Problems and Differences with Roommates - Essay Example

My friend is an introvert and prefers staying by himself. Additionally, he lacks experience with women and ends up breaking up with most of the women he gets from me.

For the three years that we have been very close, we have shared several amenities. The fact that we have similar interests heightened my relationship with him. We were together most of the time. However, early last year I met a girl and fell in love. I am therefore currently in a very steady relationship where we are planning marriage. My girlfriend is also our classmate and a friend of my roommate. As would be expected, I am closer to my girlfriend than my roommate, and this is straining my relationship with him. He feels rejected and, to some extent, betrayed. I cannot understand what he might have expected from our friendship.

A week ago, while my girlfriend was visiting, he acted absurdly; he waited for me to leave the room for a call and made a plan with my girlfriend. Later my girlfriend shared with me his wish for the two of them to meet secretly. I encouraged her to meet him but convinced her to share with me the outcome of their discussion. They met in secret as they had planned and converted in length over a cup of coffee in the cafeteria. My girlfriend later reported to me that he kept advising her to terminate the relationship because he knew me more than the lady did and according to him, “I was not the best choice for my girlfriend”. He told her that I am a flirt and would break her heart. According to him, it was therefore pointless for her to sacrifice her time being in a relationship with me while the outcome was evident.

After the meeting, my girlfriend started acting differently. We could not share anything, and that worried me. However, after I learned about their discussion with my roommate, I concluded that it was a result of the issues that they had discussed. Meanwhile, I maintained a friendly relationship with him. My roommate was quick to offer his advice telling me that the lady was not the best woman I could date. He tried to discourage me from continuing and committing to the relationship. He even offered to take me out for lunch and a film that was debuting in town that day. He did not make sexual advances toward me, but he was so friendly that he suggested sharing my bed after we drank several bottles of whiskey in a bid to get my mind off my girlfriend.

I did not avoid my girlfriend because she soon approached me and was willing to share with me the outcome of her meeting with my roommate. She recounted the advice she got from my roommate and I also opened up and shared with her the advice I received from my roommate, and, I must say, I was shocked. He had gone to great lengths to separate me from the girl I loved, for reasons best known to him. Besides his attempts, he tried becoming very close to me—closer than he had ever tried in our three-year-old friendship. After reconciling with my girlfriend, we became closer; we would spend more time together which angered my roommate. He currently does not come into the room when I am in. At such times, he would prefer to spend the night elsewhere. Other than that, he seems to be distracted by alcohol. Whenever I try to reach out either by calling or texting him, he refuses to reply to my texts or receive my calls.

My roommate’s current careless attitude toward his social and academic life distresses me. I feel partly responsible for his troubles and often feel that I might have done something unknowingly to disappoint him. My roommate, who was once my best friend, has been on a destructive path in recent times. I want to help him but I do not know how. Please advise me.