The Communication and the Disclosure Process Between Siblings - Essay Example

? Response letter Introduction A family unit is the oldest whose existence spreads across the world. Various scholars have attempted to give explanations or definitions for this societal structure but the meanings that they give are many relevant ways. In the past, the family unit was a nuclear entity in which there was after the mother and their offspring, but the evolution of various societal systems has influencedbroader compositions. The changes in family inclusion have presented challenges in defining who parents are because parents are no longer those that participate in the reproduction process of children. Therefore, the meaning family tends to be on an individual basis because each individual could be living in a unique household. The increase in divorce rates is relatively alarming and the changes in sexual preferences have influenced families to adopt different family structures across many of the civilized nations. The implication of this is that this concept is not a unique challenge because the occurrence of broken families applies in mostdeveloping and developed societies. However, parents have the responsibility of helping their children to understand that these challenges exist rather than leaving them to suffer because of the sour relationship that may exist between them and their estranged spouses. In this case, this response letter will seek to explain how best individuals can express themselves without harming the feelings of other family members using the Johari window of disclosure. Further, it will also focus on the ways of easing dialect tension that may exist between family members using the dialect tension theory and the possible ways of communicating with them in order to avoid such tensions in the future. 1. Self-disclosure As per this scenario, the advancements made in technology such as social media helped in establishing a relationship with a sibling from the father that abandoned his family years back.The challenge here is that how does one remain loyal to the family that provides them with shelter and the other necessities of life andalsoseek to establish a bond with siblings from the other parent without hurting their feelings. One feels as though they have the obligation to lay out the facts straight before both parties, but this has a high likelihood that one of the parties might be hurt in this process (Rotenberg, 2006). Essentially, this can be challenging to the self-disclosure aspect in which one feels that developing a relationship with a family that their parents do not approve of makes them disloyal and ungrateful. Self-disclosure is the most advisable way of handling such a situation as compared to lying, secrecy, or making hints that may suggest disloyalty to family. However, no options for maintaining a healthy relationship between family members are without consequences, but the outcome has not been as severe in the event that one comes out clean about the situation. In this case, an individual seeks to know the other family members that they share a lineage with the mistakes committed in the past are hindering the prosperity of this newfound relationship. However, the secret conversations that began without intending any harm could have been the beginning of this stalemate, but this does not mean that anyone is to blame for this situation. In this case, the mother and the stepbrother appear to be of importance, but the question that begsis to what extent. There is also the opportunity to know the stepbrotherbetter and develop a lasting relationship or maintaining the good mother-child relationship that has existed for a much longer time. In order to establish whether the self-disclosure process is worth the risk, it is pertinent to ascertain whether it is substantive to do so or whether it is worth the risk. On the contrary, the execution ofself-disclosure should be with caution especially on the sibling met via Facebook because their personality is still a mystery. The Johari Window model of self-disclosure 1. Open/ free Quadrant 2. Blind Quadrant 3. Hidden Quadrant 4. Unknown Quadrant A better way of conducting this process would be through the Johari Window of disclosure developed in 1955 by Luft Joseph and Ingham Harry to help ease this concept and influencing healthy and functional relationships (Verderbek, Verdeber &Sellnow, 2012). For one, the model offers four windows that one might use at different levels when making self-disclosure that include open, blind, hidden and the unknown area. In essence, this window can be helpful when one is attempting to introduce a new member to join the family or the team that was no part of during its inception stage. This may apply to both the stepbrother and the party that seeks to establish family ties with the other family. In the first window, an individual that seeks to join a certain group displays the behavior and emotions known to them and to the group members. In this case, the behavior would be the perceived connection that makes them family because of the common factor, which is the father then move towards other factors that might be common between both parties. This window may be smaller in this scenario because there is no familiarity, but become larger and grow towards other windows as time goes by. Ideally, there is no specific way that the windows may grow into each other but it is a sure way of letting other people knowthe real aspects that characterize an individual. The beauty of this model is that it allows individuals to reveal information about themselves to others as per their own will and not because of the coercion to do so. In essence, this model allows a person to gain feedback about themselves from the members that they seek to develop a long-term relationship as this helps them to be better (Verderbek, Verdeber &Sellnow, 2012). The second window within this model is the blind area where a person is not privy to some information about himself or herself, but the other group members may be aware of. In this scenario, making inquiriesabout what really happened in the past between the parties involved in influencing the break up would help in making this spot to shrink. Some of these issues are workable and handling them would help in clearing the air one and for all in order to allow other healthy relationships to thrive. The break up in the past did not involve the children that seek to establish family ties and denying them this chance would be selfish because the parents could be withholding information that could be of assistance to the situation. Therefore, parents will play a significant role in ensuring that the children involved reduce the blind spot ofcourse at the discretion of the individuals affected by this scenario. The self-disclosure might also move towards the hidden area in which an individual may conceal certain aspects about themselves from the people that they intend to interact with. In this window, an individual seems to be aware of certain information or feelings about themselves may do so deliberately in order to avoid hurting others or as a way of keeping others interested in them (Verderbek, Verdeber & Sellnow, 2012). In most cases, the withheld information might not be too private and is better suited at the open quadrant because this helps in fostering healthy relationships. However, people fear harsh judgment or being vulnerable to critic hence making them to have a hidden side, but is more advisable to lay all the emotions and agendas on the table. In this situation, it would be advisable for both parties to indicate their reasons for attempting to establish a relationship, which would help in ascertaining genuineness. For one, an individual’s parent may feel as though the intention is to make their children vulnerable and leave them in emotional disarray, in which this may always be the case. Most of the attempts might just be to make up for the lost time or trying to make amends hence denying people the opportunity to redeem their deeds might not be healthy to them also. The fourth quadrant in the Johari window of the self-disclosure process is the area of the unknown either to self or to others and they can be emotions, behaviors, or attitudes. However, this quadrant tends to have a positive impact ifself-discoveryor any form of discovery is allowed. In many cases, the discovered behaviors about oneself may either grow towards the other quadrant hence making it to be a sensitive part of the self-disclosure process. In relation to this scenario, the unknown factor here is whether the established relationships would last in the event that all stakeholders agree to reach an amicable solution. In essence, there is the fear of rejection and the possibility of running the other relationships that could have been in existence to this new one hence creating a risk and adamancy towards beginning the self-disclosure process (Verderbek, Verdeber & Sellnow, 2012). In such a case, it would be essential to seek professional intervention in order to avoid the matters from getting a pot of hand in the event that the relationship established does not accrue mutual benefits. 2. Dialectical Tensions in Relationships As per this scenario, building healthy and lasting ties between family members requires that the relationship experiences tugs and pulls in order to make them stronger and effective. For one, falling out with parents can be a hard thing, but the reasons presented in this scenario are substantive, but are also not significant. However, the breakdown between one’s parent may also be an opportunity that would influence closeness and much stronger bond. According to the Dialectical Tension theory, which is an ancient Chinese philosophy the universe tends to create the seeds of opposites that operate against each other (Adler, Rosenfeld & Proctor, 2013). They include the ‘good’ and ‘bad’ of relationships and it is a communication aspect created by scholars in this field of study. In everyday life, these tensions tend to be present in which one feel obligated to do their own things without having to consult anyone while there is also the need to involve other people in the things that one undertakes. As per this scenario, the tension here originally was whether to establish ties with a member of a family considered as enemies to the other family, which is a poor argument. The challenge lies in whether consultation was necessary in the first place because there is also the other tension between one’s privacy and the need for transparency when dealing with such a weighty matter. This inclines towards the fact that telling the entire may not always be the best applicable way of dealing with such situations, but it is also important to disclose them in order to have emotional cushioning in case things do not work out as one intends. The disadvantage of this is that there is incompatibility in which an individual cannot enjoy both sides of the opposing forces at the same time because one force is the total opposite of the other. In this case, one may feel as though at sixteen they are mature enough to make decisions that are satisfying to them, but this is risky because this may cause a detachment from the bonds established at the a tender age. The child and the mother seem to be in an inclusion-seclusion dialect that has caused the parent to go hysterical because of the attempt to be independent at the expense of family unity. In this case, will the mother sacrifice her happiness with her current husband for the sake of the relationship that the daughter seeks to establish with his father and her stepbrother? Or will the daughter continue with her intention to know this other family at the mother’s health? Indeed, this is a tricky affair as much as it may be delicate because both parties have to face different risks that are unique among them (Adler, Rosenfeld & Proctor, 2013). On the other hand, there is the dialectical tension of stability and change in which the mother may be adamant to the new family fond that may result from the disclosure process. The child could also be relying on the achievable change that can occur because of the opportunity to experience paternal fatherly love from the biological father. 3. Communication with Family In conclusion, sibling relationships tend to be the ones that last as compared to any other form relationship hence making it necessary for an individual to capitalize on developing a healthy one. According to research, the relationships that siblings form as they grow up help them to become better individuals, but in this case the way of communicating of establishing this relationship would be the turning point for this situation (Rotenberg, 2006). The communication and the disclosure process should be respectful and one that will influence trust between the parties involved in this scenario. The most likely implication of this would be that the parents should allow their children to develop relationships by themselves in order for them to be independent. In the end, the communication shared between the parties involved may a change in the family pattern as this might create high interactions between the family members making it to be pleasurable. In this case, the benefits outweigh the risks hence making the Johari model of self-disclosure and the Dialectical Tension theory applications to be the most suitable approaches to influencing healthy parent-children and sibling-sibling relationships. References Adler, R. B., Rosenfeld, L. B., & Proctor, R. F. (2013).Interplay: The process of interpersonal communication.New Yor: Oxford University Press. Rotenberg, K. J. (2006). Disclosure processes in children and adolescents. Cambridge, UK: Cambridge University Press. Verderber, R. F., Verderber, K. S., &Sellnow, D. D. (2012).COMM. Boston, MA: Cengage Learning. Read More