What Is the Role of the Father in a Family - Essay Example

and Section # of What is the role of the father in a family "My father is on the deathbed, doctors diagnosed Cancer. And we all know that it can kill him, there is no other way to escape it except death. I'm 40 year old man, but I still remember when I was 4 year old. My mother use to stay at home and my father go out to work. To me my father was a stranger who comes home in evening and brings a lot of eatables and toys for me. When I grew a bit older I came to know that he is my "dad". I use to share my school events with him, he takes a lot of interest in them. He guided me in my studies, and also in my career. He was happier than ever when Paul born. He used to say me that it was his dream to see his grandchildren. As he is on the deathbed, all I wanted to say him is that "Father I love you, and thank you for all that what you did for us". And this was what I did. I went to him and I said "Father I love you, and thanks for all that what you did for me". At this time we have different types of families in the society. Single career, dual career, married, unmarried and homosexuals. But all these families comprises of children, mother and father. although single mothers are also considered to be a family but actual definition of family isn't completed without father. This shows the importance of father. As father is the root of the family. Or we can say a nuclear of the family. Parents are directly responsible for the righteous rearing of their children, and this responsibility cannot be safely delegated to relatives, friends, neighbors, the school, the church, or the state. [Teachings of Ezra Taft Benson, p.499] (God, Family, Country, pp. 224-25.) As few years back, father's role in family was confined to the one who go out and earn money and mother had to stay at home to take care of children. Fathers usually were not concerned about children's bringing up. Religiously it's appreciated that fathers should pay proper attention to their families and they should never abandoned them just to their mothers. As it's said in Bible: "See, I will send you the prophet Elijah before that great and dreadful day of the LORD comes. He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers; or else I will come and strike the land with a curse." (Mal 4:5-6) One frequently finds thoughts like the following, which are those of Stephen Pasquier: "We should consider our fathers like gods on earth, who were given to us not only to transmit life to us and conserve it, but also to sanctify us by a wise instruction." But now we can see that this traditional father's role is changed. Mother's are in the work force same as fathers, so both of them divided the tasks equally. Fathers are becoming more involved in child care and family as compare to their own fathers. Different schools are offering home classes to boys as well. So that they should face less difficulty in future while dealing with their own kids. Mothers today are giving space to their husband's so that they can give some proper time to their families. They are sacrificing their time with friends to their families. But father's own upbringing also matters in it. If he got a caring father who understands that mother alone cannot take care of family as well as her career. Then of course he can bring up a good family. But if he thinks that his masculinity is affected because of spending time with his children then it can be the other way. Dr. Lawson says what you might guess: "The father's role in the drama between the borderline mother and her child is crucial in determining the outcome for the child." p.178 In regards to a father's duty, President Benson also taught us that: Those in the Book of Mormon who were taught nothing concerning the Lord but only concerning worldly knowledge became a cunning and wicked people (see Mosiah 24:5, 7). All truths are not of the same value. The saving truths of salvation are of greatest worth. These truths the fathers taught plainly, frequently, and fervently. Are we fathers doing likewise (CR October 1985, Ensign 15 [November 1985]: 36.) It is a feeling that we can never forget in our lives. Father urges his children for physical activities that are better for them in their physical as well as mental growth. And the bonding between the kid and the father is unexplainable. Children prefer to play with their fathers more than their mothers may be because of different play styles and games or they could feel more sense of security with their fathers than their mothers. What a beautiful feeling it is!! Instead of going out and to play with the strangers the child can stay with his father, who can easily keep an eye on him and can save him from any danger. Father-daughter relationship is another beautiful part of a women's life, sending time with her father, who is trustworthy and sharing her experiences with him. He can guide her in her relationships as well. Men focus more on their career and personal achievements. Still they are bewildered between their traditional father's role and the 21st century's father's role. The traditional father would never have taken care of his children. A good father needs to have patience and love towards his children. They can have good relations with their family only because of positive relationships. Instead of being bossy and strict at home, a good father should be polite and respectful towards his children. As it's a key to father-son friendship. Fathers can give them a better suggestion on their career selection. He can guide them better on assertiveness and how to achieve their goals in life. He can give them a good advice, giving examples of their own professional life that how things work in real world. Father is a role model for his children. Whether son or daughter. Son wants to be like him. He follows him all the time and tries to do the things that he is doing, tries to dress up like him. Fathers are good than mothers to control their boys. And also to tell them about good and bad. Boys listen their fathers more carefully than their mothers. They are more cautious of their fathers than their mothers. The violence that we are having in our society nowadays is due to the lack of this father-son relationship. But now as fathers are getting more responsible towards their families it seems that future isn't so bad. And daughter loves her father. Her ideal is her father. By father-daughter relationship, she understands the men and likes to have a husband like her father. Gender differences in Parenting: Although the gender differencing in parenting are never supported by researchers, but still we believe that the whole family can be called a family only when we have children, mother and Father as well. Children having their fathers by their side perform well in studies as well as in extra curricular activities. Results: Father's involvement in family bears some really good results. Children of these fathers are good at academics and they get proper guidance in their subjects and career selection as well. Children that are neglected by their fathers usually show poor results and hardly go for education in college. When father is not giving proper attention to his family, children think of them equals to their parents. They respect neither their mothers nor their fathers. The harmony, equilibrium and the beauty of the home is disturbed. And no one can be called the authority, no one is nucleus or the center of the family. Child's rebellious nature can only be controlled by his father. Father-son or father-daughter relationship is like a friendship or a bond between them. He can guide them throughout his life and not only this, he is actually preparing them to be a father or a mother. Who in future must do the same with their family and children. As Charles de Ribbe said once ""If we return authority to the father, we will restore the ministry of God in the temporal order . The more time that passes, the more we become aware that it is necessary to return to the family its autonomy. It is impossible to constitute good governments with men given up to error. In the sad state in which we find ourselves, salvation can only come from that unique authority, which, by virtue of natural law, remains devoted to its subordinates. Only paternal authority can accomplish that which is superior to the force of any public authority". Works Cited Robert Alan Lewis. Men's changing Role in the Family: Haworth Press , Published 1986 Edited by Michael E. Lamb, The Role of the Father in Child Development: John Wiley and Sons, Published 2004 Michael E. Lamb , The Father's Role: Cross-Cultural Perspectives: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates , Published 1987 Pauline Boss, Sourcebook of Family Theories and Methods, Springer, Published 1993 Read More