Love, Sex, and Relationships in Today's Psychology - Essay Example

Love, Sex and Relationships Horan, M.S. Will It Last? Psychology Today. 1St May Web. 6Th May The interesting facet of this article is how it features today’s generation relationships (Horan). Many people involve themselves in relationships not knowing whether it will last or not. In addition, it is highly important for one to be able to predict, if the relationship one is getting into is bound to exist for the rest of there lives or not (Horan). In the recent past, study proves that, the number of divorce cases among couples is increasing at an alarming rate. This forms my basis of interest in this essay in order to know what factors contribute to a lasting relationship and how to know if it will last. In this essay, I learnt a number of factors that affect sustenance of any relationship, for instance, satisfaction and quality of alternatives, investment size and commitment. Satisfaction is due to the number of positive effects and issues one acquires from a relationship (Horan). In addition, ones satisfaction in a relationship highly depends on the degree of affection he or she receives from the other partner (Horan). Besides, I learnt that investments or resources that one enjoys from the relationship affect whether it is bound to last (Horan). Many people before putting an end to a relationship will tend to consider the privileges of being in it. For instance, affection, good reputation and comfort are some of the most considered factors (Horan) .The alternatives a person has are also important before putting a halt to a relationship. What is in store for me after separation? This is what numerous people would consider first. I also learnt that the other three factors influence ones commitment (Horan) In every relationship, that has affection leads to the satisfaction of the couple. This reflects a relationship that lasts as cited by Knox and Schacht (71). 2. Castleman, Michael. Fifty Shades of Penis Size. Psychology Today. 30Th April 2013. Web. 6Th May 2013. My interest in this essay was because it is unheard that a man would normally take time read “Fifty Shades trilogy: Fifty Shades of Gray, Fifty Shades Darker, and Fifty Shades Free” (Castleman). Fifty shades is popularly referred as a females’ book s as it is a romance domain which women highly appreciate (Castleman). In most instances, men prefer pornographic elements rather than romance, which many women fancy (Castleman). Another reason is “fifty shades” being one of the best selling books globally in just a span of two years, has already caught the attention of numerous right-minded people (Castleman). Based on this essay I learnt pornography denies love and relationships the privilege of a passionate sex especially among the spouses (Castleman). However, romance features a relationship made up of breathless sex, which is an out growth of true love (Castleman). Despite all this, the two distinct aspects both encompass and illustrate more on fantasies based on gender (Castleman). I also learnt sexual fantasies on both genders focus on their fundamental mission in life (Castleman). Based on this fact, males’ genes endure having sex with as many females as possible and the only easiest to this is pornography (Castleman). However, Females their genes tend to survive if they raise children to sexual maturity (Castleman). I learnt few women consider the size of the penis in there sexual lives and fantasies (Castleman). Based on Carroll (138) study, although there might be psychological preference for large penises among some partners, the size has no correlation with sexual excitement. Although pornographic materials present exaggerated, sizes where many women contend penises’ size does not matter during sex (Carroll 138). 3. Holmes Bjarne .Do Sacrifices in Relationships Give Happiness? It Depends. Psychology Today. 30Th April 2013. Web. 6Th May 2013. A number of issues appear significant to me that have intrigued me into preferring this essay. In the current generation, several people get into relationship in the hope of living happily ever after. However, this is not the case in other relationships. In every relationship, couples engage themselves in a number of sacrifices both big and small. However, this alone does not guarantee the happiness of the couple in a relationship (Holmes). In consideration of this essay, I have learnt that partners depend on each other in a relationship (Holmes). This means that the happiness and attitude that one proclaims in a relationship highly depends on the how the other partner is treating them (Holmes). However, through these sacrifices, we tend to show our partners how much we care for them (Holmes). Through Holmes essay, I learnt that little sacrifices we normally do for our partners makes us feel committed and close to them. However, Holmes elaborates that the positive effect of the sacrifices highly depends on the hassling experience of the day. This implies suppose one had a bad day then sacrifices made, decreases the both the satisfaction of the relationship and the closeness feeling (Holmes). When in marriage or a relationship, sacrifices is a key factor in attaining happiness (Joel 143). Study proves that a sacrifice among partners no matter how small they may appear, facilitates closeness of the two involved parties (Joel 143). 4. Long, Jamie. You're Still Single and Don't Know Why. Psychology Today. 27Th April 2013. Web. 6Th May 2013. In this article, the most intriguing aspect is how the author elaborates FEAR as the sole reason that prompts numerous people end up being single (Long). This is despite these people internally dying to find a reliable and truthful person to love them. Jamie’s approach though being brief, communicates volumes about what currently people are undergoing while in the quest of finding whom they want to settle with, but due to FEAR, fail utterly (Long). She not only presents her information in brief but also utilizes wit in coming up with more understandable approach whereby the reader will not forget essential insights, which he or she has learnt in the article (Long). Through Jamie’s article, I learnt that numerous relationships break and fail to succeed because of FEAR (Long). Mainly, this FEAR emanates from numerous and varied experiences, which an individual undergoes before meeting the person whom he or she thinks, would be a good lover (Long). For instance, childhood experiences with one’s caregiver, whereby the bond that existed during then determines how an individual will relate once he or she is in a romantic relationship (Long). Suppose a person had a secure attachment with his or her caregiver, it implies that there is a high probability his or her later romantic relationship will be healthy besides enjoying a comfortable attachment with the person one loves (Long). However, this is contrary to those who had an insecure attachment, whereby they result to experiencing anxiety coupled with developing obsessive conduct (Long). Demetre’s study regarding being single similarly presents the aspect of FEAR though indirectly by stating “I do not know why I am still single” theory (Demetre 104). Merely, this is in form of self-pity and blaming God because of being single, whereas it is FEAR that has contributed to one’s singlehood (Demetre 104). 5. Boyes, Alice. The Science of Intimate Relationships. Psychology Today. 30Th April 2013. Web. 6Th May 2013. Boyes though utilizing question answer format in featuring varied relationship aspects, her mode of approach is extremely interesting. She utilizes scientific approach, which is evident in the aspect of communication. According to numerous studies that I have read, authors cite communication as the core “ingredient” of a successful relationship. However, this is contrary to Boyes’ article whereby according to her communication can either build a relationship or destroy it based on the context of utilization as well as the parties involved. Another intriguing aspect encompasses differences between two human genders expounded based on varying levels of investments, which each gender undertakes in bearing and upbringing of children (Boyes). The basis of this hypothesis is according to both Darwin’s Sexual Selection premise and Robert Trivers’ Parental Investment premise (Boyes). In this article, I learnt about diverse theorists and their presumptions regarding relationship that have contributed immensely to the current’s studies in unveiling essential facts from a scientific perspective. For instance, John Bowlby and Darwin whom initially I thought their contributions were solely on species’ progression (Boyes). I have also learnt how culture influences the behavior of both sexes to the extent of prompting men to become keener on serious commitments (Boyes). This is especially where men’s number exceeds that of their female gender (Boyes). In addition, the female gender is extremely choosy compared to men though this is not evident with ugly women during speed-dating occasions (Boyes). Therefore, in attracting attention, ugly women tend to maintain body contact in the presence of those who are beautiful with the intention of keeping up with the competition (Boyes). The text offers an intensive elaboration of the stated topic by citing varied theories and their theorists throughout the entire article (Boyes). Hence, exhibiting how science can adequately expound certain aspects characterizing relationships, which humanity cannot merely understand, for instance, sexual selection premise by Darwin (Boyes). 6. Streep, Peg. Daughters of Unloving Mothers: 7 Common Wounds. Psychology Today. 30Th April 2013. Web. 6Th May 2013. This article’s interesting aspect is how mother’s presence or absence affects her daughter’s relationships in adulthood (Streep). Daughters usually develop early attachment with their mothers before relating with other varied people in the world (Streep). The absence of this aspect usually leads to utter misery later in adulthood when she tries to establish different relationships either personal or in the workplace (Streep). Hence, lead to seven disastrous wounds, which Streep cites to haunt daughters throughout their lives. Through this article, I have learnt mother’s love is essential in the life of her daughter. Since, it is through this love where one will be able to develop strong attachment meant to enable the daughter realize that she is smart, lovable and gain the necessary confidence (Streep). In addition, the absence of both mother’s love during daughter’s early stages prompts her to disregard adult relationships. Since, she does neither trust people who are interested in her nor herself; to the extent of not being able to advance in life, for instance, career (Streep). Dr. Max Harris in his website argues the topic as well as its content is essential in aiding a person gain self-knowledge and somehow healing after understanding its context. His emphasis is on the mother’s role, which on daily basis cites is both difficult and painful. Work Cited Boyes, Alice. The Science of Intimate Relationships. Psychology Today. 30Th April 2013. Web. 6Th May 2013. Carroll. Janelle L. Sexuality Now: Embracing Diversity, New York: Cengage Learning, 2012 print. Castleman, Michael. Fifty Shades of Penis Size. Psychology Today. 30Th April 2013. Web. 6Th May 2013. David Knox &Caroline Schacht, Choices in Relationships: An Introduction to Marriage and the Family New York: engage Learning, 2012 print. Demetre, Danna. What Happened to My Life?: Finding New Passion, Purpose, and Joy. Grand Rapids: Baker Publishing Group, 2010. Print. Holmes Bjarne .Do Sacrifices in Relationships Give Happiness? It Depends. Psychology Today. 30Th April 2013. Web. 6Th May 2013. Horan, M.S. Will It Last? Psychology Today. 1St May 2013. Web. 6Th May 2013. Joel A. Mutual Arousal: Self-Help Encouragement Words: For Healthy Living, Happiness Relationships—Etc London Strategic Insight Publishing, 2009 Print. Long, Jamie. You're Still Single and Don't Know Why. Psychology Today. 27Th April 2013. Web. 6Th May 2013. Streep, Peg. Daughters of Unloving Mothers: 7 Common Wounds. Psychology Today. 30Th April 2013. Web. 6Th May 2013. Read More