Interpersonal Relationships that Detract from a University Student's Achievement - Essay Example

Interpersonal Relationships that Detract from a Achievement A wide variety of daily challenges face in the form of writing essays, term papers, and studying for tests. Meeting a variety of relentless deadlines over an ever-changing schedule requires an ongoing juggling of priorities. Everyday, students must choose between socializing and homework. Many students are not equipped to make these decisions upon entering college and must gain the necessary skills to do so in order to pass their classes. Problems often come unintentionally from relationships with those who are closest to the student. Making a choice between spending time with friends, roommates, significant others, and family can often be too much. Often students may choose to please people in their immediate environment rather than completing assignments. Possible consequences include lower grades, increased stress and overall dissatisfaction with one's own academic achievement. The question arises as to how these interpersonal relationships can compromise a student's scholastic priorities. This paper will detail the effect these pressures have on academic performance and highlight some of the ways students have found to overcome these hurdles. The data supporting these claims was drawn from a set of twenty interviews conducted to ascertain a student's ability to cope to university life. The focus of these conversations was on how students combine academic and non-academic priorities to gain a balance between scholastic demands and non-academic requests for his time. The interview was conducted in a question and answer format with the questions. The questions from each interview contained strong similarities although not exactly alike. The subjects of the interviews were undergraduate students either majoring in or having a strong interest in Sociology or Child and Youth Studies. Many students have an additional minor relative to their proposed career upon graduating but the primary emphasis of students queried fell in one of these two fields. All conclusions reached in this study were arrived at by analyzing each case point by point in an exhaustive examination of files. The files contained quotes from both interviewer and students recorded exactly as spoken. Files scrutinized include students who have adapted well to external social pressures as well as those who haven't. This paper does not assume that the daily life of a student should be all work and no play. Rather, the author believes a student's university experience should also be enjoyable. Satisfaction in a student experience is directly correlated with their ability to balance studying with socializing. For example, as one student said, she wants "to find time to spend time with friends and my boyfriend but school is more important to me than these other responsibilities (Trina, 75). The most obvious diversions students face come from friends. Though well-meaning, friends may exert pressure on the student to neglect assignments. Different course schedules cause a student's deadlines to vary from that of his friends. This naturally results in conflicts between the student's free time and that of his peers. "I mean, everyone's been in that situation where all their friends are leaving to go to the bar and you feel like you're chained to your desk writing an essay" (Elizabeth, 101). Often the student is unable to resist the urge to please their friends. The dilemma faced is described as "going out, that's a big thing so far, and like, I find that I cave in a lot, too, to people" (Marta, 234). Rejecting social invitations too many times can cause a student to be perceived as a loner or asocial. Eventually the student may not be invited anymore. University students for the most part are not that removed from high school. The herd mentality of that age creates a desire to belong that makes them susceptible to placing studies on the back burner. They may not have developed the ability to say no. Socializing in the form of partying can indirectly complicates a student's academic performance. "I think most University students tend to go out late and sleep in late" (Sarah, 410). Poor study habits in the form of procrastination, skipping classes, or cramming for tests can result from staying out late and drinking too much alcohol. Gaining an education for most students requires one to be in the best mental shape possible. Being tired or hung over can not help the student's ability to function. Consequences of excessive partying can be even more destructive than merely lowered grades. One student says about priorities, "if you take your academic ones in stride and you start to end up with two non-academic ones, you could find yourself in academic probation" (Phil, 177). Friends who are also roommates can present additional difficulties. Besides the many times a student is made to feel awful if they do not participate in outings, additional situations exist where a student will be distracted from their studies. Often "they just stay home and watch movies and like make hamburgers and that's their life" (Orange, 266). The student may be required to participate just to keep from being regarded as an outsider in their own home. Housemates who may or may not be personal friends of the student may play loud late night noise. This may impair the student's ability to perform the next day. "Morning classes are horrible for me, especially because I live in the basement and my roommates are really really loud. I mean half the time I have to wear earplugs 'cause they're night people, they go to bed at like 3, 4 in the morning" (Marta, 206). One student describes her experience with roommates as "They are the most stressful thing ever" (Orange, 209). The subject of living with other students also includes the case of those who choose to live in residence halls. The non-stop partying found in so many dorms will often make it hard to stay focused on one's academic goals. One student claims "if they wanna live on residence or (not) live off of campus then you have to be like a really strong willed person to do it, because I did it and I tried it and it didn't work" (Theresa, 393). Some students wrestle with a much stronger commitment than that of friends or roommates. A relationship with a significant other makes demands on the student which are much harder to ignore. A student states "relationships play a huge part in how your going to perform academically," (June, 89). A romantic relationship requires spending considerable time with a partner. "My girlfriend takes a lot, like, she demands a lot of time and sometimes I'd like to devote a little more time to school work" (Ricky, 150). The necessity to exert substantial emotional energy in a relationship is another factor. Relationships with significant others can also be constructive. Many partners are supportive by understanding the importance of school to their significant other. However, often school strains the relationship so much both the relationship and one's academics are compromised. From one student's experience "when it comes to a more personal relationship I found that this is the first year I haven('t) been attached to someone emotionally, so I've been able to fully concentrate on work" (June, 92). Family members are oftentimes the best friends a student can have. Usually family members are supportive and an asset for the student. However, in certain cases family might actually hamper the student's academic progress. For example, one student feels like the pressure exerted on her by her family reduces her effectiveness as a student. "My family is putting, well my mom especially, is putting a lot of pressure on me to do well. Health wise, yeah, I am dealing with some health issues, like mental issues." (Lem, 165). These kinds of pressures can be detrimental to a student's state of mind as they attempt to manage the rigors of university life. A student needs to be in their best frame of mind to handle these constant daily trials. Time commitments due to special family circumstances can also disrupt a student's schedule. "As far as family pressures my sister is a single mom. So she's really dependant on me to help her out with her son" (Missy, 98). Being away from family can manifest itself in the form of emotional distress on a student. Holidays can be extremely painful for the them. "So I kinda felt that during that time especially that Christmas is around the corner, you haven't (incoherent) plus your whole family is getting together, like you just feel like you just, it's hard, like you don't um, you um, you feel like you are being left out" (Theresa, 324). Students may also miss out on family gatherings such as birthdays, weddings, or funerals. Family relationships form the strongest bonds a student is likely to have. Those who are closest to one have the greatest influence over the student. If the relationship is detrimental to obtaining academic achievement, the effect can be substantial. Family members are unlikely to present a problem for most students, but in certain situations they may detract from the student's efforts. Much light can be shed on the issue of managing academic obligations by considering students who partied their first year and then were compelled by poor marks to become more serious students. "When I started seeing my marks the first year. I knew I needed to make a change for the second year" (Trina, 95). They were forced to become more committed and to give their study habits a second look. "I found first year I didn't have many priorities; it was just sort of whereas everyone parties at night and worried about classes later. I found that it was second year that I matured, by not going out as much during the week and doing more work actually" (Phil, 82). Mastering new study habits enabled some students to acclimate to a higher level of success. "Yeah, I know how to time manage now" says one student (Marta, 302). Use of a day timer to record deadlines, employing white boards for keeping track of assignments, and learning to prioritize are among the many techniques they used to improve their efficiency. Success at university should not be measured just in terms of high grades. Receiving high marks should be combined with experiencing a certain amount of fun through socialization. The solution lies in achieving a balance between academics and interpersonal relationships. "I mean, you'll always have conflicts right Places where you want so bad to go to the bar with your friends but you put that essay off until the last possible second so you can't go out! It's just a matter of reminding yourself why you're here and what you need to do to get the grades you want" (Elizabeth, 164). Socializing is not bad. It is just that placing socialization as a priority over scholastic obligations has the potential to result in a loss of an opportunity that usually only occurs once in a lifetime. A sense of disappointment on the part of the student as well as guilt over not reaching their potential can diminish the student's satisfaction with the job they have done. Advice offered to new students by a seasoned veteran was "to know that this is two years of your life, three or four years of your life it is not that much of your life you can party the rest of your life if you want, so just get it done and of course the times you do have off enjoy that time, enjoy the experience of university" (Jackie, 245). In the worst case, flunking out results in a loss of confidence and self-esteem. The student can end up with guilt that will carry over throughout the student's lifetime. Tension at home with family members is the end product of this tragedy. If one's parents are paying substantial tuition for their child to go to college, they are not going to be happy to see it go for naught. Negative social influences in the form of friends, roommates, significant others and family members exist as hidden obstacles to a student's success. Though these people may mean well, their actions often diminish a student's ability to perform. Each category of interpersonal relationships above carries its own unique set of challenges for the student to overcome. Although not always thought of as hindrance to a successful university career, they often present the student with major trials. Whether a student succeeds or not depends as much on their time management skills as it does on their ability. How to make the best use of one's time is something that many students do not possess upon entering school. It must be learned. Giving in to social pressures may result in a serious decline in a student's performance. The desire to belong to a group of friends being often coupled with a lack of the ability to say no can play havoc in a student's career. Assertiveness skills need to be acquired in this case. Impediments from the important people in a student's life don't often come to mind as threats to academic achievement. However interpersonal relationships can compromise a student's scholastic priorities. Problems often come unintentionally from relationships with those who are closest to the student. However, a determined student can prevail if he rededicates himself and adopts new study habits. One must learn when the time is right to socialize and when to buckle down and study. Read More