, or improve business activities, or streamline distribution. Maybe something like: “This business relocation proposal identifies an environmental analysis of Durham North Carolina which identified this region as the best business opportunity for change initiatives. This will impact our sales and marketing divisions as well as human resources”. This way, it addresses a specific group of people in the firm.       Purpose.  What is the purpose of the proposal?  Is it clearly stated at the beginning of the proposal?  If not, what can be done to improve the writing in this area? The purpose of the proposal is to identify the most appropriate location for business relocation. It suggests the regional attributes which make Durham an inviting relocation area. It is clearly stated in the first paragraph, when it is cited that research suggests several key elements about Durham which support the need to move business there. However, again, it is suggested that some element is added to the first section which highlights the importance of these characteristics to the business, as that is the main reason for relocation efforts.     Message.  Is the message well organized?  Is it well developed with ample use of examples and specific details to support the purpose of writing?  If not, what can be done to improve the writing in this area? The message is very well-organized and visually pleasing. There is a great usage of charts and diagrams which support the main points of the proposal, from quality of life, transportation, and governmental incentive programs. In fact, the visual aspects of this proposal STRONGLY support the premise and purpose of the relocation research project. The main thing missing from this proposal are the impacts to the business from an organizational perspective. It clearly defines Durham and its attributes, but does not (anywhere really) suggest how Durham will impact the internal and external capabilities of the business. Now, this would likely be left up to the writer as to how in-depth the business perspective should be, however if this were to be presented to an executive leader, he or she would likely wonder why specific objectives related to the company are not identified. Will this affect motivation for employees? Will this improve profitability? Will Durham offer opportunities for business expansion, thus improving competitive edge? It may not have been a stern requirement for the assignment, however I think that it is necessary to not only have a whole collection of one statistic after another, but focus some on how the business will serve to benefit by partnering with Durham. The proposal could just have one or two solid paragraphs showing the impact of Durham’s “quality attributes” on the business bottom line. If I were a company leader in charge of approving relocation efforts, I would definitely want to know how the business stands to benefit, rather than just hear a great deal of regional statistical information. Otherwise, this proposal is well-written, well-organized, and full of great supporting information.   Style and Tone.  Are the style and tone appropriate for the audience, purpose, and message?  If not, what can be done to improve the writing in this area? Yes, the purpose of the proposal was to identify regional characteristics of Durham to support relocation efforts and consideration. The initial paragraph suggests that Durham is both diverse and vibrant, and every chart used in the proposal tends to show the positive elements of the city. For instance, diversity is reflected in the ethnographic chart on page 1, diversity is further shown in the climate chart illustrating a wide variety of climatic attributes, and vibrancy is reflected with the citizen-safety chart and the wide variety of cultural activities identified in the second paragraph on page 1. The report is well-structured and well-supported for the message which is intended to be relayed. The point of the proposal is to support Durham, and this project does just that, keeping the tone focused on positive attributes and positive support for the region.     What can you suggest to the writer to make the writing more effective? Provide one or two ideas. The proposal points out the many positive benefits of Durham but does not indicate how the business itself will be affected. For example, the educational credentials of the city are listed, but it doesn’t show how the company will benefit from higher employee education. Thus, I might suggest adding a brief quote or business-related statistic saying something like, “Employees with a more diverse educational background can provide better training, improve research and development, and bring better knowledge to the firm making us more internally capable”. (Or something to that effect). Maybe point out that SAT Performance shows that local graduates are in the higher percentage of skills and training, which might provide the company with a better workforce by which to recruit. That way the audience might be human relations (as one recipient of the proposal) showing that hiring practices will be positively affected by Durham graduates. In the same respect, the proposal highlights consumer safety on page 2, but again maybe something could be added that shows how safety will impact the employees or the business. Maybe cite that a safer business environment leads to less internal expenditures for issues such as worker theft and improves integrity in business. It is only a suggestion, but it would seem to me that the qualities of Durham are widely discussed (which is very well done) without any real mention of the viewpoint of the company and the impact of the region on growth, profitability, or the human equation. I’m not suggesting adding a great deal of info, maybe just a small section which has a subheading like “The Business Perspective” and then adding how all of your Durham attributes will likely impact the organization. Read More