Communication in a Relationship - Essay Example

Analysis of communication in a relationship The ability to communicate in a relationship can actually be much more difficult than originally it may be imagined. It comes such way because while everyone knows about importance of communication, not everyone knows the ways how to improve communication effectively. Nevertheless, even small tries may greatly improve the relationship with your spouse or partner. I have been in a rather long-term relationship as for my age: t lasted for six years, since my fourteen till twenty years old. And now I can say for sure that communication in a relationship begins with the ability to listen. It may be rather difficult, as it requires a lot of effort and understanding. But now I more deeply explored this question and may say that some years ago I had an awful lack of relationship tips to use. For instance now I understand the importance of looking into the eyes during a conversation with your partner all the time when he speaks and being sincere in own wish to understand his point of view - that is very captivating. If you do not understand something, you should not be shy to ask direct questions for clarification. You may also scroll in mind your understanding of what your beloved person tried to convey during the conversation. At least it will show that you care about good communication in your relationship, as well as that you really listen and understand his or her point of view. It does not necessary to agree with your partners point of view, but at least you should try to understand it. For me successful communication in relationships also includes expressing own feelings in a positive, constructive way. Accusations and arguments may only put the other person in the defending position. Instead, in my new relationship now I am trying to express what I feel about a particular situation and ask for my boyfriend’s opinion on how this issue can be resolved. It is important to be brief and do not wander from side to side during the discussion. For good communication it is very important to remain calm. It can be quite difficult, especially if the situation is heated up with emotions. In my previous relationship I tend to gain momentum during the conversation, and that made me more worried. It is important not to do this; otherwise the try to talk to the beloved person will fail. Finally, now I try to be sure that I have chosen the right moment to communicate with my partner about important issues, as communication in a relationship can be overshadowed by some inevitable distractions. For example it is a bad idea to call to your beloved person to work to lay out all your problems. The boyfriend may be busy and thus it will be understandable that he wouldnt give enough attention to me. Also, now I take a few deep breaths before starting a conversation, if you are angry at the moment. I am likely to aggravate the situation, if I do not feel calm and thus our conversation wont be constructive. It has always been problematic for me to say what I think. It is rather understandable, as expressing own thoughts clearly requires a lot of courage, which I do not always have. Now I realize that in my previous relationship I wanted my partner to understand the hidden meaning of the words, but in fact, it was rather unfair and inefficient. It is much better to give specific examples of the subject of the story than just coming up with ideas, as in this case the words get more sense. If I had a chance to change something in my previous relationship, I would definitely prepare a plan before starting a conversation on a topic that worries me. Because I can be upset, I can start talking to my beloved person about his shortcomings instead of focusing on the main point of view that I want to express. Therefore it is especially important before starting talking to reflect a little bit on the words you are going to say and think about the result you want to achieve. And in order to achieve a complete mutual understanding now I try to put myself in the shoes of the person who is dear to me. As there are always may be some factors of influence on his decisions about which I know nothing. Usually it helps to understand the cause of the partners behavior in a certain situation. When I come to be angry or upset, it becomes more difficult to take another persons point of view, but my method of self-control now helps to find a solution much faster. Consider honesty to be in a broad sense a mean to build confidence. It involves much more than just verbal communication. You must be honest in your actions and reactions - in all modes of expression. Honesty will help you to cope with the problems inherent in every relationship, and would pave the way for long-term trust. When you just started dating, you may credit the outwardly attractive man or woman with qualities that he or she actually does not have. Thus some adverse effects may follow, when the first stage of relations, saturation will come to end. Tendency to ascribe "beautiful" with positive qualities which they may not have at all and to attribute "not beautiful" with bad qualities stretches from childhood. As you may noticed from your own experience, beautiful people are often completely empty inside, thus next to them people suffer. And it often comes that from the first sight ugly girls and boys, who even may be not very successful in society, become real, true, reliable and good wives, mothers and fathers. But since children are not taught first of all to check internal qualities of admired person before trusting and falling in love, in adult life it is being realized in the creation of unstable family relationships. Effective communication is very important in a relationship, and it is undeniable. However, the way which you choose to follow to express your feelings and to come to a mutual agreement is equally important in your communication. If you are willing to listen and discuss pressing issues in a calm, positive way, youre more likely to get a positive result from your partner. Pay attention on how you communicate and see if there is an opportunity to improve communication in your relationship. These are another reason why you need to learn "relations", but not to create them by intuition. Thus communication - its not as difficult as it seems to be at the first glance, once you learn how to communicate openly with your beloved person, your relationship will unambiguously improve. Ignorance of these simple secrets led to the result that my previous relation exhausted both me and my boyfriend. We had mutual illusions about our individual goals, aspirations and values, which ultimately ruined our relationship. Now I have already rethinked a little my previous experience and it probably would make me happier in the future. Works Cited Miller, Rowland. Intimate Relationships. McGraw-Hill Education, 2011. Read More