Communication in an Interpersonal Relationship - Essay Example

Communication in an Interpersonal Relationship Introduction This paper analyses interpersonal communication between Ronnie Abbas and I. The kind of relationship that exist between Ronnie and I is that of friends. I met Ronnie when I was doing my registration for the new semester seven months ago. We met at the registrar’s office where I had gone to pick the list of courses that I was to undertake that semester. Ronnie was also in the same office to pick the form, though I later learned that he is from a different class. On that day, there was a delay in issuing the forms because the system was down so we had to sit and wait. We have been friends for seven months now. Ronnie is in his second year of study. He lives with his parents several blocks away from by place and after school we usually take a bus home together. Currently the relationship between Ronnie and I is in the integration stage. The integration stage in a relationship is the fourth stage where those involved in the relationship start to get closer than before. Our friendship is at this stage because we are getting close as friends and getting to know each other better. We spent a lot of time together both at school and during our free times playing video games. There are several communication behaviors that indicate that our friendship with Ronnie is in the integration stage. An example is the fact that every time I am through with my classes and ready to board the bus home, I have to call Ronnie to inquire where he is so that we can go home together. The second communication behavior that indicates that the relationship is in the integration stage is the way Ronnie laughs at my jokes. I seem to find Ronnie’s joke interesting and he also seem to find my jokes interesting (Devito 7). We keep laughing every time we are together since Ronnie is the funny type. In some cases Ronnie sneaks into our lecture hall when the instructor has not yet arrived, hits me from the back and then escapes. This is something that he can two several times in a week and it shows that we are integrating and getting closer as friends. Analysis My experience in this relationship can be best analyzed using the social penetration theory, uncertainty reduction theory and the interpersonal deception perspective. The uncertainty reduction theory has been chosen to demonstrate my experience during the initial stages of the friendship (Alder, Rosenfeld, and Proctor 23). The social penetration theory on the other hand will clearly help show how we have come closer with Ronnie in terms of what we share and what we keep away from each other over the period that we have been friends. Finally, I have chosen the interpersonal deception theory to help reveal an instant that almost made us fight with Ronnie and almost ended the relationship. The Uncertainty Reduction Theory According to Alder, Rosenfeld, and Proctor interaction between people who do not know each other is normally full of information and questions seeking to minimize uncertainty (57). When strangers meet, they normally tend to create a relationship with one another by asking questions that are intended to remove any kind of uncertainty. This is usually done at various levels. During our initial interaction with Ronnie and in the initial days of our relationship, this theory came very much into play. As indicated earlier, I first met Ronnie at the registrants’ office where I had gone to pick a form. He had also gone to pick a similar form, but had to wait because of some issues in the office. When I was told also to wait, I walked to the waiting area and found Ronnie there. As I walked in Ronne was looking straight at me. He had been busy with his phone, but as I walked in he took his eyes off the phone and started at me. I had not met him before and all I said was “hello” and then took my seat near him. Ronnie’s reply was also a short one. He just said “hello” and kept quiet. After a few minutes, I asked him if he had also come for the course registration forms to which he gave a short affirmative answer. These provided a similarity in our situation and gave Ronnie the confidence and urge to ask me some questions. Ronnie went ahead to ask if I had also been told to wait. I replied and from then we went ahead to discuss issues related to the college and the registration process. This marked the beginning of our friendship with Ronnie. Social penetration theory This theory also describes some of my experiences in the relationship. The social penetration theory indicates that as the relationship between two people develops communication between the parties also shift from being shallow ones to deeper and more personal ones (West and Turner 90). Not knowing each other limit topics of discussion (Wood 162). This has been true through our friendship with Ronnie. When we first met, all we talked about were issues concerning academics and school life. In addition to that, whenever we talked to each other, the replies in most cases tended to be short yes or no. This is because we had not known each other well. As times progressed, we became comfortable with one another and started discussing matters that were sometimes considered personal. Two months into our friendship, I began dating Mya, a girl in my sister’s class. The relationship was fairing well and I wished to share with Ronnie since I considered him my friend. Every time we went home, I usually felt the urge to share with him about it. However, I did not feel comfortable because I thought that maybe it was too early to involve him in my personal matters. I therefore kept to myself about it for a while. Currently, however, we tend to talk about virtually everything. Ronnie is fond of taking snaps of anything funny, he comes across and sending them to me through Whatsapp. The items he sends ranges from clothes, cars and even girls. I do not find his pictures offensive in anyway and when I get them, I do reply back. I also find it easy to call and share with Ronnie whenever I am in any kind of problem. Two weeks ago, Ronnie’s elder brother had been arrested for drunk driving and I was the first person Ronnie called to tell about the development. When we met at my place the following day, he was free to tell me that dislikes his older brother because of his drug addiction. As he talked to me, he looked comfortable and relaxed even though the matter, he was talking about being something that was personal. This clearly demonstrated how our topics of discussion had changed over the months we had known each other. Interpersonal Deception This is another theory that has come into play in my relationship with Ronnie. This theory reveals that there are at times the sender of information, manipulates the message so as to make it untruthful (Atus and Ventol 210). The deception prompts more questions from the second party (Trenholm 108). There are several cases where this has been witnessed in our friendship. An instance was last month when I went to a house party with Ronnie, and his sister Maggie. It was the first time I tasted alcohol after being convinced by the host. As the night went by, I got tipsy and started seducing Ronnie’s sister, Maggie. She was not happy and instead reported to Ronnie. When Ronnie came to ask me about it, I bluntly denied it. He kept asking how comes then Maggie reported that I had done it yet am refuting the claims. I kept on denying it yet I knew it was Maggie was saying the truth. Ronnie was upset and he left the party with his sister immediately. Another instant where this normally takes place is when Ronnie sneaks into our class and hits me from behind then runs away. Even though I do not normally see him, am sure he is the one and it pains me when he refuses yet he knows I am telling the truth. Conclusion From this assignment, I have learnt that how interpersonal deceit that at times exists in my communication with my friend Ronnie can negatively impact on our friendship. In the instance where I tried to hide the truth from him, I have learned that such things can result into total breakdown of communication that might impact negatively on the friendship. The main thing I have learnt about my friend’s communication is the openness he has and how he is free to share with me on any kind of issues that arises. This has helped make us get to know each other better and be able to share ideas on various topics and items of communication. From the assignment, I have also learnt how our friendship has grown and how we have been able to integrate and get to know each other better through sharing and talking about diverse issues including personal matters. I have also learned that interpersonal deception can be dangerous to the relationship and it can break the friendship. One benefit of doing this assignment is that it helps in understanding why the other partner in the relationship behaves and communicates the way he does. Works Cited Alder, Ronald, Rosenfeld, Lawrence, and Proctor, Rusell. Interplay: The Process of Interpersonal Communication.12th Ed. Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2004. Print. Atus, Gerd, and Ventol, Eija. Handbook of Interpersonal Communication. Mumbai: De Gryyter Mouton, 2007.Print. Devito, Joseph. The Interpersonal Communication Book. Upper Saddle River: Pearson Education Inc, 2008.Print. Trenholm, Sarah. 2011. Interpersonal Communication. Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2011.Print. West, Richard and Turner, Lynn. Understanding Interpersonal Communication: Making Choices in Changing Times. Boston: Wadsworth, 2011.Print. Wood, Julia. Interpersonal Communication: Everyday Encounter. New York: Wadsworth, 2013.Print. Read More