To a Sad Daughter - Essay Example

“To a Sad Daughter” When most people think about poetry, they tend to either think of the mushy love stuff loosely linked to Shakespeare in their minds or of the quick little rhymes they find in greeting cards. At least, this was my impression of it before really reading any. Given an academic schedule to follow and exposure to different types of poetry has opened my eyes to just how much I didn’t know about this form of literature. Not only are poems written about things other than love, but they are full of meanings I had never considered before. Before reading a great deal of poetry, I also had the idea that poems that did not rhyme should not be considered ‘poetry’ and that they were academically too complicated to be interesting to an average kind of person like me. Actually reading poems, such as Michael Ondaatje’s “To a Sad Daughter,” and thinking about them a little bit makes me realize the tremendous emotional impact a poem can have. While this probably gave rise to their use in greeting cards, it must be said that this use has profoundly lessened the public concept of poetry’s importance, at least in my case. Although Ondaatje’s poem “To a Sad Daughter” doesn’t provide an easy rhyme or rhythm pattern, a brief understanding of the movement of the poem shows how his poem is made incredibly expressive in the imagery he uses and the emotional appeals he makes to an absent child. The poem is addressed from the author to a daughter who is not present in the physical space of the poem. It starts with the father talking seemingly directly to his daughter as he refers to the posters on her wall: “All night long the hockey pictures / gaze down at you / sleeping in your tracksuit” (1-3). Through the entire first stanza, he talks about his daughter’s interest in the sport of hockey and how she is very athletic herself. Her interest in the blood of the sport seems too masculine and her avid reading of the sports page at breakfast recalls the traditional image of the father and son at breakfast rather than father and daughter. This is surprising to him because “When I thought of daughters / I wasn’t expecting this” (12-13), indicating a traditional view of daughters was also held by this man until his daughter began expressing her own interests. Between her interest in sports and her “purple moods / when you retreat from everyone / to sit in bed under a quilt” (16-18), she doesn’t seem to live up at all to the expectations he had for her and even refers to them in an earlier line as her ‘faults’ (15). While this may seem harsh at first, it is mostly because the first impression received of this girl is that she is perhaps still very young. This is assumed because of her love of sports and her tendency to sleep in her workout clothes. However, the father’s language to her, including his reference to her ‘purple moods’, suggests an age old enough to understand the description and the distinctions he’s making. When he says her purple moods and her interest in hockey are faults, he only means they are not consistent with his ideas of what a girl should be. To make sure this is clear, the speaker points out how he really loves these little diversions from his expectations and begins to try to put the idea in her terms. “And when I say ‘like’ / I mean of course ‘love’ / but that embarrasses you” (19-21). He moves the conversation into her experience by remembering how he had to coax her for hours to watch a black and white movie and then she was touched by the film. By the third stanza, this incidental moment in their shared life together has morphed into a word of advice that she should remember to keep her mind open to new experiences “For if you close your ears / Only nothing happens. You will never change” (29-30). However, again, the advice is kept within the realm of their shared experience by placing him within the role of the creature from the Black Lagoon. “One day I’ll come swimming / beside your ship or someone will / and if you hear the siren / listen to it” (26-29). Far from telling her to always play things safe, he is urging her to take her risks but to take them with her eyes open to the possibilities in front of her rather than the expectations she might have held for something else. This advice is carried through the fourth and fifth stanzas, too, as he keeps trying to tell her that it’s important to take risks and to experiment, “ride / the ceremonies / until they grow dark” (41-43). By using imagery such as ‘angry goalies’, ‘creatures with webbed feet’ and ‘ceremonies’, he is using his daughter’s definitions of excitement and adventure to create an image of life as an exciting and wonderful thing to experience regardless of the outcome. Many of these ideas are far too sophisticated for a young girl, which serves to unconsciously shift the reader’s perspective regarding the probable age range of this child. She has to be at least in her teens in order to understand these concepts, but she hasn’t yet interrupted, which indicates she is not an adult either to sit so patiently through these seemingly wandering thoughts. It isn’t until the fifth stanza that it is made clear that the daughter is 16 years old now and that the father doesn’t actually feel all that comfortable about giving advice. He indicates he is simply human as he tells her things like “I’d rather be your closest friend / than your father” (40) and admits, in the sixth stanza, that “sometimes I’ve gone / into my purple world / and lost you” (48-50). The ‘purple mood’ of the poem comes mostly out of this stanza as the father talks about how the daughter is slowly disappearing from the house as she becomes “so busy / discovering your friends” (44-45) and each are wrapped up in their own feelings of loss. It is only at this point in the poem when it becomes clear that the daughter isn’t actually listening to this ‘lecture’ as it’s being delivered, but will presumably receive it in a letter at some future date. The father is sitting in her room, at her desk, and writing the poem where she usually sits to do her homework, which is made clear when he tells her, “You were sitting / at the desk where I now write this” (52-53). Her absence helps to highlight the sadness of the title and of the father as he thinks about how the outer world is calling her to join it and leave him behind. He uses wonderful imagery to present this idea, talking about how “sun spilled over you / like a thick yellow miracle / as if another planet / was coaxing you out of the house / – all those possible worlds! –“ (55-59). Even though he would “sell my arms for you / hold your secrets forever” (70-71), he understands that his greatest dreams for her can only be accomplished by their separation. While this makes him very sad, he points out how it also makes him very glad for her and her future life. The poem ends with him talking about death and how it is just another part of life like what she’s doing now. While she fears death now, he points out that by keeping an open mind toward the possibilities, she may eventually come to the understanding that death may be simply the same type of stepping into the golden sunshine that she is doing now on the physical plane. “Don’t recall graves. / Memory is permanent. / Remember the afternoon’s / yellow suburban annunciation” (78-81). Again he advises her to keep an open mind about it and to remember to always enjoy life because one can never be sure how things are seen by someone else. Although he is very frightening looking, the father reminds his daughter that the “goalie / in his frightening mask / dreams perhaps / of gentleness” (82-85). Again, this imagery can relate back to the father, although it is not done explicitly in the poem. While he seems to be the frightening goalie at the house, forbidding, strict perhaps and seen as a guard against her escaping through the door (goal), this is merely a mask for him as the father really wishes to be a close friend. Because the daughter is not actually present within the space of the poem, it is difficult to relate the sadness too much to her character. The father himself provides an image of an athletic, outgoing girl who has a busy social life, is reasonably accomplished in her academic subjects and who has an outwardly pleasant life with her own room, a desk before a window filled with flowers and a bed with a quilt to crawl under when she’s feeling down. However, it is possible for a teenager to seem outwardly happy and to be inwardly miserable as they realize everything in their life is changing. Perhaps it is this element of her character that the father is addressing. However, he also makes it very clear that he is also feeling a great deal of sadness and loss as she begins to go through these changes. He feels there is a gulf widening between them as she begins to see everything important to him as somehow beneath her aesthetic tastes, like the black and white movies, while he understands she is closing herself off to the experiences his generation or future generations might have to offer. Far from wanting to restrict her access to the world, which is evidently how she somewhat envisions him, the father or goalie at the door, really wants her to be able to open her eyes, her mind and her heart to the joys that life has to offer and to always reach for the brass ring. Works Cited Ondaatje, Michael. “To a Sad Daughter.” The Cinnamon Peeler. New York: Vintage Press, 1997: 159. Read More

This is assumed because of her love of sports and her tendency to sleep in her workout clothes. However, the father’s language to her, including his reference to her ‘purple moods’, suggests an age old enough to understand the description and the distinctions he’s making. When he says her purple moods and her interest in hockey are faults, he only means they are not consistent with his ideas of what a girl should be. To make sure this is clear, the speaker points out how he really loves these little diversions from his expectations and begins to try to put the idea in her terms.

“And when I say ‘like’ / I mean of course ‘love’ / but that embarrasses you” (19-21). He moves the conversation into her experience by remembering how he had to coax her for hours to watch a black and white movie and then she was touched by the film. By the third stanza, this incidental moment in their shared life together has morphed into a word of advice that she should remember to keep her mind open to new experiences “For if you close your ears / Only nothing happens. You will never change” (29-30).

However, again, the advice is kept within the realm of their shared experience by placing him within the role of the creature from the Black Lagoon. “One day I’ll come swimming / beside your ship or someone will / and if you hear the siren / listen to it” (26-29). Far from telling her to always play things safe, he is urging her to take her risks but to take them with her eyes open to the possibilities in front of her rather than the expectations she might have held for something else.

This advice is carried through the fourth and fifth stanzas, too, as he keeps trying to tell her that it’s important to take risks and to experiment, “ride / the ceremonies / until they grow dark” (41-43). By using imagery such as ‘angry goalies’, ‘creatures with webbed feet’ and ‘ceremonies’, he is using his daughter’s definitions of excitement and adventure to create an image of life as an exciting and wonderful thing to experience regardless of the outcome. Many of these ideas are far too sophisticated for a young girl, which serves to unconsciously shift the reader’s perspective regarding the probable age range of this child.

She has to be at least in her teens in order to understand these concepts, but she hasn’t yet interrupted, which indicates she is not an adult either to sit so patiently through these seemingly wandering thoughts. It isn’t until the fifth stanza that it is made clear that the daughter is 16 years old now and that the father doesn’t actually feel all that comfortable about giving advice. He indicates he is simply human as he tells her things like “I’d rather be your closest friend / than your father” (40) and admits, in the sixth stanza, that “sometimes I’ve gone / into my purple world / and lost you” (48-50).

The ‘purple mood’ of the poem comes mostly out of this stanza as the father talks about how the daughter is slowly disappearing from the house as she becomes “so busy / discovering your friends” (44-45) and each are wrapped up in their own feelings of loss. It is only at this point in the poem when it becomes clear that the daughter isn’t actually listening to this ‘lecture’ as it’s being delivered, but will presumably receive it in a letter at some future date. The father is sitting in her room, at her desk, and writing the poem where she usually sits to do her homework, which is made clear when he tells her, “You were sitting / at the desk where I now write this” (52-53).

Her absence helps to highlight the sadness of the title and of the father as he thinks about how the outer world is calling her to join it and leave him behind. He uses wonderful imagery to present this idea, talking about how “sun spilled over you / like a thick yellow miracle / as if another planet / was coaxing you out of the house / – all those possible worlds!

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