The Question of Women and Marriage - Term Paper Example

Women and marriage Introduction The question bothering women in the contemporary society is whether they will get married or not. The desire of having a family and husband has affected the role of women and maintained their perception about marriage as an institution.The institution of marriage has been rocked by several issues ranging from financial, economic, social, and changes in the gender liberation movements. Traditionally, marriage was viewed as the ultimate goal for every man and lady. It was expected that any boy or girl who lives to maturity to get married and raise a family. Several changes have occurred both in history and in the society leading to a change in the perception of marriage. Among vital issues affecting marriage is women empowerment and independence. The rise in the fight for gender equity in all spheres of life is a sigh of progress, but is ultimately affecting the role of the woman in marriage (Goody, 1983, p. 89). Since the start of the women's liberation movement, the number of divorce and single parenting has increased significantly. Single parenting and divorce are today so common that in the next two to three decades it may be considered natural which should not be the case. The effect of women liberation and independence on marriage therefore must be reviewed so as to obtain knowledge on the new trend in marriage. Human behavior such as marriage can be explained by evaluating various aspects in marriage relationships. For instance, the choice of husband and wife will be based on asset criterion of features as the main focus instead of behavior. The choice of spouse has never changed on physical features that determine the choice. Marriage is universal bonding existing in other species, but complex in humanity. Marriage is viewed as a reproductive, social arrangement, with the involvement of the extended family. Men in marriage seek young, attractive, and faithful bride, while women seek taller and older man perceived as socially dominant. Despite the difference in preference, both sexes prefer healthy, attractive and emotionally attached mate. The change in mate value or inability to maintain it at a higher level would encourage divorce. As the cost is increasing undergoing economic and social changes, marriages are undergoing evolution. Infertility and sexual dissatisfaction may lead to divorce, but more children lead to stability in marriage. Sub-dominant men and unfaithful women will have high divorces (Smith, 2000, p.112). The changes in married spouse behavior are a product of social and economic change. Economically independent wives are prone to divorce as compared to the traditionally dependent wife signifying a change in human behavior. Currently, the marriage set up is faced with several challenges including changes in economic times which affects marriage negatively. The traditional approach in marriage has changed significantly as indication evolution in marriage. Today same sex marriages exist in the society. The gradual acceptance of a diversified approach in marriage is a sign of evolution and change. Trends in marriage and family Changes in the family can be attributed to the changes in the society ranging from the industrial to societal changes. The development of independence is as a result of perceptional changes in the family. Family members have learned to be independent leading to the independence of the family from the extended family. Young couple has learned to develop their own ways of making ends meet, thus; as they leave family ties, they in turn engage in actions that lead to the development of independence, facilitating the development of new and better methods of family independence. The nature of the family units has facilitated the ease of care because the size of families is decreasing. The decrease in size has in turn enabled the young couples to provide for themselves and satisfy the need of the family thereby increasing the independence of the family units. The development has affected the traditional roles of the family through the creation of situations that lead to neglecting of the extended family members. Extended family members are prone to neglect, and the effect may cause friction between the family members. When others feel neglected, they may blame the family members causing problems for the established family (Letourneau, 2009, p. 142). The result of the change is the defense of the traditional values existing in the extended family set-up. The interference from the extended family is reduced due to the increasing defiance of the traditional values. In summary, the values instigated by the extended family are reduced by the action of independence of the family units. It changes the influence of the extended family in a significant way. Changes in the roles of couples in marriage The role of women in the society has changed drastically owing to the changes in the society and the dynamic nature of the population and power of relationship changers. Courtship in the traditional setup was not practiced. The majority of the marriages were arranged by family members of the two families without the consent of the young couple. Some communities practiced a system of which ladies were booked from birth and during the development stage conditioned to believe the chosen spouse was the only one for him or her (Olson, 2010, p. 53). In fact, the defiance of the rule meant death or disowning by the family members including the extended family members. The spousal relationship was developed after marriage. As such, no courtship existed in the process. The set mode of family development ensured that women did not choose husband, but to take the husband chosen for them by the family. The current situation is that courtship and the selection of a spouse are a must. In fact, selection of spouse by parents for their children is outdated and if even heard of is treated with contempt as backward and outdated. The societies today practice courtship as a way of life and process in the selection of a spouse. It is rare in the current society to have a marriage that never went through the courtship process. Thus, the application of courtship and spouse selection is still a practice being undertaken by the society (Letourneau, 2009, p. 45). Marriage is a vital process in human life since people get into new and unique families. Therefore, before the women developed perception about the appropriate time of their marriage, they should consider different, but challenging concerns that will lead them to stable and happy new families they intend to create. There are numerous factors, some of which are addressed above. However, there are some essential requirements that women must adhere to including that they must learn and know how to solve problems that are known to be challenging in most marriages. Therefore, for a woman to understand it is her right time to get into marriage institution, she must understand these challenges (Malm, 1957, p.34). The marriage institution has changed for the initial provision by the husband to couple support, which includes the role of the wife in providing for the family and supporting the family programs including child upbringing. However, the main challenge in the society has been in the age of engaging in marriage. The principle of change in the family set-up is a product of the technological changes and the societal changes witnessed in the population. The change in the family setup is still growing. In recent times, the acceptance of single parent parenting has created new trends in the family set up. The independence of couples is further affecting the relationship of the spouses leading to the increased separation of couples leading to increase in single parent families. The decision making process has changed with the children engaging the process (Pastor 2011). The relationship in marriage is built on trust, love and consent between the couples. The continued problems of selection of partners and situations, such as, eloping led to the slow change from the extended family choice, to personal decision making process with a critique of the family members. Some families approved of the selected partners while others rejected them, but the fear of losing all of them led to the acceptance of the new development in marriage. The development of relationships between the spouses before marriage is courtship, which began as a result of the change. The concept of courtship enabled the participation of the woman in the process of selection of a husband. The development of the freedom of choice led to the start of courtship opening further the sphere of decision making. The lady can decide on fundamental aspects in the marriage relationship including issues such as when to get married, number of children the couple will have and other attributes of the family. The man is forced to compromise his ideas as he is no longer the sole decision maker in the family. The decisions to be made are made on consultation with the spouse and not an individual decision. Reference Goody, J. (1983). The Development of the Family and Marriage in Europe. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press. Letourneau, C. J. (2009). The Evolution of Marriage. Chicago: BiblioLife. Malm, D. (1957). The woman question. N.Y: Appleton-Century-Crofts. Olson, T. B. (2010). THE CONSERVATIVE CASE FOR GAY MARRIAGE. Newsweek, 48-54. Pastor, P. (2011, Jan 02). The next person who asks me when I'm getting married will get punched. McClatchy - Tribune Business News. Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com/docview/821895960?accountid=45049 Smith, M. B. (2000). Should I get married? Downers Grove, Ill: Intervarsity Press. Read More