Victimhood and Blame with Regard to Self-awareness and Effective Communication - Case Study Example

Victimhood and blame with regard to self-awareness and effective communication In society today, there is a need for the power of introspection and the capability to forgive oneself as a person, separate from the surrounding and other people. It is extremely hard for people to find time to sit silent and think about whom they truly are, their strengths, weakness, habits and values etcetera. This literature review is going to analyze victimhood and blame with regard to self-awareness and effective communication. Victimhood and blame with regard to self-awareness and effective communication Introduction Self awareness is the ability that comprises a clear perception of an individual’s personality, which includes: beliefs, emotions, thoughts, strength and weakness. Self awareness gives a person the opportunity to comprehend how other people perceive them and their attitude and response to them (Hinton, 2008). This opportunity of self-reflection is extremely beneficial to every single person today because of the low level of self-awareness that has been noted. It arises due to the mentality of victimhood that has taken roots in our culture today. Self awareness is one way that will move people away from this mentality because it drains a person of their personal control and makes them cease taking liability for themselves and the way their lives take form. Victimhood can become an extremely unpleasant encircling routine in someone’s life. There is a need to develop self awareness in our lives so as to be in a position to make huge changes in the manner that we think and make certain interpretations. In the process of changing the interpretation that was within your mind earlier, it brings about the alteration of our emotions. This makes self awareness to be among the most essential characteristic in attaining success (Nielsen, 2008). This is one of the most essential factors that maximize the management skills. It can also improve on personal judgment and aid us in identifying vital chances for professional advancement and individual growth. Victims and Victimhood Life without conflicts has its own problems all together. In most cases, people have to live with anxiety forcing them to cope with both a conscious manner or in an unconscious way (Burgess, 2010). This is commonly observed in workplaces and school. For instance, the trauma and fear caused by the violence in Palestine in September 2000 is still felt up to date. In Israel, they are always keen to protect their security. This is due to trauma and victimization that affect the victim. Such incidents are as a result of historical events (Hinton, 2008). Victimhood has always been a key player in polarizing the relationships. Self-righteousness can be observed by everyone because there are no good or bad victims. Perhaps it is because we are all victims and perpetrators in relation to our daily events. Even after all this most people justify themselves or end up feeling guilty depending on the aftermath of their actions. Happiness Happiness is believed to be a state of feeling from within, and it is mostly not affected by the external surrounding. However, it has been observed that most people relate their external surroundings with the moods they are in. Possibly, that is the explanation why a good number of them maintain the same moods that they were before (Nielsen, 2008). Sometimes people feel happy because of small issues that take place in their lives and yet they do not notice. For instance, a song that was very significant to someone a long time ago may not make a difference now because it may appear not to be impressive. However, the simple reason is that, at that time, the person listening to the song was happy and seemed to enjoy everything around them, but because they are not happy at a particular moment the song seems to have lost its significance (Hinton, 2008). Many people have a tendency shifting the blame of their unhappy moods on to their external surrounding. However, it is advisable to accept the reality by finding the cause of what makes an individual happy or unhappy and deal with the problem accordingly. Effects victimhood has on society Victimhood is a position where persons who are casualties of a certain situation, thinks that they have been unfairly treated. This shatters the individual sense of security and self worth by the aggressive and violent acts by the outsiders. Victimhood has a complicating aspect because sometimes both parties that are in a conflict may see themselves as being the sufferers and their adversary as the attacker. Each of the sides will try to convince the third parties that the other group is the one that is the apparent provoker. This mentality and culture have deeply taken roots in our cultures and society today (Hinton, 2008). In order to move away from these conflicts, each of the two groups has to understand that they have been taken shelter in the victimhood state of mind (Hooks, 2012). In the perspective of claiming the position of a sufferer and by assigning l the blame to the other people, an individual is able to gain moral superiority while at the sometime disowning any of the responsibilities of the behavior he portrayed before and its consequences (Hooks, 2012). It acts as a show to seek justice and fairness, but in the real sense they are placing the guilt on other citizens for their unhappy wrong actions and fail to take full responsibilities if their doings (Hinton, 2008). This sense of having a collective victimhood state of mind positions the society members to have intensive negative emotions like anger and self pity. It further shows some behavioral implications for the society, in that the people harmed should not be subjected to further harm and unfair treatment (Hooks, 2012). When the black society is considered, they are in a state of poverty and they are blaming others for that, as a substitute of taking responsibility for their personal proceedings. It only happens well for persons that take accountability for their own dealings (Beckwith, 2012). These people see themselves as being the victims of the external globe. This is because of the victim mentality that they have. They view the other people as being the ones to be responsible for their existence. They do not perceive that the fault of poverty that they are in now is due to their own actions, but rather it has been caused by the whites. The society continues to degrade in its unity and development due to this (Hooks, 2012). When they do such acts they manage to experience good and better feelings about themselves, but this does not alter the circumstances that they seem to be in. They just continue to remain poor. On the other hand, the people who take responsibility for their actions and their situations always feel like they are in control of their existence because they have taken control of everything (Clay & Olitt, 2012). The world becomes a dangerous place when there are people with this victimhood mentality all around. They have the feeling of dragging others into their emotional maelstrom and they are very good at turning things upside down. They sometimes do not know why they end up behaving in such a manner because the reasons that they may give is very unclear. This is the reason why their behavior has to be studied and a way to alter it found (Clay & Olitt, 2012). The world is also made up of genuine victims who need to be attended to. But in the case of these fake victims it becomes hard for the society to pick out the real victims and help them out. The globe that this populace exist in is hard for them to be rescued from it. These calls for a slow process where the individual will be able to be trained and thought of the many and better ways of dealing with these difficulties (Beckwith, 2012). People with victim syndrome are prone to aggravating and complicating the small matter that may have fallen into their hands. This makes them very difficult to handle. But with an equipped person who understands the needful form of communication with such an individual. They can be able to help them out (Clay &  Olitt, 2012). According to Clay &  Olitt (2012), there is a big connection between victimhood and self-esteem. When an individual feels victimized in any manner, the self-esteem within them declines. Self esteem is a vital requirement for mental health. If a person has very low self-esteem, then a very high level of distortion is created of the person’s perception of others. If the other group, people or person notices of the huge distinction between themselves and others, they end up feeling less human. But the most effective way to do away with this mentality of victimhood is by beginning to take full responsibility for the entire situation in your life (Beckwith, 2012). When they are, thought how to embrace the circumstances and challenges in their lives then the factors that were holding them down will no longer have control in their lives (Beckwith, 2012). External factors and unhappy existence When people start blaming others for the unhappiness in their lives, then they have started acting like a victim. Blaming only serves one purpose in the lives of these individuals and that are to make them experience good feelings regarding the circumstances that they are in. The person will look at the external factors and ask themselves why it had to happen to them. The circumstances or the external factors may be a lack of money, a dead end job or relationship issues (Armitage, 2007). These victims let the circumstances that they are in to determine how they feel. Instead of thinking what the right step to take next is in order to solve the problem, they focus on the negative; start whining and to feel sorry for themselves (Armitage, 2007). They need to be trained how they can be able to control their thoughts because thoughts are very powerful, they can either harm or help you (Armitage, 2007). In the better part of the cases, it is not the circumstances that a person finds himself in that makes them feel despair but the way they accept to feel about that situation. No one is entirely helpless, with a modest assistance, a person can be able to control their thoughts and thus be able to determine the attitude that can be portrayed when faced with certain situations. It has all the time been tough to let go of the annoyance that was controlling them. If they do they run the high risk of failure, unemployment being left alone and being ridiculed. Having the big heart of making a change takes a lot of effort, time and cash (Armitage, 2007). This state might be very uncomfortable, hard and confusing at times. Instead of taking the better and confronting step ahead a person feels it is better to stay put and just complain about it. Our beliefs over this determine how we handle certain situations. It is time for individuals to be capable to take charge of their lives and bring a difference in the society. They have to learn how to evaluate whether they feel safe and comfortable playing the role of a victim that taking full control of their lives and bringing changes to the community by assisting the real victims cope with their conditions (Chism, 2011). Happiness is an internal state that arises from within oneself. This feeling is completely independent of the other factors that act from external situations (Armitage, 2007). Even though, the external factors do contribute to the state of happiness of an individual, but they do not take control of how they should feel about a certain matter (Chism, 2011). People do make a big mistake of seeking some of the external factors in order to fix their inner feelings, alter their moods by changing things around them (Armitage, 2007). People put the reason for their unhappiness on the external factors. The recent statistics that have been conducted have shown that, out of the hundreds of the external conditions that people put their blame on only two come out to be the real cause for the unhappiness that they experience. In order for an individual to be contented or become happy, they need to accept the real causes that are causing the state of unhappiness in their lives and stop putting the blame on other factors (Enns, 2012). These individuals should be thought of the ways that they can stop blaming other people and things for their unhappiness. If they stop holding on to their suffering in any of the state of affairs that they go through, then the feeling of unworthiness, fear and guilt will go away. They should fight to do away with the unconstructive feelings and replace them with positive thinking (Enns, 2012). They should also get to examine their beliefs and see that they align with the good of the society and for developing yourself as an individual; this will ensure that you stop blaming others for the bad situations that are happening in your life and find justifications for them. They will have the chance to take liability for their personal actions regardless of other reasons that may arise (Enns, 2012). Self esteem is particularly beneficial in terms of the experiences that people pass through. It makes them be able to cope with the various challenges and gain happiness (Reinelt & Roach, 2006). It has also been noted that the blamers tend to overemphasize themselves and on the other hand, try to underemphasize on the negative actions that they have caused. This is selfishness because they leave others to suffer while they are enjoying feeling good in the bad measures they have taken. The genuine victims do not have the control to get ahead of their blame to the third party, but they just sit back and suffer. They deflect the negative consequences that they should have paid the price for and leave the others to burn in it (Reinelt & Roach, 2006). Some people have tried to fight these traits off, but they cannot. When they realize they are in a state that is difficult for them to control, they have to seek advice from individuals who are in a capacity to comprehend the situation and help them (Reinelt & Roach, 2006). They should consider taking held from trained, licensed, professional counselors who have studied every bit of this syndrome and have a scheme of how to take action over it. This can only come about from the training programs that concentrate on the victimhood syndrome. This is the only means that they can be able to tackle these problems. They need to practice effective forms of communications so that they can gain self awareness about the predicament that they are in. If they will not be able to alter their manner of perceiving things then they will end up falling deeper and deeper into disparity and moreover they will affect the society and the system in general. This will teach them how to give up victimhood and blame as an excuse for their dealings and take complete accountability for their situation. They need to own their livelihood by trying to be sincere with themselves and others. The training program will ensure that they receive the greatest empowerment; that will have then to start mastering their own destiny. With self esteem and confidence there comes the courage and strength to stand any challenge that is thrown their way. This will ensure they move out of the victim mentality and self pity. They will be no need for self sabotage or any form of blame transpiring across the society. As it has been noted, that emotional sense-making is one of the most vital elements in overcoming the mentality of victimhood and blame. Nevertheless, many of the people in the society are very limited in the information and knowledge that they have about their own lives. This is why they may need help and assistance from others. Professional help may come from psychotherapists, psychoanalysts and other trainers who can deal with such problems. Conclusion In the environment that we live today, it is very vital that we get full control of our lives in order for us to be totally in control of the broad system. Life is a process of adjustment to the environment, and every person has to adapt to the changes that take place. The people who are anguishing with this victimhood syndrome are the ones who are always complaining over the terrible things that are taking control of their lives. At one, moment, they present themselves as victims and the next they are posing as the victimizers trying to hurt other people. Most of these individuals are miserable in their lives. To be better placed to stop this kind of manners, they have to be trained how to exist with taking responsibilities of their actions and practice having the self-awareness mentality. Moreover to recognize the limiting beliefs that continually sabotage the efforts to move forward and try to clear them away. This will eventually change the way people communicate and relate in the society, their perceptions will be shifted to positive mentality and their quality of life improved. References: Armitage, A., et al. (2007). Teaching and training in post-compulsory education. Maidenhead: McGraw-Hill/Open University Press. Beckwith, M. (2012). Life visioning: a transformative process for activating your unique gifts and highest potential. Boulder, Colo.: Sounds True publishers. Burgess, A., et al. (2010). Victimology: theories and applications. Sudbury, Mass.: Jones and Bartlett Publishers. Chism, M. (2011). Stop workplace drama: train your team to have no excuses, no complaints, and no regrets. Hoboken, N.J.: Wiley publishers. Clay, C., &  Olitt, R. (2012). Peer power: transforming workplace relationships. San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass publishers. Enns, D. (2012). The violence of victimhood University Park, Pa.: Pennsylvania State University Press. Hinton, L. (2008). The Role of Leader Self-awareness in Building Trust and Improving Student Learning. ProQuest publishers. Hooks, B. (2012). Writing beyond Race: Living Theory and Practice. Routledge publishers. Nielsen, J. (2008). Effective Communication Skills: The Foundations for Change. Xlibris Corporation publishers. Reinelt, J., & Roach, J. (2006). Critical theory and performance. Ann Arbor: University of Michigan Press. Read More