The Differences in Modes of Gender Communication - Essay Example

The most distinguishing and the most important feature of human being is the gender differentiation of the race. From the very conception of the child in the mother’s womb, curiosity about the gender of the child is raised and the parents start dreaming and visualising his or her future with much anticipation. The gender curiosity is not limited to parents only but everyone who meets the child, enquires about its gender first and then about other things! In all our official and non official correspondence and interaction with others, reference to the gender of the person is made invariably. The behaviour, language, physical appearance and the way of dressing is but few of the things that are important indicators of identifying our gender to others without actual verbal confirmation. The most amazing fact of the present time is that despite having a unisex code of dressing, made popular through evolving fashion statements that has gone beyond the rigid scope of gender differentiation, their gender is clearly discernable through the inherent traits that they display. It therefore, becomes important for the social scientists to study the factors that discriminate the genders in our daily life. Apart from the obvious physical differences, the various human attributes and behavioural pattern play a vital role in distinguishing a man from a woman. Way of Communication is perhaps, the most visible and highly effective mode of differentiating the two genders. The vast scope of communication, in terms of behavioural pattern, language used and non verbal means of contact, not only make it an interesting study but these factors are extremely relevant for the social scientists to decipher the socio-psychological differences between the genders with respect to their communication pattern. We would, therefore, be taking up this aspect of differentiation and studying in-depth of the various differences in communication of the genders. The communication style of a man and a woman differ significantly because of the inherent natural differences in perception of things and events that occur on our daily life. It is a fact of life that a woman likes to associate emotionally with the event whereas the man often analyses the same thing or event with hard facts and practicality. This is the reason that frequently the same messages are differently interpreted by the two sexes, turning into the ‘battle of sexes’. “Societal expectations often make women responsible for regulating intimacy, or how close they allow others to come. For that reason, it is argued that women pay more attention than men to the underlying meanings about intimacy that messages imply. Men on the other hand, to a greater extent than women, are more sensitive to ‘between the lines meanings’ about status. For men, societal expectations are that they must negotiate hierarchy, or whos the captain and whos the crew”(Tannen, 1990; Wood, 2001). In relationships, especially, it is apparent that women prefer the concept of inter-dependency and often do things just to please others. On the other hand, men like to emphasize their independence and often make independent decisions as per their perceptions, needs and desires. The studies further show that in relationships, women like to communicate in manners that build and nurture relationships and strengthen emotional support. Men in contrast, are analytical in approach that lacks sensitivity but is helpful in solving problems of all sorts. Another area where the differences can be easily made is in the use of language that each prefers. The women are prone to be more conservative and refined in their use of linguistic and languages than their counterparts. The fact that, from the childhood, gender differences are made obvious by the different communication and linguistic practices, taught to boys and girls. ‘Boys will be boys’ the famous adage is a prime example of communication behaviour that is appropriate for boys but which would not be suitable for girls. “women experience linguistic discrimination in two ways: in the way they are taught to use language, and in the way general language usage treats them” (Lakoff). The use of language is designed so as to define the role of women in society conspicuously. Feminist movement and equal rights have modified some of the male dominated address system to redefine liguistic and words like chairperson have evolved from chairman! Many such examples can be observed during of communicatio in our daily life. Deborah Tennen says that "communication between men and women can be like cross cultural communication, prey to a clash of conversational styles"(1990). It is terefore not surprising that language often reflects the general status of men and women and “it is no coincidence that women see talk as the essence of a relationship while men use talk to exert control, preserve independence, and enhance status”(Wood). It is the reason that women excel in small talks and diplomacy whereas men, with their aggressive stance on issues and brash behaviour, often find themselves in defensive situations in relationships. The interpersonal communication especially in relation to the cross cultural definition, has various elements that can be linked directly to communication between the genders. According to scholars like Samovar and Porter “Differences in worldview1, language usage, and proxemics between the genders are three points of difference which suggest that gender communication is a form of intercultural communication” (1985). Traditions, habits and value system, unique to the cultures have profound influence in the communication pattern of the genders. The role of women in the society, largely decided by the culture, has great impact on the communication methodology adapted by the women and towards the women. That is why there is such a vast difference in the attitude and communication pattern of women belonging to the East and the West! In the cultures of South East Asia and Africa, the women are less empowered with limited decision making powers and therefore, in their communication with the opposite sex, they are hesitent and shy and sometimes, downright submissive. The women of the West, on the other hand, are more forthright in their approach on issues that they think is important for them and are often ready to take cudgels on behalf of others whom they think, may require their support. The age old socio-cultural compulsions have given given more dominating roles to the men which, unfortunately is being carried on till today. Though the myth that men are superior to women has been dispelled, the men like to satisfy their ego by displaying their dominance through physical aggresiveness and intimidating behaviour. The educated society and the learned populace disapprove such behaviour and promote social communication between genders that condones mutual respect. Feminist writers like Carol Gilligan have categorically stated that there is a vast difference in the perspective of the world view of the two genders. Another feminist writer Diana Ivy states that "female identity revolves around interconnectedness and relationship… and that male identity stresses separation and independence"(1994). It is therefore, inferrred that in the religious mythologies where ‘Goddess is the world’, general consensus revolves around respecting and loving the nature and earth as against the the concept of ‘God as the world’ which signifies dominance. Such differences in the worldviews of the intercultural values, reflect directly on the gender differences in communication. Another major difference that is reflected in the communication of the genders is in the non verbal expressions and communication that despite being intangible, speaks vociferously of the huge differences. Proxemics or concept of individual space is used mostly my men to demonstrate their status and dominant role whereas women prefer to interact closely. Men would rather invade other’s space and women jealously guard their own. Big cars, large office space etc. are few of the indicators that declare man’s power and status. “Women were believed to use more expressive and involved nonverbal behaviors than men, and to be more skilled at sending and receiving nonverbal messages. Men were believed to be louder and more interruptive, and to display more nervous, dysfluent behaviors”(Hall). Men, in general, dislike to show their emotions in public whereas it is natural for women to be expressive and often exhibit their emotional state. Despite the fact that the non verbal communications are ambiguous by nature and are often prone to controversial misrepresentation between the genders as people specially men are adapt at manipulating their non verbal communication. Women, by nature, like to express themselves more by non verbal communication than by words. Facial expressions and body language is another strong communication means that are used frequently and instinctively by women to signal their approachablity and control over the situation. They smile more often and try to connect with others through their facial expressions and body language rather than using explicit words. They generally prefer not to stare but use eye contact while engaged in conversation. They also like to touch to show their warmth and emotional support. Men, on the other hand, generally avoid touching except to show their sexual interst and often stare at the opposite sex to issue a sexual challenge or merely to assert their supremacy. Though the gender differences in the communication are predominantly apparent but the studies have also shown that most of these differences are exaggerated and often misinterpreted by few to emhasize the male dominance in the society. Scholars have argued that the whole concept of gender differences in communications is a myth and deliberately spread to create an illusionary world of male dominance. “According to the meta-analysis of studies on gender differences reported on in the current issue of the American Psychologist, males and females from childhood to adulthood are more alike than different on most but not all psychological variables, said psychologist Janet S. Hyde, Ph.D., of the University of Wisconsin in Madison” (internet). It is often parents’ expectation of their children’s behavioral pattern and reactions that determines their communication styles in their adulthood. The male population is conditioned to expect less from the fairer sex and therefore even the parents do not have high expectations from their female children. So, in a patriarchal society, more differences than similarities are exhibited. Whereas, in a liberal society, educational curriculum is the decisive factor that promotes equality between the genders and except in the cases of physical superiority, both men and women, demonstrate similar behavioral style in communication. It is important to address the mythical misrepresentation of the gender differences and appropriate efforts must be made to create awareness of gender equality. One can therefore, conclude that the differences in modes of gender communication are the direct results of the precepts and misrepresentation of the real situations that contribute to the development of socio-cultural fabric of the society. The realization that the communication differences exist between the genders, must pave way for facilitating better understanding between the two to foster improved relations. Effective communication is also a successful tool to tackle sensitive gender issues which need to be speedily resolved for the overall development of the society. Hence, the urgent need to work towards creating a new order which may redefine the changing roles of women and fresh perspectives towards consensual model of acceptance of common code of communication between the genders. Reference American Psychological Association. (2005, September 18). Men and Women Found More Similar than Portrayed in Popular Media. Retrieved November 19, 2007 from http://www.apa.org/releases/gendersim0905.html Hall, Judith A.(1984). Nonverbal Sex Differences: Communication Accuracy and Expressive Style. Paris: The John Hopkins University Press. Gilligan, Carol.(1982). In a Different Voice: Psychological Theory and Womens Development. Cambridge: Harvard Univ. Press. Ivy, Diana K., and Phil Backlund.(1994). Exploring GenderSpeak: Personal Effectiveness in Gender Communication. New York: McGraw-Hill. Julia T. Wood. (1994). Gendered Lives: Communication, Gender and Culture (Belmont, CA: Wadsworth, 1994), pp. 141-143. Lakoff, Robin.(1975). Language and Womans Place. New York: Harper & Row. Tanner, D. (1990). You just dont understand: Women and men in conversation. New York: Ballantine Books. Tannen, Deborah. (1990). You Just Dont Understand: Women and Men in Conversation. New York: William Morrow. Samovar, Larry A., and Richard E. Porter.(1985). Intercultural Communication: A Reader. 4th Ed. Belmont, CA: Wadsworth. Wood, J. (2001). Gendered lives: Communication, gender, and culture. (4th ed.). Belmont, CA: Wadsworth Publishing. Read More