Why are men unfaithful in marriage - Essay Example

Health Sciences and Medicine  2 July Why are Men Unfaithful in Marriage? Variety is the Spice of Life Exploration of diversity is the idea of the message in the phrase. Monotony can be irritating and stressful if poorly handled; that is why it needs to be spiced up. Like in any food preparation, the chef has to add a spice as an ingredient that gives food the nice flavour. Similarly, individuals believe that their lives can be more interesting if they bring in a difference. The proverb demonstrates that bringing a change or doing something different, having or experiencing it can enhance the existence of life, make it more fun, meaningful, or even remove boredom (“Variety,” byu.edu). Strictly narrowing the phrase, life is one entity, spice is a type of flavour and variety brings the diversity. Assuming one is preparing a particular type of meal, there is always the opportunity to give it a different taste every time the food is prepared. Making the meal without spice, or even using a particular spice every time and then without changes gives the meal one common taste. Hence, in life as a meal, people can remove the sameness or old boring repetitiveness by making some significant changes that bring fun and alleviate boredom. It explains why most men cannot manage to stay faithful in marriage. Reasons for Men’s Infidelity in Marriage Male erection influence: Both men and women have hidden sexual interests that are driven by differences in sexual organs, powerful to cause sexual attractions between them. Looking at their positioning of sexual organs, it is difficult to tell when a woman shows signs of sexual interest because their organs are more interior and covered than for men. For men, their genitals are external and anytime they respond to the feelings, the organs too can react by erection, which is an attraction showing sexual desires. Basically, failure and ability to perform sexually all lies in the mind if not a psychological case. That is to say, what they see or the physical factors contribute to their erection. In the thought, when a man has an erection, he definitely wants to have sex and even when it was caused by a different partner. On the other hand, the perception of some women when they see a man having an erection, is that the man appreciates, loves, or even desires them (Male health Centre, malehealthcenter.com). When a woman gives in at the influence of the man’s erection, infidelity becomes easy, because the man would finds an opportunity to relieve the energy and have the satisfaction at the moment. Erection is powerful, and without proper control, considering every human has sexual needs, no matter how close or far the man is away from his married partner, chances of engaging in extramarital affairs are quite high. Biological factors: The behaviour can be linked to biological reasons, which control or interfere with the feelings that cause attachments between individuals. These factors are embedded in what the men carry in their DNA, in either less or more quantity, probably termed as a genetic disorder. According to Thomas et al, there are numerous biological factors that have attributed to men’s extramarital sexual behaviour; they include hormones, evolutionary predisposition, and generic notions in relation to sex drive and desire (196). Different men would engage in sex outside marriage, as a response to various hormonal processes taking place in their bodies. These hormones then accelerate the sexual desires among men. According to Wayfarer, based on the investigations between infidelity and hormones conducted by Doctor Zak, the effect of a chemical reaction between testosterone, oxytocin, and arginine vasopressin hormones can cause men to commit infidelity (infidelityhelpgroup.com). Literally, the world may view men’s infidelity as only a social-economic related problem, but research has proved that it is strongly associated with genetic factors that lead male spouses astray. Oxytocin hormone level in the body plays a major role in the formation of strong bonds between partners. It is often called a love hormone and acts closely in association with the hormone vasopressin. According to Weil, the hormone can stimulate sexual arousal in impotent men, increase in level under the influence of alcohol, affect the vagus nerve that connect the brain and the sexual organ to control sex, which predispose the men into sexual affairs, due to elevation of the hormone in the bloodstream (89). The man can hence be able to form that bond when the level of hormone in the blood is high. High levels can then be termed to lead to obsessive behaviours due to establishment of the firm bond. Studies have shown that when oxytocin was given to committed men in a relationship, they distanced themselves physically from attractive ladies, compared to those who were not given, and who could stand comfortably closer to them (“Why men cheat” huffingtonpost.com). This confirms that insufficient oxytocin release contributes to their infidelity. If the man cannot form the bond with his primary partner, but can with another woman, infidelity becomes inevitable. Testosterone is very active in the male body and plays a critical role in generating a feeling of sexual attraction. Despite a man loving his wife, he can be sexually attracted to different women under the influence of the hormone that influences his or her behaviour when attracted. According to Haltzman, the hormone is found in high amounts in men than in women and this increases their sex drive, certain attributes desirable for women, and trigger the assertive behaviour (46). It also controls how much they think about sex and has a strong effect on their Libido. This then gives two options, which are the level of the hormone being either high or low, which in turn influences their desire for sex. Testosterone levels can be influenced by different situations that cause excitement and the more the level, the higher the chances of interfering with their normal behaviour, making them more prone to engage in infidelity with more sexual partners. Based on the differences in the psychological propensity of various men, Swedish researches concluded that the more the level of testosterone produced in male, the greater the likelihood of infidelity (Rabbitt, womenshealthmag.com). From another angle, the vasopressin hormone determined by the number of receptors in the male’s brain interferes with their engagement in sexual relations. Vasopressin hormone determines the extent the man is willing to go in sexual affairs to satisfy their sexual thrust. According to Ram, those men with many receptors in the brain for the release of the hormone can be satisfied easily with their sexual partners, but those with few are less satisfied and attempt to keep several affairs with a number of ladies (295). Men tend to be reckless as the reasoning power is altered to seek benefit of the situation, rather than considering the long term effects or costs. It partly explains the strong attraction and drive into sexual affairs based on irresistible and lustful behaviour. Relational problems: In the social context, certain behaviours occurring in marriage may distance the couple even though living under the same roof. Men could cheat in the process of building their self esteem, seeking love or attention which at this time, lacks from their partners, as a way of breaking up, or even expressing hostility towards their partners, for curiosity purposes ,and desire for variety (Rosenthal 224). Nagging women and conflicts in the marital life make them seek refuge in other women’s arms, and can push them to establish a bond or bear kids outside marriage. Some lack the best way to bring to an end a stressful relationship and opt to frustrate their primary partners, so they pack and move. When the strategy fails to keep off the married partner, they then prefer to have other women on the side, either with or without their spouses’ knowledge. Some men also look for something new or that which they lacked or failed to experience at a younger age; hence engage in multiple mating relationships to have a variety of choice, achieve the sexual pleasure in diversity and sometimes confirm to their peer group opinion on different sexual opinions, or conform to their wayward way of life. Sometimes it necessarily does not have to involve cheating with other female counterparts, but men can engage in homosexual affairs for crave and curiosity reasons. Works Cited Haltzman, Scott. The Secrets of Surviving Infidelity. Baltimore: The Johns Hopkins University Press, 2013. Print. Male Health Centre. “Impotence.” malehealthcenter.com. 2006. Web. 2 July, 2013. Rabbitt, Meghan. “Cheating Spouses: Why both Men and Women are Straying from Marriage.” womenshealthmag.com. 9 May, 2012. Web. 2 July, 2013. Ram, Mahabal. Fundamentals of Cytogenetics and Genetics. New Delhi: PHI learning Private Limited, 2010. Print. Rosenthal, Martha. Human Sexuality: From Cells to Society, 1st ed.: From Cells to Society. Belmont, CA: Wadsworth Cengage learning, 2013. Print. Thomas, F., Haour-Knipe, M., and Aggleton, P. Eds. Mobility, Sexuality and AIDS. New York: Routledge, 2010. Print. “Variety is the Spice of Life.” byu.edu. 4 April, 2002. Web. 2 July, 2013. Wayfarer. “Predictors for Male Infidelity.” infidelityhelpgroup.com. 29 Oct 2012. Web. 2 July, 2013. Weil, Bonnie E. Can We Cure and Forgive Adultery? Staying Not Straying. West Conshohocken, PA: Infinity Publisher, 2004, Print. “Why Men Cheat: Oxytocin Hormone Could be the Key to Infidelity.” huffingtonpost.com. 29 April, 2013. Web. 2 July, 2013.   Read More