The Effect of Being Adult on Your Personality - Essay Example

?Personality Change Personality change in adult life is of importance. People can change in different ways for different reasons. Young adults in college age may decide to go to foreign countries to pursue higher education. It is usually the dream of many students to go to a foreign country for further studies. However, many students do not necessarily go to foreign countries for further studies. Some students find themselves going to foreign countries through foreign student exchange programs. Despite what facilitates a student to go overseas to study, there is always excitement that comes about due to the prospect of meeting new people and the expected changes in culture. Some of the common changes that many students experience changes in culture, language and system of education. This was not any different in my case. The various changes experienced can be behavioral, cognitive, psychodynamic and humanistic; having an influence in personal strengths and weaknesses whose understanding is important in future career development and improvement. Personality Change Theories Philosophy, Psychology and sociology theorists and experts have always claimed that personality of a person can change in certain circumstances. Changes can occur when a person relocates to another place, which is different from the region they are used to or when they decide they are going to make changes in some things about themselves. Personality change when a person relocates to another place is based on the theories discussed hereafter. Behavioral This is simply the change of behavior of a person either towards something for improvement or change of environment. Change of environment especially comes with its own challenges. Things may be different in the new environment compared to the environment a person is used to. The person has to imitate the behavior and actions of the people in the new environment to fit in and survive. This is important as there is no other way a person would appreciate the culture and customs of the people in the new environment. Behavioral change is based on several factors as discussed below. Communication skills: According to the Erikson’s theory of psychological development, people get person identities as they progress in age. Every age group has a certain characteristic through which a lot is learned and plays a role in personal identity. For college students, they fall under the category of young adults which according to Erikson ranges from twenty to thirty nine years. This stage is based on two characteristics, intimacy and isolation. Erikson states that this stage is important for people within that age bracket to have good relationships with other people. The consequence of this is two outcomes; intimacy or isolation. People, who learn how to connect with other people, share with them what their feelings and to appreciate their viewpoints and perspectives on different issues get intimacy. They have people they can always look up to when they need them. On the other hand, people who do not develop good relationships with other people do not have anyone to connect to or look up to. They live on their own in isolation (Schultz and Schultz, 2004). The consequences of Erikson’s theory of psychological development have a lot of impact on the people. While people who have intimate relations are usually happy and stress free, those that live in isolation are likely to be depressed making them to engage in activities that are not good for instance substance abuse. Basing on this psychological development theory by Erikson, I have learned to interact with people from across the world for the time I have been studying abroad. I have developed relations with many people that I met at the University. I believe I have understood them to the fullest and they have also understood my personality. There was a lot of fulfillment I experienced by sharing my joy, issues and challenges with the friend I have made at college. I have learned to appreciate every person as we were from different cultural, ethnic and thinking dimensions. This has really helped me to improve my communication skills on a sociological perspective. I am able to understand other people easily and connect with them better leading to better communication. Cognitive Cognitive psychology is the psychology that deals with emotions, feelings and motivational forces. This is based on the interrelationships between the various parts of the mind and personality. Feelings and emotions may be stimulated when a person does something that affects their morals of when they interact with people who arouse their feelings. This could be as a result of the personal believes variation among the different people or groups. Moral Judgment: This theory by Lawrence Kohlberg is based on moral judgment on different things. There are many things that are deemed good and bad. While some are learned from parents and guardians and teachers, others learn from peers. When a person follows what is deemed god, they usually feel good and content. Conversely, when they go contrary to the morals, they feel guilty and ashamed of themselves. They may not show but it is not a good feeling (Colby and Kohlberg, 2011). In college, the most appropriate learning according to this theory would be from the teachers, authorities and peers. Teachers train people in colleges how they should interact with others and follow simple rules like keeping time, following the rules and regulations of the class and work hard to pass. Authorities on the other hand set rules and regulations that are to be followed within the college institution. This can include how students should behave, the routines to be followed and guidelines on what is expected by the time students are completing their respective course. Peers may choose to follow the rules and regulations as well as teachers' perspectives on what is good or bad or fail to. When they do this, they have an influence on their fellow peers. I have learned a lot of this theory of personality development. I usually set my own targets and how to achieve them. For example, I have a schedule on how to utilize time every day. Waking up early, sleeping late yet getting enough sleep is the objective. When I wake up early and on time according to my schedule, I always feel good and gain confidence for the rest of the day. On the other hand, when I wake up late, I usually feel guilty and my confidence is affected such that the rest of the day is just but a struggle. Learning the moral personality theory has helped me to make sober and morally acceptable decisions at all times and playing a part in the moral of the society. Psychodynamic Psychodynamic psychology is based on exposure to the external environment especially one where a person is not used to. There are a number of things that a person may experience when they change their environment. According to psychologists, the first thing that happens to a person after exposure to a new environment is shock. They would wonder how they can survive in a area especially if there are extremes in variations of believes, customs and general livelihood. This is followed by a period of numbness, denial fear anger and depression. All these are included in the process of adapting to a new environment. After that, understanding and acceptance follows showing that the person is moving on. Their morale and self esteem is boosted making it easier to interact with the new environment and the people. Gerald Matthews believes that when there are changes in the environment, the cognitive development assists in adapting to the new environment. Although the adapting to new environments is necessary in some situations, adapting by adults is much easier compared to children. They are able to connect better with others as well as appreciating the new environment and people faster (Boyle, Matthews and Saklofske, 2008). By studying abroad, I had to be away from my normal environment, family and friends. This meant that I had to have other friends and family in the new environment. I learned how to network with people of varying cultural values and customs. I had to make friends to adapt to the new environment. It was not easy but that opportunity has made me to acknowledge that I can survive in any environment in the world as long as there are people. In addition to that, the two theories discussed above helped me to make sober choices. By communicating to the different people in the quest to make new friends in a foreign land, some could not meet my moral judgment threshold. I feared that they would have a negative influence on the decisions I would make in the foreign land. As such, I had to turn down some friendship requests to be morally upright. Humanistic Humanistic psychology is value oriented based on the constructive view of human beings. Internal human convictions and ethical values have strong forces associated with this concept. Creativity, interaction of the body, spirit and mind as well as the capability to become better, aware, responsible, affirming and trustworthy are some of the human qualities associated with this theory. These characteristics are associated with people that are termed as good leaders. Therefore, humanistic psychology is a key determinant in leadership. Teamwork development: As a team, more was expected of us because cooperation facilitates open-minded discussions and hence better results (Alper et al., 1998). People discussing as a team are likely to be more creative and motivated. That is why the studies have shown that cooperation and group discussions have helped restaurants employees in Hong Kong to serve their customers better (Tjosvold et al., 1996). Better results encourage team members to become committed to their team. Our group consisted of two categories of behaviors. The first type is the task work behaviors and the other is the teamwork behavior (McIntyre & Salas, 1995). A task work behavior is the category of the behavior that was associated with the assignment task. The second category which is the teamwork behavior was influenced by the group dynamics. This category was more profound as compared to task behaviors. It defined the impact of group relationships and leadership to the overall accomplishment of the tasks (Homans, 1950). It is the kind of behaviors that, for example, resulted from my autocratic leadership. Most group members opposed my leadership which negatively influences the result of the teamwork. Team members seemed to get motivated where they were recognized as decision makers and given opportunity to participate fully in the teamwork. In general, team obstacles were the main cause of unsuccessful completion of our task (Tjosvold et al., 1998). Our team used stasis theory by Brizee (2008) to build common ground and solve the issues that were disagreed upon. This theory helps to break possible deadlock in a team; and hence helping group members to move forward (Belbin, 1981). When used as a process for discussion through the information related to the website, the stasis questions can help our team continue with the dialogue until a consensus is reached. When a consensus is reached, our team shall be considered as having achieved stasis with each other. Our team did not complete the discussion amicably in all cases; they had to disagree in some issues which resulted into exchange of words, but were finally resolved (Brizee, 2008, Johnson, 2007). According to Lencioni (2004), the power of team work dynamics come about when the leaders of a team converge to collectively focus on challenges, problems, issues and goals of a team. It is this concept that driven my leadership. Lencioni (2004) encourages team leaders to carefully manage team meetings in order to take the full advantage of collective skills and knowledge of the team members. Our team success was partly as a result of good coordination of meetings. Although some of the team members were not active enough, our team composition had an ideal number of five, according to Lencioni (2004), if we could manage to encourage Peter and Mark to become active members, our team could have generated the best results from the group members. To achieve a better outcome, the team can apply participatory decision making process which is based on four co-values that includes; mutual understanding, full participation, shared responsibility and inclusive solutions (Kaner, 2007). This model can be illustrated in the table below: Fig 1: participatory decision making. Core values Their meaning The leaders role Full participation All members are encouraged to contribute towards the discussion Encourages all the members to contribute freely without fear of criticism. Mutual understanding Members should understand and accept the authenticity of every members needs and goals The members can see the need of thinking from their own point of perspective. Shared responsibility Ownership of the management and outcome of the process is shared by all members The culture of shared responsibility encourages assertiveness and collaboration. Inclusive solution The solution should include every member’s perspective and needs Encourages the members share innovative ideas which incorporates all members point of view hence leading to a consensus Personal Leadership development In my study abroad, I have immensely developed in terms of leadership skills. Leadership involves influencing a group of followers through direction, purpose and motivation with the intention of achieving a common goal and changing the organization for the better. Studying leadership helps people to join organization when they have a deeper knowledge about working through challenges, leading change and incessantly improving relationships, processes and operations. Since leadership takes many forms, when learners are enriched with it, they are equipped with skills and knowledge to contribute to political, organizational and social life. My learning institution draws upon different fields such as the libel arts, to educate learners about and for leadership. For examples, I have been empowered to use history, lenses of economics, politics, philosophy, religion, and psychology, to delve into the meaningful topic of leadership and investigate fundamental questions about how we live together, who I am, and how I impact the course of history. Furthermore, I as a learner I join learning institution in the abroad in order to better understand leadership so I can become critical, active and successful participants of my world. In several my projects, I was engaged in several teamwork tasks, which largely improved my teamwork and leadership skills. The kind of leadership style exhibited it our team significantly determined the success or failure of our project (Gastil, 1994). I also happened to be assigned the role of a group leader in several assignments. My leadership style was not endearing to group members as I was very strict. Among the three leadership styles According to Lewin, Lipitt, & Ralph (1939), my style could be categorized as autocratic. As an autocratic leader, I subjected my group member to my own views and opinions without consulting them. I decided what was suitable for the rest of the members and expected them to follow my instructions to the letter. I did not leave them room for complaints and never encouraged them to give their opinions. They had to follow my instructions for they had no choice (Lewin et al., 1939). I dictated everything that the members ought to have done in regard to the assignment; the members were not recognized as decision makers. Unfortunately, my leadership style seemed to attract rebellion and discontent from the rest of the group members (Lewin et al., 1939). This resulted from the fact that the members were not involved in decision making; and hence felt that my decisions were not suitable. Besides, they developed a negative attitude towards me and could oppose any of my decision regardless of its suitability. Contrary to the group members’ views, I personally felt that what I was doing was for the good of the group, and indeed committed a lot of time to it, a behavior that De Cramer (2006) referred to as self-sacrifice. Our leadership styles can be illustrated in the figure 1 below. On the other hand, some of my colleagues’ democratic style advocated for the collaboration of all group members towards decision making. We had to consult each other before reaching to a particular course of action (Lewin et al., 1939). Avery team member felt as part and parcel of the group and cases of rebellion were unheard of. All the team members seemed to enjoy the democratic leadership as they were all involved in the decision making process (Lewin et al., 1939). The differences between my leadership style and that of some of my friends can also draw some explanations from Cecil and Rothwell (2007) thory X and Y. My leadership style can be described as X because I viewed my subjects as less important; as I did not consider their views as important. I had to make all decisions to ensure accomplishment of our project. In my leadership, I had to give orders which were not to be questioned and constantly foresee what the group members were doing. My friends’ style which can be described as Y was participative and aimed at achieving results on the tasks and the group members as well. My friends considered all the group members as skillful and reliable and hence entrusted them with decision making. This style motivated the group members through giving them the opportunity to exploit their potential and realise their personal goals (Cecil & Rothwell, 2007). Personal Strengths and Weaknesses After undergoing through all the changes discussed above, I have come to realize that I am stronger in some areas and weak in others. Being in a foreign country allowed me to know better where I am strong to capitalize on and to improve on my weak areas to be a better person. Personal Strengths Leadership: This is one of the best concepts I was able to acquire by being in the foreign land. I developed the ability to accommodate other people, listen to their views and discuss with them to come up with a sustainable solution. Sitting with people to discuss any issue has not been my thing since childhood. I always preferred to work out my things alone, address my own problems and to come up with solutions on my own. Even my closest friend and family would not know I have done something as I always avoided informing anyone. In the foreign land however, I could not survive on my won. I had no option but to interact with the others thus improving networking and leadership skills. I expect these skills to help me to influence other people in my homeland China and to work with others to address the problems and issues my society faces. Communication: Before leaving my country China to a foreign land, I only knew Chine Language completely. I knew other languages but not to a high level. I could take time comprehending what to say at times. In fact, when I moved to the foreign land, I had to keep quiet most of the times when communicating with others. I would feel relatively embarrassed as I could not communicate very well with them. However, as time passed by, I improved on the main language in the foreign land. This was a great boost as I was able to network better with the other people making me to improve on my other areas that I was relatively weak. Personal Weakness Thinking Alone: As stated in above, I am individualist. I have always preferred to be alone when articulating issues seriously and pursuing sustainable solutions. Despite the experience from networking, I have realized that I still think well when I am alone. I am worried that this character may be a hindrance to my success in leadership in future. I have been trying to work n it but has proved futile for now. I am however confident that one day I will be able to overcome this weakness and rise to be the best leader in my society. Understanding on personal changes The changes I had to undergo have impacted me both positively and in challenging way. In both cases, there was a process of getting to appreciate the changes. Positive changes were easily embraced and were easy and fun to appreciate. For example, networking with people from other parts of the world, sharing with them and getting to appreciate their values, customs and culture was relatively easy to go through. There were period when I could not believe what I heard and would probably take sometime to come to terms with. On the other hand, the factors that were challenging were not so easy to come to terms with. For example, being away from my home country China meant that I could not longer behave the same way I would in China. At the same time, I did not know what to expect from the people I would meet in the foreign land. On arrival, the experience for the next few months was not an easy one. I experienced culture shock which led to denial and depression on how I would survive in the foreign country. However, I was determined that I would overcome all that and integrate with the mainstream Society. My strong willed character came in handy at this point. References Alper, S., Tjosvold, D., & Law, S.A. (1998). 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