The First Agreement: Be Impeccable with Your Word - Book Report/Review Example

A Book report on the Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz Introduction The premise behind this book is extremely simple. But in this simpli Miguel Ruizshares with us some very profound truths. What he shares with us, is that God is manifested in all of us and all of creation but we are unable to access it by our own self created obstacles. The metaphor of smoke and mirrors is used. This term is often used to describe illusion and deception. But here there is self deception; we fail to see ourselves as we truly are because of this smoke. The concept of dreams is explored in a very unique manner. Dreams signify freedom. But our dreams are hardly unfettered, they are bound by the collective dreams of the family, country and religion and in the end most of us are domesticated like the animals we know, doing a lot of activities, without quite knowing why we are doing it. Theme of the Book The general Theme of the Book is that most of the Truths in life are self evident and simple. We are unable to get to them because we create chaos and muddy the picture. Most of the solutions to various problems are within us. Also most of the problems are created by us too. The simple underlying fact of the book is that if we can make some simple but very substantive agreements with ourselves, we most certainly be more enlightened and bring happiness to ourselves and others. The First Agreement: Be Impeccable with Your Word In this first of agreements, the focus is on one thing. It is one's word. Miguel Ruiz shows us that it is something which is very powerful and cannot be trifled with. The word is more than just an utterance. Indeed Bible has put the Word before everything1. Of course there it meant the eternal word of God. But even our words though at a lot lower level , still have a tremendous amount of power. It is who you are and what you feel. It is how you impact this world. Words have the power to create great good as it can create great evil. Miguel uses Hitler's rise as an example of how somebody's words caused not only to his country but to the World. Miguel likens the spoken word to a spell. And indeed words have the innate power to become self fulfilling prophecies. What one says, many times one believes, but it is more than that. The people who listen to us and respect us believe us when we say something. A word said in anger or frustration can have a life long impact on a child. But what does impeccability mean. Though it literally translates as being without sin, what Miguel means by it is word said without judgment and without anger. And the judgment has to be said aside not just for others but for oneself too. Miguel does say that even if caustic words are said about others by you, you are only reflecting on yourself. Though you cause damage to others by use of such words, you cause similar if not more damage to yourself. By doing that. Words are never spoken in vacuum. Indeed if you say a word in anger, they most likely will respond back with a word of anger. But a word of love and kindness will get back the same response. Miguel uses a phrase over here called "emotional poison". It is difficult not to notice, how drained we are after an argument or after loosing our temper, and there is an opposite feeling after pleasant words full of love and kindness have been uttered. By an extension of this gossiping is the vilest form of poison. It obviously hurts its intended target, but if you are a part of it, it can cause intense damage to you, even if it is totally un true. Poison once mixed in water will mix through and everybody who drinks it will suffer from it. Miguel likens gossip to a computer virus, a small entity but with a potential of very large damage. What words you speak create a fertile environment for similar thoughts in your mind. A person constantly using impeccable words will always have a mind free of emotional poison. The Second Agreement Don't Take Anything Personally The second agreement presents a very interesting argument. Do not take anything personally. Indeed, even if somebody puts a gun to your head and blows your brain out, don't take it personally. While most of us think that would be a tad bit extreme, there is a point to it. Our mind has a way of taking what everybody (including ourselves) say about us and believing it. And not only believing, but usually making it come true. What Miguel says, is that most people generally say something which reflects their own situation, perhaps their own frustrations. Anything addressed to you is incidental because you just happened to be there. Believing them gives them an authority over an area which they probably don't know a whole lot about and that is you. This agreement is like armor against the words of people which might not be impeccable as in the last agreement. You need your words to be impeccable but you also want to make sure that you are protected against words that are not. You need to understood that most people don't think about you but more about themselves.2 So when they something to you , whether positive or negative , it is most likely a reflection on their own internal feelings at that time . It is very rarely a reflection on you.3 But this is not just for negative words and while positive words should be appreciated , it is to be understood that the person saying anything about knows just about the same amount of your positive qualities as your negative qualities. The greatest impact of not taking anything personally is a life lived without any emotional poison like jealousy anger and sadness. But does it not take away the positive attributes of emotions as well. If somebody says they loved you and they meant it, should you be impersonal about that. And that is where this makes the most sense. You already know your positive attributes and of the ones you care about. There is not a need to emphasize it. The feeling remains. The words can make it or more or less than what it is and that is why it should not be taken personally. The element of trust also comes into picture. While it is important to let people you believe them and love them, it is equally important that the burden of decisions remain with you and should not be transferred on to their spoken word. The Third Agreement Don't Make Assumptions Most of us already know that assumptions are a bad thing. In fact there is a saying in business circles from a long time which basically means that how assuming makes one look very foolish. But in this case assumption means more than that. It is having preconceived notions about what we think of others and what we think of them. There is an old joke about a car with a flat tire on a highway in the middle of the night. The driver of the car does not have a jack and decides to walk to the nearest farm house to borrow a jack. And as he is walking, he keeps on imagining how upset the farmer would be at being woken up in the middle of the night and in each imagination, the exchange of words is worse. The driver is so angry by the time he gets to the house that as soon as the farmer opens the door, the drivers just yells at the farmer to keep his jack, because the driver did not need it. Though the story is funny it has a clear point in itself. Deal with realities and do not be a prisoner of your assumptions. Assumptions are also important in love. We often love with rose colored glasses on. We assume that the one we love also has the same world view that we do. And indeed if there are any characteristics in the one we love which don't like or don't want we assume that we will "fix it" and certain point. It is important that you love the person who you live as is, with their shortcomings. There was this person who was in a long distance relationship and his girl friend would not move, giving one reason or the other and this person would go through very convoluted reasoning to justify that she loved him. But if he took the rose colored glasses of his assumptions off, he would find out that was not the case at all. If you need to find so many reasons to explain everything, that is not love. Indeed you should retain the right to say no, just as everybody should, but it is even more important to ask the questions. Many people just would not ask the questions because they are afraid what the answer would be. The Fourth Agreement Always Do Your Best This seems fairly straight forward. Should not always one do his or her best But after reading this chapter in the book, it becomes even clearer what doing your best is. It is doing it as good as you can do it and not more than that. If you make an effort which is more than what is your best, you will make errors and the end result will be sub optimal. But if you make an effort which is less than your best than there is a chance that you would regret it. The concept of doing something without expecting rewards is a radical concept. Perhaps not radical as in new, since these wise words have existed since a long time "If you like what you do, you will never have to work a day in your life". But what is radical is that people actually doing that. Working so hard for nothing than the joy of a work well done, this has multiple effects, it could definitely make it that nobody judges you, but more than that, it leaves you free from judging yourself. Because nobody can to better than doing their best and as a result the emotional poison of guilt is neutralized. Doing your best, also means living in the present fully knowing what you can and can't do and not try to make a past dream come to life. Many a people try to undo a past loss. But it is not necessary. Live in the present. A student in a class pleads his professor to accept his assignment two weeks late. The Professor rightly declines, saying it would be unfair to the other students in the class. But what is more important , the professor says that if the student submits all his assignments from now on , he would catch up ,perhaps not get an A but would get a decent grade. All the time the student spent in doing the past due assignment was a wasted effort and as it turns out was not even necessary. Trying to relive the past or undo it is a futile and a wasted effort. The focus should always be on giving 100% in the present. Doing your best is not a one time thing; it means that it needs to be done all the time. Every time you do any action it has to be your best. Indeed these four agreements have to be done as best as you can. Any time there is an effort which needs to be made, it should be any less than your best. Doing anything less than your best in a way presents a dishonor to God from you. God has given you talent and asks you to its optimum, and you cannot use this talent at any lower level than your best intensity. Breaking Old Agreements These four agreements while simple would have a radical effect on anybody's life who implements it. But it would be nave to think that these agreements will come into place in a vacuum. Most of us have hundreds if not thousands of agreements already in place. We have numerous assumptions about numerous things. It is hard for us to be impeccable in our words, because in moment of frustration and anger we utter words which spread emotional poison. We do not do our best all the time, because many times we do not feel up to it. We take everything personally even though we know that most of the things are not directed to us at all. What Miguel suggests is that adapting the four agreements will not be a walk in the park .In fact it will be more like war But in words of another Author , you are a warrior of light4 , you are equipped for this War.. Your old self will fight to keep the old agreements. It has to be a sustained effort with discipline which will get to where you need to be. One needs the discipline of the warrior to implement the four rules. There are a few other things which are important here as well. One of them is forgiveness. It is impossible to implement the four agreements without forgiving yourself and others for what you think are past misdeeds. The judge and the victim are a constant part of you and neither can do without the countless agreements which have been part of you for a long time. Conclusion: Though the concept of living everyday as it is your last is an old. The four agreements bring a new perspective to it. Everybody has to die at some point. But if you are at peace with yourself and that you are doing maximum good for everybody every day, when that time comes you leave a satisfied person with no regrets. This perspective on death is perhaps critical in living the life to its fullest. Read More