Parenting Strategies - Essay Example

Parenting Strategies Isha Jindal Parenting, as the words say, is not a painless job. Parents have to sacrifice their gratifications and comforts tolet their baby be a disciplined and a good citizen who will respect them, accomplish the heights in his/her life, will not fall into any bad company, blot their name and respect or so .Gone are the days when the parents would say, “our kid is so intelligent…” or “I‘ve tried all, but he is just impossible.” Today these excuses will not go.

If the baby is flawed, it would not be the slip of the child, rather that of the parents. Charles has well said the situation; “All parents want their children to learn and behave acceptably in school…Of course there is a difference between saying you care and really caring.” (Charles, P.185). Leo Canter and Marlene Canter have discussed such a universal problem of parents in their book Assertive Discipline for Parents. The book helps the parents discussing the following issues: How to communicate effectively with your child How and when to show positive attitude to the child How to avoid your child’s mistakes and try to improve him/her How to improve on your child’s misbehavior of threatening , anger or irritation How to socialize the child Different situations for various conditions The Canters have, primarily, stressed out the importance of assertive communication.

Keeping a positive attitude and assertive communication can do wonder what your threats or reprimand fails to do. Parents, according to the Canters, should convey their “expectations clearly and positively” (Canter, 2001, P.7). Parents should “take control in a calm yet forceful way” (Moore, 2009, p. 367). The Canters have strained some clues for parents- always have a smile on face; good, infect, positive body language; friendly gestures; positive response; appraisal techniques should be implied whenever needed.

Canters have given the worksheets at the end of their book for a practical to the parents. In this way, they may choose the better way for their child. The book is full of dialogues and multiple of situations that may be between parents and their children. What Canters have stated is quite helpful to parents in various forms. Many a times children make their parents feel helpless and low with their reactions. To answer these, parents would either beat their child or put him/her in boarding. These are the worst cases that one can have ever regarding their child.

As far as my case is concerned, I agree with the Canters in the lot of cases. Firstly, I would like to talk to my baby very patiently and would try my best to get the best out of her; but if she would say no to my consistent efforts, I would, surely, adopt the Canters’ way of being bossy. Time is tough nowadays. If you would try to be bossy on the child, he/she may take some unwanted steps. Most of the times I would prefer to have her her ways, only if they are least harmful and objectionable.

I consider that if the child is left to his/her own ways; he/she can grow up in a better human being with creative mind. It’s the duty of the parents to keep a check on the activities of their kid, not like what Canters have stated: “When you are assertive, you clearly and firmly communicate to your children that what you say is what you mean.” (Canters, 2001. P.15). Sometimes, parents have to be liberal and understand what their baby wants from them. Doing this, I don’t think, parents would spoil their child, infect, they would be closer to the younger one.

I have seen many parents having a friendly relation with their children, where they understand one another in a better way. The parents are least strict; but their effective communication has always kept them close to their children. I know the worst cases; where the parents are quite strict to their child’s what, when and whereabouts. In most cases, their child would fall into a bad company or would start lying to his/her parents. Separating the child or laying up the laws will be good in certain cases, only if these are used rarely.

I am fully convinced with the Canters’ stressing the importance of nonverbal techniques. I would never use harsh or rude gestures or expression the whole day. Their occurrence would be once a day or twice in three days. I believe: as frequently I would use such a body language, that much ineffective it will be. As a mother, I feel that children need the one who cares for them and know their needs. They want all the love, concern and reliability in their lives. A child can be regulated with a system, but these regulations can’t work upon a grown up and already tough child.

Only the love and concern of the parents can perk up him/her. Parenting needs no strategies; but the smooth flow of love and affection of parents that only parents can bestow upon their child. References 1. Canter, L. & Canter, M. (2001). Assertive discipline: positive behavior management for today’s classroom. Los Angeles, CA: Canter & Associates. 2. Canter, L. & Canter, M. (2001). Assertive Discipline For Parents. New York, Harper &Row Publishers, Inc. 3. Charles, C. M. (1985). Building Classroom Discipline.

New York, Longman. 4. Moore, K.D. (2009). Effective instructional strategies: from theory to practice. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage Publications, Inc.