Lies and Interpersonal Communication in Win, Win - Movie Review Example

? Lies and Interpersonal Communication in “Win, Win” Lies and Interpersonal Communication in “Win, Win” Mike Flaherty is going through a tough time. He is a practicing attorney in a small town in New Jersey, and he is going through a crisis. He is under tight financial constraints and there are many things that need to be done. Mike’s practice is “slow” and does not earn him enough income. He is having a tough time paying the bills, which is made obvious when he refuses to call someone to take care of the dead tree in front of their property that is threatening to fall on their house. The plumbing and the heating system in his office need repair badly. His back-up system is malfunctioning and he refuses to call an IT person because it would cost money. He wants to shield his wife, Jackie, and their daughters, Abby and Stella, from the problem. Whether by accident or by choice, Mike ends up concocting a series of lies that landed him with more responsibilities and troubles. This paper will assess whether the consequences of Mike’s lies actually justify his decisions. It is said that lies are often treated “as the most efficient solution to interpersonal communication problems” (Camden, Motley, & Wilson, 1984, p.309). Deception is usually considered as the right thing to do in circumstances when one desires to avoid conflict, avoid distress, and protect one’s self and/or livelihood, among other acceptable reasons (Levine, Kim, & Hamel, 2010, p.273). These three reasons can be seen in the film “Win, Win” as Mike tries to protect his family from enduring the problems he is currently facing. First, Mike tries to avoid conflict by not telling Jackie that he became Leo’s guardian. This is to hide from her the fact that he took guardianship for the $1508.00 monthly commission. He also tries to avoid conflict by not informing anyone that he deceptively placed Leo in a nursing home despite the old man’s desire to stay in his own house. He even openly lied to Leo by telling him that it was the judge’s decision to place Leo in a nursing home for some time. Second, Mike tries to avoid distress by not telling Jackie about his real financial status. He hides from her the fact that he cannot call someone to cut down the tree because he is worried about paying for labor. He tries to tell Jackie that he will cut down the tree with the help of his friend, Terry, but Jackie does not agree with him because she does not know the reason for this. Third, Mike tries to protect himself and his livelihood by telling the judge that he can keep Leo in his home. He lies to the state and the court by saying that he can do a better job in ensuring that Leo’s will is implemented more properly if he will be the guardian instead of the state. These lies are high stake lies because they hold severe consequences (Camden, Motley, & Wilson, 1984, p.309) for Mike and the people he lied to. To compare, low stake lies are simple lies that usually do not affect the people involved (Camden, Motley, & Wilson, 1984, p.310). For example, lying about a favorite color is a low stake lie. On the other hand, high stake lies affect the people involved in a big way (Camden, Motley, & Wilson, 1984, p.309). This is the case for Mike’s lies. Had he not lied to avoid conflict and distress, the normally calm household he has might be impacted negatively. Mike would also have been pressured to keep Leo in his home, which technically defeats the purpose for why he volunteered to be Leo’s guardian in the first place. Obviously, keeping Leo in his home would cost not only more money but also more time from Leo. Furthermore, had Mike not lied to protect himself and his livelihood, he would have gone through more inner turmoil in thinking about how to continue his practice. The effects of Mike’s lies leak through his non-verbal communication. As a viewer, one could immediately sense through his actions that he is trying to control the situation that his lies created. A good example is in how Mike’s eyes immediately avoid eye contact when the discussion turns towards Leo and his guardianship. This is also seen in his frequent stammers when Shelley questions him about the check from Leo’s trust fund personally made out to him. Mike’s lies can be grouped into secrecy, dissimulation, and simulation. Secrecy is the least form of lie wherein one hides the truth (Utz, 2005, p.50). Mike’s circumstances actually started from his want to hide from his family the truth about his financial situation. Dissimulation is a form of lie where one tries to mislead someone while not directly lying (Utz, 2005, p.51-2). A good example of this is when Mike tells the state and the judge that he can act better as the guardian for Leo --- which holds some truth in it because a one-on-one care is better than state care, --- while his real reason is the monthly commission as a guardian. Simulation happens when one tells lies blatantly (Utz, 2005, p.53). Some good examples of this are: 1) when Mike tells Leo that is was the judge’s decision to send him to a nursing home, and 2) when Kyle (Leo’s grandson) asks Mike if it was indeed the judge who sent Leo to the nursing home. On a personal note, Mike need not resort to these lies to his wife. The couple appears to be masters of marriage. Masters exhibit behaviors such as: 1) gentleness and responsibility, 2) curiosity and interest, 3) respectfulness, and 4) openness and honesty. Disasters, on the other hand, exhibit behaviors such as: 1) criticism, 2) defensiveness, 3) contempt, and 4) stonewalling (Hoppe-Nagao & Ting-Toomey, 2002, p.144-5). Despite Mike’s lies, most of his behavior circles around the fact that he wants to protect his family. Even under stress, he does not raise voice to any of his family, which reflects gentleness and respectfulness. He wants to take responsibility for the problems. He listens to his wife, which shows his curiosity and interest in his wife’s feelings. He is, however, not open and honest about some things. Jackie, on the other hand, displays all the characteristics of a master of marriage. Even at the point where she learns about Mike’s web of lies, she did not criticize, act defensive, showed contempt, or tuned out of Mike’s explanations. She even expressed support for Mike after she found out about the lies by saying: “Well then, tell her you changed your mind and he needs to be in a home. No one can argue with that” (Skalski et al., 2011). After Mike says sorry, she just says: “I know” calmly (Skalski et al., 2011). However, she still says: “Oh well, glad you’re done lying now. Just in time to lose your practice. That’s how your family survives? Did you ever think of that, Mike?” (Skalski et al., 2011), which can be taken as a defensive behavior to express her disappointment. This could be turned into a supportive statement by saying: “I’m glad you’re finally telling me the truth so we can together figure out a way how to resolve all our problems.” One interesting conflict where Mike’s cunning strategy works is when he decides to tell Cindy (Leo’s daughter/Kyle’s mother) that Leo disinherited her from his will and that Leo is leaving his estate to the Municipal Park System to build a park in his name. This is a combination of man against man and man against self conflicts (Levine, Kim, & Hamel, 2010, p.276). Mike battles an internal conflict wherein he needs to salvage his image and acquired benefits from the situation, while he figures out a way to remove the obstruction, which is Cindy. He utilizes a distributive conflict management style (Utz, 2005, p.53), where he lays the cards on the table to make the other party realize that they will lose either way. He says: “Cindy your father disinherited you from his will. Completely. And I’m afraid that I can’t change now that he’s been declared incapacitated” (Skalski et al., 2011). By this, he obliges the other party to withdraw any claims while limiting leakage of any information regarding his own benefits should the other party concede. The style is appropriate and effective because it causes Cindy to finally relent and leave Kyle and Leo alone, in exchange for the monthly commission of $1500.00. Mike loses the commission, but he retains Kyle, who has earlier proven to be a good addition to Mike’s wrestling team. It could also be a way to revive his image to his wife who has grown fond of Kyle. With all the lies and attempts to repair relationships in the movie, one would see Mike going to a corner and smoking a cigarette. It reflects his stressed emotions. He is obviously disturbed by what he is doing. While the consequences of his actions do not justify his lies, he can easily be forgiven due to the internal conflict he goes through. This is shown to the viewer’s eyes and perhaps to the inner musings of the people who Mike lied to. As mentioned earlier, Jackie exhibits her relationship repair skills by calmly acknowledging Mike’s apology and acting in support to Mike’s decisions even without saying it. Kyle also shows his relationship repair skills non-verbally. After saying he wants to be alone, Kyle goes to the dining room and sits with Mike for breakfast. Mike is powerless, as shown by the expression in his eyes and his quiet demeanor when facing Kyle. Kyle was at first aggressive, clanking his spoon and fork on the plate as he starts to eat. He obviously has the upper hand in this scene. However, equality and forgiveness is displayed when Mike quietly hands the pancake syrup to Kyle, and Kyle accepts it like nothing bad happened earlier. References Camden, C., Motley, M. T., & Wilson, A. (1984). White lies in interpersonal communication: A taxonomy and preliminary investigation of social motivations. Western Journal of Speech Communication, 48, 4, 309-325. Hoppe-Nagao, A., & Ting-Toomey, S. (2002). Relational dialectics and management strategies in marital couples. Southern Communication Journal, 67, 2, 142-159. Levine, T., Kim, R., & Hamel, L. (2010). People Lie for a Reason: Three Experiments Documenting the Principle of Veracity. Communication Research Reports, 27, 4, 271-285. Skalski, M. J., London, M., Falcone, L. M., McCarthy, T., Tiboni, J., Giamatti, P., Ryan, A., ... Copyright Collection (Library of Congress). (2011). Win win. Beverly Hills, Calif: Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment. Utz, S. (2005). Types of Deception and Underlying Motivation. Social Science Computer Review, 23, 1, 49-56. Read More