Same-Sex Marriage: A Threat to Healthy Child Development - Report Example

First and First and 21 July Same-Sex marriage: A Threat to Healthy Child Development Introduction The sexual orientation of a person is an intimate aspect of his or her life. Each person has the right to form a relationship or partnership according to his or her sexual orientation. However, those who have a homosexual orientation experience a wide range of obstacles and dilemmas when it comes to participating in social institutions such as marriage, family, and parenting. In the United States today, gays and lesbians are still to be accepted by a majority of the people as a functional part of society. Homosexuals experience rejection and negative attitudes from those around them who are not inclined that way (Pastorino and Doyle-Portillo 459). Hence, gays and lesbians are not able to participate openly in many social programs and institutions. The strongest opposition that same sex couples experience is in the aspect of parenting. This is because it is considered that same sex couples are incapable of raising a child to an acceptable state. According to Peterson, many years of research has discovered that the development and adjustment level of children who have homosexual parents is equal to children of heterosexual parents (Pastorino and Doyle-Portillo 459). However, there are many legal, social, personal, religious, and professional issues that raise problems in the path of homosexual couples establishing families. The major problem they face is in convincing people that they are capable of raising children in a healthy and positive way. Nevertheless, even though studies have proven that homosexual couples can raise children in just the same way as heterosexual couples, it has also been discovered that children of homosexual couples do not develop integrated personalities due to lack of role models of both sexes. Children who are raised in homosexual households either get influenced by all male qualities or all female qualities. Hence, to raise healthy and happy children, it is very crucial for homosexual couples to understand how children develop healthily—by providing them with both male and female role models in order to give a balance. Obstacles in Family Development Social laws and regulations were made for the purpose of allowing human development and life to be as trouble-free as possible. However, when a small portion of society acts against what is accepted as nature and social laws, it is inevitable that they will face difficulties and resistance those who are around them. It is a natural human tendency to be against any form of change because it is normal to feel safe in current surroundings. The battle between homosexuals and the rest of society is no different. Homosexual people are experiencing resistance and rejection from other people and their governments for the very reason that their sexual orientation goes against what is accepted as natural and thus indigestible by those who are around them. It is a sad fact that the strongest reason why homosexuals face in being legally allowed to form families is resistance from the government. Legal Problems A family is formed when two adults get into a serious relationship and commit themselves to a lifelong relationship together. Also, they show loyalty and responsibility towards each other by getting married. Marriage is considered a pure union and thus the couple is allowed to have babies and start their own family. However, this same union is not possible for homosexuals because their union is deviant and does not follow the law of nature. This is the primary reason why same-sex marriage is not considered legal by the U.S. government (Andryszewski 8). Same-sex marriage was first allowed in the state of Massachusetts in 2004. However, many states in the U.S. do not legally recognize same-sex marriages that take place in Massachusetts (Andryszewski 8). Other countries such as Spain, Canada, Belgium, The Netherlands, and many more have given legal recognition to same-sex marriage (Cantor et al. 152). Even still, those governments had many reasons for being hesitant in allowing same-sex marriage. The main reason is the legal hassles that same-sex marriage bring and problems regarding benefits enjoyed by U.S. families. Marriage is not a temporary, shallow, or non-serious association. There are various social, personal, professional, and financial obligations that are related to marriage (Andryszewski 8). Moreover, many government benefits are provided to married couples and their families (Andryszewski 8). However, these benefits rely solely upon the legal obligations that these partners have to each other. These obligations are based on a relationship between a man and a woman and thus are appropriate for heterosexual marriages. Sadly, as homosexual couples do not contain a partner of the opposite sex, these benefits do not apply to them. Thus, it is very difficult for them to enter into marriage and start a family. Moreover, the problem of authority over children also comes up. For example, in heterosexual marriages the male partner automatically attains the authority of fatherhood and the responsibility of looking after a child when his wife delivers a baby (Moerings 309). However, the same cannot be the case in homosexual marriages because both partners are of the same sex. A female partner does not (and cannot) acquire the rights and duties of fatherhood when her partner gives birth to a child (Moerings 309). In the same way, gay couples are incapable of handling the duties and rights of motherhood in the case they adopt a child (Moerings 309). For homosexual couples, the partner who does not give birth has to go through “an expensive and intrusive legal adoption process” to gain their legal rights and duties towards the child of their partner (Andryszewski 74). In some states in the U.S., the laws do not even permit parental authority or adoption to both partners in a homosexual association, as they are in heterosexual marriages (Andryszewski 74). There are only about dozen states that allow the second partner to adopt (Biskupic para.3). However, this has not prevented homosexual couples from coming up with innovative ways to form their own families. Efforts by homosexual couples A recent survey has revealed that more than two-thirds of the American population opposes same-sex marriage (Taylor 264). Those who are against homosexual marriages fear that if homosexual marriages are made legal, and if parenting rights are given to homosexual couples, this will lead to chaos because people will demand the right for immoral acts such as “polygamy, group marriage, incest, and marriage between children and adults,” which will destroy the existing family structure (Cantor 152). This negative attitude of some people towards homosexual couples has forced these couples to find different ways of having their own children. For example, to avoid hatred and rejection from society, gay and lesbian couples are conceiving and raising their children through collaboration and mutual understanding (Andryszewski 72). In some cases, women are being hired by gay men to get pregnant through artificial insemination so that these men can have biological children (Andryszewski 72). However, even after finding new ways to have their “own” babies, homosexual couples are facing difficulties in getting legal approval for parenthood. The reason for this is because the partner who was not involved in biological birth process finds it hard to enjoy have the right to the child in case something happens to the biological parent (Biskupic para.4). Because of this, there are many cases where homosexual couples move to states that provide legal parenting rights to the other partner and benefits to a child in case of an accident occurring with the biological parent (Biskupic para.5). In this way, homosexual couples are trying to find a way to establish their identities and make their lives as “normal” and satisfactory as possible. However, people who are opposed to same-sex marriage do not think highly of all these arrangements that are made by same-sex couples (Andryszewski 72) and believe that only heterosexual parents can provide proper nurturing to a child. It is important to note here that the fears of anti-homosexual people are valid, and the government’s hesitancy in giving parental rights to homosexual couples is justified. The Core of Family Research by Peplau and Beals (2004) has revealed that Americans consider same-sex marriage a serious threat to the traditional American family and thus believe that it is morally wrong for homosexuals to marry (Taylor et al. 264). There is great strength and truth in the concerns shown by some people towards homosexuality and their “marriages.” The problems for homosexuals are not only limited to governmental procedures and the system of marriage, but reach the roots of the family system through the emotional, psychological, and spiritual aspects of families. The family system has been designed to contain the healthy and happy development of a child that is born in the family. A child is a product of both a male and a female. Hence, for the healthy development of a child, the presence of both a father and mother is necessary while he or she is in the developmental stages (Staver 2). Hence, only heterosexual couples can provide a nourishing environment to a child because their union is a healthy one and is in sync with nature. Unfortunately, homosexual couples cannot be healthy parents for a child because they lack a healthy emotional and psychological life. Problems in Homosexual Parenting The healthy development of children is only possible when their parents are emotionally and psychologically healthy. Sadly, homosexual people are not emotionally healthy. The root of a gay or lesbian sexual orientation lies in a fractured emotional structure (Staver 2). Almost every case of homosexuality has revealed that the homosexuality is caused by the “sexual or emotional brokenness” suffered by a person (Staver 2). This means that there is a deep-rooted hurt inside a person that is still unresolved, and causes immense pain and suffering to that person (Staver 2). People who are suffering from emotional problems and pain cannot provide adequate love and emotional support to those who are around them (Staver 2). For this reason, as homosexuals are emotionally disturbed people, they are incapable of providing proper emotional support for a child. They cannot be expected to fulfill the responsibilities of marriage and parenthood in the same way as heterosexual couples. Moreover, when it comes to homosexuals raising children, an important question is raised: where are the proper role models while a child is growing up? Lack of proper role models The institution of marriage came into existence because of a child’s need of a father and mother, society’s need of babies, and the requirement of stable families to shape the sexual behavior of children born into a family (Staver 7). Sadly, all these needs cannot be fulfilled by homosexual couples as they lack healthy sexual behavior patterns. Many studies have revealed that children fail to succeed in life in the absence of either a father or mother (Staver 10). It has also been found that on average, mental illnesses and domestic violence are more prevalent in homosexual households than in heterosexual households (Staver 12). Studies have also revealed that children raised by homosexual parents suffer from mental stress, emotional maladjustment, and social problems due to the false ideas and hatred sown in their minds by their homosexual parents (Staver 9). Children who were raised by lesbian couples have described how their female parents imposed on them the idea that all males are crude and bad and the world is a better place without them (Staver 9). This shows that homosexual couples sow the seeds of their own emotional and mental problems in their children right from the start. To develop a healthy outlook towards life as well as an integrated personality, children need to be influenced by both female and male qualities (Staver 10). In the case of a child raised by homosexual couples, there is a lack of either a father figure or a mother figure. This leads to the development of a disintegrated and emotionally incomplete personality. Hence, it is not good for society to allow homosexual couples to raise children and start a family. Conclusion The reasons mentioned above show that homosexual households are not healthy places for the development of children. Homosexuals do have the right to choose a partner according to their own sexual orientation. However, when it comes to the matter of starting a family or raising children, they need to understand that if they choose to raise a child then they will indirectly impose their sexual orientation and behavior patterns on that child. In doing so, they will put the healthy development of a child in danger. Homosexuals do not have the right to harm an innocent person’s life by imposing their homosexual lifestyle and thinking patterns on him or her. The fundamentals of the healthy development of a child lies in being raised in an environment where he or she gets to see both parents, male and female, as role models. Hence, homosexual couples need to understand that they do not have the right to destroy a child’s life by snatching away the right of a child to be raised by both a father and mother, which is the law of nature. Thus, instead of fighting for their parental rights, homosexuals should focus on the root of their problems and try to resolve them in a way that does not harm anyone else. Works Cited Andryszewski, Tricia. Same-Sex Marriage: Moral Wrong or Civil Right? Minneapolis: Twenty-First Century Books, 1998. Print. Biskupic, Joan. “Same-sex couples redefining family law in USA.” USA Today. 18th Feb. 2003. Web. 15 July 2011. Cantor, Donald, Elizabeth Cantor, James C. Black, and Campbell D. Barrett. Same-sex Marriage: The Legal and Psychological Evolution in America. Middleton: Wesleyan UP, 2006. Print. Moerings, Martin. Sociolegal control of Homosexuality: a Multinational Comparison. Ed. Donald West and Richard Green. New York: Platinum Press, 1997. Print. Pastorino, Ellen and Susann Doyle-Portillo. What is Psychology. 2nd ed. Belmont: Thomas Wadsworth, 2009. Print. Staver, Mathew. Same-sex Marriage: Putting Every Household at Risk. Nashville: B & H Publishing Group, 2004. Print. Taylor, Shelley E., Letitia A. Peplau, David O. Sears, and Letita Anne Peplau. Social Psychology. 12th ed. New Delhi: Pearson Education Inc., 2006. Print. Read More