Gender Differences and Interpersonal Communication - Research Paper Example

Gender Differences and Interpersonal Communication Introduction We communicate everyday in our lives. Everything can be said to be impossible without communication. It is a process that is essential to each and every human being. Interpersonal communication is defined as “the process by which people exchange information, feelings, and meaning through verbal and non-verbal messages: it is face-to-face communication. Interpersonal communication is not just about what is actually said - the language used - but how it is said and the non-verbal messages sent through tone of voice, facial expressions, gestures and body language” (What is Interpersonal Communication?). When we communicate with other people, we do not just say words but we say it with different tone of voice and sometimes, actions. This is what interpersonal communication is all about. With just a different tone of voice, the meaning differs. Our facial expression also is an important factor in the interpersonal communication. How we look in conversing with others will mean differently. Our gestures as well as our body language also affect our communication with others. Because of gestures, the other person might understand what we mean in a different way. It is very important that we study the aspects of interpersonal communication because we surely want to convey the message the way we want to be understood. Since everyday of our lives, we communicate, we have to communicate effectively and efficiently. Principles of Interpersonal Communication The first principle of interpersonal communication is it being inescapable (King, 2000). A person cannot “not” communicate. We cannot escape from communication even if we try to. Though we might not talk or use words to converse to others, our gestures, facial expression may do it for us. We must always remember that people cannot read our minds, thus whatever we put in words or show in our body language, will be understood as such by our receivers. It is our behaviour that is understood by people (King, 2000). Interpersonal communication is irreversible (King, 2000). We cannot take back something what we already said. For example, because of our anger, we might burst out words we really do not mean to say to someone. But we know that these words are really not meant to hurt the person we are talking to, but the words already pained the other person. Even if we wanted to take back everything that we have said, the hurt and pain it has caused will not be taken away from that person. The third principle is interpersonal communication being complicated (King, 2000). According to King (2000), theorists explained that least six "people" involved: 1) who you think you are; 2) who you think the other person is; 3) who you think the other person thinks you are; 4) who the other person thinks he/she is; 5) who the other person thinks you are; and 6) who the other person thinks you think she/he is. Lastly, interpersonal communication is contextual (King, 2000). According to King (2000), there are 5 contexts of interpersonal communication such as psychological, relational, situational, environmental, and cultural. Elements of Interpersonal Communication Communicators Communication is a two-way process with one person sending a message while the other is receiving it. Thus, since this is an interactive process that requires at least two persons involved. Message Aside from the words that come out from mouth when we speak, the message that we relay is affected by other non-verbal behaviours such as facial expressions, tone of voice, gestures and our body language (What is Interpersonal Communication?) Noise According to the communication theory, the presence of a noise has a special meaning that distorts the message that sometimes affects the process of communication between the sender and the receiver (What is Interpersonal Communication?). The noise may affect how the receiver would understand the message, sometimes different from what is intended by the sender. Feedback The feedback determines how the receiver understands the message by the sender. The message of the receiver in return to the sender is referred to as the feedback. It is this message that determines if the message was accurately passed to the receiver (What is Interpersonal Communication?). Context Examples are the five contexts listed in the above part of this paper. Situational context as an example can influence the communication taking place between two people. The place where the process is taking place such as the room, office or even in outdoors will affect how two persons communicate. Channel Lastly, the channel refers to “the physical means by which the message is transferred from one person to another. In face-to-face context the channels which are used are speech and vision, however, during a telephone conversation the channel is limited to speech alone” (What is Interpersonal Communication?). Speaking personally differs to telecommunicating using our cellular phones and any other forms. For communications made through telephones or cellular phones, we only rely on speech because we cannot see how the other person acts. We cannot see the body language and or facial expression of our receiver; instead we can only rely upon the tone of voice that we hear from the other end of the phone line. Gender Differences in Interpersonal Communication In John Grey’s book entitled “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”, it talks about one subject, men and women are entirely different from each other (Lop, n.d.). He discussed about the needs, values and communication styles of men and women and how different they are to each other. At the end of this book, we learn that though men and women are entirely different from each other, there is nothing wrong about it. What is important is that both just need to accept their differences (Lop, n,d). According to Dr. Torppa (2010), the “battle of the sexes” in terms of interpersonal communication has become a popular study or research even among the media. Men and women are noted to have a significant difference in terms of communicating styles and even in understanding the message they received. Dr. Torppa (2010) discussed that women are very sensitive when it comes to communicating and understanding the messages. They dwell and read “between the lines”. According to studies, women focus and pay more attention to what underlies to the messages or the meaning behind them. Even in sending and receiving emotions, men and women have different skills (Oh, 2000). According to Oh’s article entitled “Explanation for the Gender Differences in Expressing Emotions”, women are more expressive of their expression while men like to conceal or hide their true emotions. Women show and express their emotions through their facial expression and interpersonal communication while men release their emotions by engaging in different and aggressive behaviours. In terms of relationships, women tend to base it on mutual dependence or interdependence and cooperation which are apparent to women’s decision to always consider making everyone happy (Torppa, 2010). Men, on the hand, based their relationships on independence and competition (Torppa, 2010). While women usually emphasize their similarities with others, men do otherwise. They always compare themselves with others and make decisions based on their own needs or desires. Acceptance We cannot change this fact anymore. Men and women if not entirely, are still different with each other. Their interpersonal communication skills, understanding skills, and even decision-making skills vary. Researches or studies already proved that gender posed a significant impact in interpersonal communication. But what to do about this is what is more important. According to Dr. Torppa (2010), understanding is the key to working out these differences in gender. Because men and women differ, this results to misunderstanding between the two. Communication became more complex than it has already been in nature. Sender and receiver may accurately get the message but may understand them differently. The intent of the message of the sender can be misunderstood by the receiver of the message. Therefore, since we already knew that gender differences play an important part on this issue, we really have to understand and accept that men and women are different. It is only in this way that we can truly communicate effectively and efficiently. Conclusion Interpersonal communication as a process is said to be inescapable, irreversible, complex and contextual. This process consists of different elements such as communicator, message, noise, feedback, context and channel. Studies have shown that gender differences have significant impact to interpersonal communication. Men and women differ in communicating styles and at the same time, in understanding the message. To effectively and efficiently communicate with each other despite this fact, both men and women have to understand each other and accept their differences. References: King, Donnell. “Four Principles of Interpersonal Communication.” 2000. Web. 15 march 2012. Lop, Philip. “Gender Differences in Communication.” n.d. Web. 15 March 2012. Oh, Soojin Susan. “Explanation for the Gender Differences in Expressing Emotions.” 2000. Web. 15 March 2012. Torppa, Cynthia. “Gender Issues: Communication Differences in Interpersonal Relationships.” 2010. Web. 15 March 2012. “What is Interpersonal Communication?.” CPP Asia Pacific. n.d. Web. 14 March 2012. Read More