Interpersonal Conflict - Essay Example

Interpersonal Conflict I do not have much conflict with other people because most of the time I argue with myself. However, there was this thing that happened between another student and me. I was asking one of my friends about something and then he was answering me. On the other table, there was another student teaching the same thing to her friends. I accidentally heard what they were discussing and then I joked my friend that he was teaching me the wrong thing and then we started laughing because he realized that he was wrong. Apparently, that person from the other table was listening to our conversation. She went to our table and then she told my friend that if we have any problem with her we could just tell her. My friend and I looked at each other and then she left. After a while, one of the people I know came to us and said that we offended the girl. My friend and I asked this other student if she can call the girl so that we could explain our side and what we were laughing about. She did and girl came to us. We first said we were sorry and then before we could even tell her our side she started talking about how wrong it was to laugh at other people. My friend simply kept quiet since he and I would not intervene and tell her our side of the story. The problem was that there were misunderstandings and miscommunications because she made a conclusion on her initial observations and she did not even give us time to explain our side. I was already trying to say something but she kept on going about how wrong our actions were and we were not supposed to be listening to other people's conversation. I was quiet but inside I was bursting to tell her about how wrong she was regarding her assumption and that she, too, were listening to other people's conversation. After our talk—or rather, after my friend and I listened and she said things—I felt annoyed with her because it was useless having that talk if she was the only one talking. She was being sensitive and insensitive at the same time. Also, she was not understanding the situation because she was just letting her emotions mix up with her logic. She was not being rational. I think in her perspective she was seeing that we were obviously listening to her and that we were laughing at her. Also, since she heard only bits of the conversation, maybe she started sowing what data she had and then made a conclusion that were laughing at her because she was wrong. At the same time, I think she felt that maybe she needed to have a strong personality while she was talking to us so that we will not think that she was just some person we can laugh at. I guess for her, the problem was that we were judgmental and disrespectful. I think the misunderstanding was caused by our youth and our inability to know when to make side comments and when not to. During the time that we were trying to settle the situation, since my friend and I were quiet, I think she thinks that she was telling us the right things and that we were very sorry that was why we were quiet. Personally, by comparing the two perspectives, I noticed that the issue was very simple to control and that it was easily fixed if we were able to do some things—both on my side and the girl's. Things like, if only my friend and I kept our voice down it would not have happened or if we just did not mind her it would not have started. At the same time, my friend and I should have been more assertive instead of just being quiet. On the other hand, she should have been more sensitive to let us explain our side. In other words, both parties had a fault, we were just too stubborn and too blinded by our own feelings to rationalize the situation and deal with it as smartly and as calmly as we could. Now that I am fully aware of the perspectives from both sides, I think if I were to remake that situation when we were trying to resolve the conflict it would sound like this: Me: Hey, you think we should talk to her? Friend: Yeah, I think we should because she might think we're brats or something. Me: Let's go call her. Friend: Wait; let's see what we'll tell her first. Me: But don't you think it's not our fault? Friend: That's why we should think of what we'll tell her so we would explain it to her without annoying her more. (After a while of thinking, we'll approach the girl.) Me: Hi. Did we offend you? Girl: Obviously. You were laughing at me, who do you think won't be angry with that? Me: We're sorry; we did not mean to make you feel bad. Girl: You know what; you should understand what it means by privacy and respect. Me: We now know that and we’re sorry. However, you should also understand that we were not laughing at you. We were laughing because my friend here was telling me the same thing that you were telling your friends over there. But he told me the wrong thing which was funny because it was his field and he gave me the wrong one. Girl: I see. So I got it wrong then. I'm sorry, I should not have assumed immediately. Me: I guess it's all just a matter of misunderstanding. We're sorry for making you feel bad. Girl: No it's fine. I'm sorry too, now I don't think I should have been angry in the first place. I apparently did not think of the situation on hand first before I reacted. In that script, my friend and I were able to think of our emotion because we felt guilty but at the same time we were able to segregate our guilt from our thoughts that we were able to be assertive. At the same time, my friend and I planned for what we should say first before we started talking to her because at least in that way we were able to converse with her successfully. Like what the things covered in class, before you start trying to fix a situation you should first understand the situation by understanding yourself. Think of your emotions and confirm your emotions, are they the right emotions for you to feel? Do they have a basis of being there? Next, we were able to separate our emotions with our thoughts which made it easier for us to plan for our little speech. In that way, we were successful in telling her our side. We were able to deliver our side calmly and because of it we were able to help her deal with her own anger and if she was supposed to be angry in the first place. Read More