Marriage Definition - Term Paper Example

Marriage definition: Marriage is a social, cultural or legally accepted or union that human beings form toestablish rights and responsibility. It is usually done to form a family normally between two dating couples. It is sometimes referred to as matrimony or the wedlock because it describes what is expected of both spouses in regards to respect for their spouse, their in-laws and their children.Marriage therefore is a social institutions which defines your relationship with other people as seen above. It is also defined as an interpersonal relationship usually sexual in nature and supported by its institutionalization and acceptance by the society as a whole. Sex in some cultures is therefore restricted to marriage and it is for this reason that it is considered a sacred institution especially so in the African context. In religion at times it is called holy matrimony because it is sacred to believers. It is important to understand the universality of this institution as it cuts across, ethnic and cultural boundaries, geographical boundaries, and linguistic boundaries. All communities around the world therefore recognize the institution of marriage. There are various types of marriages recognized by various legal systems be they traditional or modern legal systems. These types of marriages include: traditional marriages, forced marriages, come-we-stay marriages, civil marriages and religious marriages. Polyandry, monogamy and polygamy also form a different categorization of marriage. Gay marriages and forced marriagesare also being increasingly considered in the legal frameworks of different cultures and countries. Communication is defined as the means through which we convey information from one person to another. It may be verbal, non-verbal or otherwise. Buehlman (1996) defines means of communication such as visual, audio and biometric means are used to communicate. Human communication is believed to be the most developed means through which we are able to create understanding. Human beings use language as opposed to the other animal that use sounds such as barking for dogs. Interpersonal communication is important for the existence of any social relationship. It involves individuals who exchange information and form meaningful interactions which help them influence one another and make meaning of themselves and of other people around them. In a marriage situation, the couples form meaning of who they are to one another and this influences how they interact and the value they attach to their relationship. It also involves their relationship with in-laws and with their children which is determined by their interpersonal communication. This clearly reveals that interpersonal communication is paramount for the success of any kind of social relationship. However, not all marriages turn out as ideally expected by the couples. This is because there are times when we experience misunderstandings. This includes all forms of unclear information and or distorted information. Messages conveyed from one party to another needs to be consistent throughout its communication process. That is the intended message should reach the intended party as it is and be clearly understood. Non-verbal communication involves all forms of communication which do not include the use of sound as well as words. Instead, signs and symbols have continued to be used to convey the intended information.All aspects of culture are means of communication in one way or another, for example, dressing, use of meaningful signs in the appropriate context and writing are all interpreted in the context of culture. Written means of communicationcan also be used as a channel to send messages from one party to another. Misunderstandings are part of our day to day life. Inadequate, unclear and mistaken communications are bound to bring misunderstanding in life. For some time now, human beings have sought to understand the reasons behind misunderstandings in marriage. This question has led to different studies on issues of misunderstanding and miscommunication in the institution of marriage. Definition of communication behavior Communication behavior is defined as the use of behaviors performed daily as a means of communication (Gottman, 1981). It involves both verbal and non-verbal tendencies of to portray intended feelings; thoughts and needs that convey indirect messages and affect the behavior of people around them. We need to be interested and show that we actually are, do not judge or jump into conclusions and be sensitive about other peoples’ feelings. Empathy will help you see the other persons point of view and you should also avoid being critical as these may discourage communication process. When expected behavior is not performed or an unexpected behavior is performed, a message is clearly being conveyed. The message may be positive or negative depending on context in which it is performed. Intention of the behavior is what gives meaning to it. For example, if a husband expects to be welcome home when he arrives from work as has been a routine and this does not happen, they tend to derive meaning from such behavior and in most cases, such behavior is judged as unwelcoming to the husband and may be countered byother forms of behavior from the husband. Emotional expressions or non-expression, doing or failure to do an expected function and the certain ways of dressing that are suggestive in nature are the key attributes of behavioral communication. Behavioral communication is characteristically a result of our subconscious and sometimes conscious activities of the mind. And is categorized into four main categories such as; Aggressive communication which is shows that the other party is inferior to the subject. Therefore, the subject is likely to show disregard to the other people around. Such individuals do not have second thoughts about interrupting others or taking their place. Aggressive communicators are therefore easily irritated and subjected tovarious forms of aggression such as verbal and non-verbal aggression. This is not good especially so for individuals who are committed toa long lasting relationship. Assertive communication is the second category which involves all forms of non-verbal communication where the subject has clear understanding of their personal social space. They normally mean what they are communicating and intend that their message should not be misunderstood. Therefore, they ensure that all their means verbal and non-verbal communication does not convey contradicting messages. Passive communications are characterized by the expression of little or no confidence may be as a result of low self-esteem. This is seen in their poor posture, low voice or whispers when speaking and they avoid eye contact.They are easily intimidated by the mere presence of another person. This kind of communication stems from socialization processes and some past experiences as well. Passive aggressive communication involves subject who are stubborn, irritating and who do not care about other people’s needs, concerns and expectations other than their own. They are insensitive to delicate matters in most times and they rarely observe the context in which to convey their message. Statistics has shown that indeed there are misunderstandings in virtually all sexual relationships including marriage. Various research conducted and theorizing in different parts of the world in a bid to understand the causes of antagonism betweencouples have revealed and attempted to explain this social phenomenon. Sex and Gender Sex is simply the biological attribute of being either male or female. This is differentiated from gender because the latter refers to the socio-cultural construction that determines responsibilities, expectations and conducts of male and females in different contexts. Gender issues have emerged as one of the reasons behind misunderstandings experienced in marriage today. There is a clear difference in social expectation, responsibilities moral codes of conducts as defined by the society for males and the females in different context. This has led to marital conflict which is a situation where couples express differences in their willingness tofulfill their individual needs and interests and eventually leads to interruption from each other in meeting their needs and interest (Johnson, (2004). ). At least one of the spouses needs to be aware of the inherent or incumbent differences in needs and interests and the existing interferences. Open expression of these differences leads to manifestation of the conflict. There exists both constructive and destructive conflicts categorized by their impact on the marriage.Gottem’s theory is one of the theories postulated in an attempt to explain how the ability of a couple to resolve conflicts that are commonly experienced in virtually all marriages lead to a stronger marital bond.He brings to the fore various conflict style including validating means which is communication centered, volatile and empathetic. If sex and gender is used in Gottem’s theoretical model, it would mean that both couples in a conflict will try to understand the other person’s needs and be considerate on their interests for the success of the relation. Social dominance However, this is not usually the case especially so in male dominated societies where the man believe that his needs need to be attended to promptly at the expense of the woman. The social hierarchy and status of the woman in such a marriage is affected by fact that her needs are not adequately addressed and at times she rarely communicates to the spouse and this leads to the initiation of contempt in relations. This later grows from its potential and manifests into negative communication in society. Research shows that chances of successful relationship satisfaction are increased by two major factors including the length of time spent in the relationship and the continued use of positive communication behaviors by the couple. In any marital relationship, there is need for effective communication to be maintained for the success the relationship (Hinkle, (1998). Relational partners are expected to input the non-verbal and verbal behaviors that will increase liking.Strong advocacy for such non-verbal behaviors as touch, smiling and maintaining a good posture and eye contact are key to the success of the relationship. Positivity, openness, assurances, social networks and sharing tasks are some of the key issues outlined by various scholars including (Dainton, 2007), as means through which we can maintain our marriages. Positivity involves the use of all nonverbal behavior that suggest that all relationships require specific ideal conditions in order for them to be successful. Such behaviors include smiling, liking, honoring, living and cherishing. These behaviors will encourage the other party of just how much they are important to the subject. By so doing, they enable the couple feel at peace with one another. For instance, a genuine smile is a sign of acceptance. It also shows just how welcoming the individuals are to their partners. Touching and hugging are a sign of affection and are likely going to improve the social distance between the relational partners. Communication behavior needs to have integrity. This is the case where honest and openness count. Integrity requires that one remains royal and committed to their partner, keep promises and remain trustworthy. This helps the institution of marriage to be firm through building confidence and trust in both the relationship and the partners. It reveals the extents to which partners are or are not dependable. For example, speaking truthfully about a situation when it occurs will help an individual avoid future contradictions. Take for instance, the Sharing companionship is another key communication strategy that is bound to work for a couple.Spending of time together and having fun and enjoyment is key to building the relationship. Showing that one cares through giving of gifts and throwing surprises is a pleasant way of expressing our feelings hence through this we keep the relationship going. For instance, by spending time together, the couples get to understand each other’s need, expectations and reactions to different situations. This brings to about the reduction of uncertainty and also boosts the confidence and self-esteem of the couples. Giving emotional support is another non-verbal means through which we can maintain our marital relation. Providing support and assistance whether directly or indirectly to a spouse brings about the confidence in the afflicted partner. It also helps show interest in the wellbeing of the relations party. For instance when going through tough times, it is important for us to understand that we are not alone and that our relation’s partner will always be there for us. If a close relative has died, emotional support from a spouse is comforting and reassures that we are not alone. Showing respect to other includes accepting them the way they are, treating them humanely through what we say and do in the daily routine, acknowledging their presence and giving them the space they deserve (Burgoon, 1999). It is not advisable for instance for one to intrude into the privacy of the spouse and neither is it justifiable.Respect during interactions conveys the message that the receiving party is valued. For example, in a public gathering such as in church, it would look disrespectful if a husband is seen to be watching over the wife or vice versa because this is denial of freedom and intrusion which is bound to bring about contemptuous feelings. Creating an accommodative atmosphere is also key to the success of any social relationship. Verbally express your commitment to your partner. This can be achieved through telling your partner about your willingness to stay in the relationship and your commitment to build the relation. It is a simple way of reassuring your partner that you are fully committed to the success of your relation. For example, it will prove very helpful in a relationship when peoplebecause of involvement of your partner, they feel part and parcel of the relation and would therefore feel obliged to make it successful. For example, telling the spouse just how much you love them makes them feel owed to youand therefore they make it successful. This should be supported by the subject’s action which should conquer with the actions. Anniversaries are also important in the maintenance of any given marital relationship. Celebrating your union is another rich source of cementing the institution of marriage. This reminds the couple of what it has been over the years. This involves themspending time together and sharing some sweet memories withtheir loved ones. It helps relieve stress and create sweet memories with your spouse. Make a conscious effort to communicate (Canary, (2003).). The small things also count when it comes relationships. This includes every day’s conversation where they share their feelings, their thoughts, their expectations and their goals on a daily basis. This will help the couple build their trust and be open enough to share their experiences with their partners. For example, a couple who communicate regularly about issues affecting them are more likely to overcome the challenges they face in their daily routine.If a one does not take an initiative to make the relationship work through conscious efforts, then theyrisk losing it. This is because,the relationship is a union involving the needs, expectations and concerns of two people which must be met in order for a cohesive existence of the union. Marriage too requires that we communicate about division of household chore and other responsibilities. Working through problems is one of the ways through which we can sustain our social relations.Conflicts account for highest percentage of divorce in the world. Therefore there is need to learn better and improved ways of dealing with conflict situations because we are sure to meeting them soon enough in our marriage. Conflicts arise from financial issues, other family members such asin-laws and other sources. Managing and dealing with these conflicts requires not only prior knowledge and expectation but also strategic means of maneuvering through the situation. We also need to develop turn taking roles in family communication because this will encourage successful communication and also allow for respect of each speaker. This develops effective and efficient passage of messages and ultimately creating an understanding. Bibliography Buehlman, K. G. (1996)). . The Oral History Coding System.(In J. Gottman (Ed.), What predicts divorce? The measures. Hillsdale,: NJ: Erlbaum. Burgoon, J. &. ((1999).). Nonverbal cues and interpersonal judgments:. Canary, D. J. (2003).). Framing the maintenance of relationships through. Dainton, M. (2007).). Attachment and marital maintenance. . Communication Quarterly, , 55. Gottman, J. &. ( (1981). ). Communicative competence in the nonverbal. Hinkle, L. (1998)). Nonverbal immediacy communication behaviors and liking in marital. Johnson, D. ,. (2004). ). Relationship maintenance behaviors. Communication Quarterly,, 52(3). Read More