A Threat to Healthy Child Development - Essay Example

?Same Sex Marriage: A Threat To Healthy Child Development Introduction Sexual orientation of a person is an intimate aspect of his life. Every personhas a right to form relationship or partnership according to his sexual orientation. However, when it comes to participating in social institutions like marriage, family benefits, legal rights, parenting etc., then people with homosexual orientation experience various obstacles and dilemmas. In the US, gays and lesbians are yet to be accepted by people as healthy part of the society. Homosexuals experience rejection and negative attitude from people around them (Pastorino and Doyle-Portillo 459). Hence, they are not able to participate openly in many of the social programs and institutions. However, the strongest opposition that the same sex couples experience is in the aspect of parenting. This is because it is considered that same sex couples are incapable of raising a healthy and happy child. According to Peterson (2006), researches across many years have found that the development and adjustment level of children of homosexual parents is equal to the children of heterosexual parents (Pastorino and Doyle-Portillo 459). However, there are many legal, social, personal, religious and professional issues that pose a problem in path of homosexual couples establishing a family. The major problem they experience is in convincing people that they are capable of raising children in healthy and positive way. However, even though studies have shown that homosexual couples can raise children in equally healthy way as heterosexual couples, it has also been found that children of homosexual couples are not able to develop an integrated personality due to lack of role model of both sexes. Children raised in homosexual households either get influenced by only male qualities or only female qualities. Hence, in order to raise healthy and happy children, it is extremely important for homosexual couples to understand the core of healthy development of children, which lies in providing them with both, male and female role models. Obstacles in Family Development Social laws and regulations were based on the idea of making human development and human life as smooth as possible. However, when some people begin to go against nature and the social laws, then they experience problems and resistance from people around them. Homosexual people are going through resistance and rejection from people and governments as their sexual orientation is against nature and hence, indigestible by people around them. Sadly, the strongest resistance that homosexuals are facing in forming families is the resistance from the government. The Legal Problems Families are formed when two adults get into a serious relationship and commit themselves to lifelong relationship, loyalty and responsibility towards each other by getting married. Marriage is considered a pure union and hence, the couple is allowed to have babies and form their own family. However, the same union is not possible for homosexuals as their union is deviant as it does not follow the law of nature. This is the reason that same sex marriage is not considered legal by the US government (Andryszewski 8). It was in 2004 that the same sex marriage was allowed in the state of Massachusetts (Andryszewski 8). However, most of the other states in the US do not legally recognize the same sex marriages that take place in Massachusetts (Andryszewski 8). Other countries that give legal recognition to same sex marriage are Spain, Canada, Belgium, Holland etc (Cantor 152). Even then, the governments have many reasons for being hesitant in allowing the same sex marriage. The main reason is the legal hassle that same sex marriage can bring and the problems regarding the benefits enjoyed by families in the US. Marriage is not a temporary, shallow and non-serious association. There are various social, personal, professional and financial obligations related to marriage (Andryszewski 8). Moreover, there are many government benefits provided to a married couple and its family (Andryszewski 8). However, these benefits depend on the legal obligations that the partners have towards each other. These obligations are based on the relationship between a man and a woman and hence, are suitable for heterosexual marriages. Sadly, as homosexual couples lack a partner belonging to other sex, the benefits are not applicable to them. Hence, it is very difficult for them to get into marriage and start the family. Moreover, the problem of authority over child also occurs. For example, in heterosexual marriage, the male partner automatically gets the authority of fatherhood and responsibility of maintaining a child when his wife delivers a baby (Moerings 309). However, same cannot be the case in homosexual marriages. A female partner does not (and cannot) acquire the rights and duties of fatherhood when an unmarried woman in homosexual couple gives birth to a child (Moerings 309). Similarly, gay couple is incapable of handling the duties and rights of motherhood in case they adopt a child (Moerings 309). In case of homosexual couples, the partner who does not give birth has to go through “an expensive and intrusive legal adoption process” in order to gain legal rights and duties towards the child of a partner (Andryszewski 74). In case of some states in the US, the laws do not even allow parental authority or adoption to both partners in homosexual association, as they are allowed in heterosexual marriages (Andryszewski 74). There are only about dozen states that allow the adoption to the second partner in homosexual couples (Biskupic para.3). However, it has not stopped the homosexual couples from finding different ways to form their own families. Efforts by homosexual couples A survey has revealed that more than two third of American population is in opposition of same sex marriage (Taylor 264). People who are against homosexual marriages have a fear that if homosexual marriages are made legal and if parenting rights are given to homosexual couples, then it will lead to chaos as people will demand rights for any sort of arrangements like “polygamy, group marriage, incest, marriage between children and adults” etc., which in turn will destroy the existing family structure (Cantor 152). This kind of negative attitude of people towards the homosexual couples has forced them to adopt different ways of having their own children. For example, to avoid hatred and rejection from the society, gays and lesbian couples are conceiving and raising children through collaboration and mutual understanding (Andryszewski 72). In some cases, women are being hired by gay men to get pregnant with the help of artificial insemination so that they can have biological children (Andryszewski 72). However, even after adopting different means of having their ‘own’ babies, homosexual couples are experiencing difficulty in getting legal approval for their parenthood. This is because the partner, who is not involved in biological birth process, is finding it difficult to enjoy the rights of a child in case something happens to the biological parent (Biskupic para.4). Hence, there are cases where homosexual couples have to think of moving to those states that provide legal parenting rights to other partner, and benefits to a child in case of some untoward happening to the biological parent (Biskupic para.5). In this way, homosexual couples are trying to find some way or other to establish their identities and making their lives as ‘normal’ and satisfied as possible. However, people who are against the same sex marriage think low of all these arrangements made by same sex couples (Andryszewski 72) and believe that only heterosexual parents can provide proper nurturing to their children, and can become right role model for them. It is important to note here that the fears of anti-homosexual people are true, and the government hesitancy in giving parental rights to homosexual couples is valid. The Core of Family A research by Peplau and Beals (2004) has revealed that American people considers same sex marriage a serious threat to the traditional American family and hence, think that it is morally wrong to get homosexuals married (Taylor 264). There is a great validity and truth in the concern shown by people towards homosexuality and their ‘marriage.’ The problems of homosexuality are not only limited to the government procedures and marriage system, but they reach the roots of the family system through emotional, psychological and spiritual aspects of family and children. The family system has been designed keeping in picture a healthy and happy development of a child that is born in the family. A child is a product of both, a male and a female. Hence, for a healthy all round development of a child, the presence of both, a father and a mother, is necessary while he is in his developmental stages (Staver 2). Hence, only heterosexual couple can provide the nourishing environment to a child because their union is a healthy one and in sync with nature. Unfortunately, homosexual couple cannot be healthy parents for a child because they themselves lack a healthy emotional and psychological life. Problems in Homosexual Parenting Healthy development of children is possible only when the parents are emotionally and psychologically healthy. Sadly, homosexual people are not emotionally healthy. The root of gay or lesbian sexual orientation lies in fractured emotional structure (Staver 2). Virtually, every case of homosexuality has revealed that the homosexuality is caused by “sexual or emotional brokenness” suffered by a person (Staver 2). This means that there is a deep seated hurt inside that person which is still unresolved, and causes immense pain and suffering to that person (Staver 2). People who are suffering from emotional problems and pain cannot provide adequate quality of love and emotional support to people around them (Staver 2). Hence, as homosexuals are emotionally maladjusted people, they are incapable of providing proper emotional support to a child. One cannot expect them to fulfill the responsibilities of marriage and parenthood as good as heterosexual couples do. Moreover, when it comes to homosexuals raising children, there comes an important question and that is, the question of having proper role models while they are growing up. Lack of proper role models The institution of marriage came into existence because of children’s need of both, a father and a mother, society’s need of babies, and need of stable families in order to shape the sexual behavior of children born in the family (Staver 7). Sadly, all these needs cannot be fulfilled by homosexual couples as they lack healthy sexual behavior pattern. Numerous studies have revealed that in absence of either a father or a mother, children fail to do well in their lives (Staver 10). It has also been found that on an average, mental illness and domestic violence is more prevalent in homosexual household than in heterosexual household (Staver 12). Studies have also revealed that children raised by homosexual parents suffer from mental stress, emotional maladjustment and social problems due to wrong ideas and hatred sown in their mind by their homosexual parents (Staver 9). Children raised by lesbian couples have described how their female parents impose them with the idea that all the males in the world are crude and bad, and that world is a better place without them (Staver 9). This shows that the homosexual couples sow the seeds of their own emotional and mental problems in their children right from the beginning. To develop a healthy outlook towards life and an integrated personality, children need the role models of both, the female qualities and the male qualities (Staver 10). In case of children raised by homosexual couples, there is a lack of either a father figure or a mother figure, which leads to the development of disintegrated and emotionally incomplete personality. Hence, it is not good for the society to have homosexual couples raise children and make a family. Conclusion The above discussion shows that homosexual household is not a healthy place for the development of a child. Homosexual people do have a right to choose a partner according to their sexual orientation. However, when it is a matter of starting a family or raising children, then they should understand that if they raise a child, then they will indirectly impose their sexual orientation and behavior pattern on the child. In doing so, they will put a healthy development of a child in danger. Homosexual people do not have a right to harm an innocent person’s life by imposing their ‘homosexual’ lifestyle and thinking pattern on him. The core of a healthy development of a child lies in being raised in an environment where he gets to see a role model of both, a father and a mother. Hence, homosexual couples should understand that they do not have a right to destroy a child’s life by snatching away the right of a child to be raised by a father and a mother, which is the law of the nature. Hence, instead of fighting for their rights, they should focus on the root of their problems and try to resolve it. Works Cited Andryszewski, Tricia. Same-Sex Marriage: Moral Wrong or Civil Right? Minneapolis: Twenty-First Century Books, 1998. Print. Biskupic, Joan. “Same-sex couples redefining family law in USA.” USA Today. 18th Feb. 2003. Web. 15 July 2011. Cantor, Donald et al. Same-sex Marriage: The Legal and Psychological Evolution in America. Middleton: Wesleyan UP, 2006. Print. Moerings, Martin. Sociolegal control of Homosexuality: a Multinational Comparison. Ed. Donald West and Richard Green. New York: Platinum Press, 1997. Print. Pastorino, Ellen, and Susann Doyle-Portillo. What is Psychology. 2nd ed. Belmont: Thomas Wadsworth, 2009. Print. Staver, Mathew. Same-sex Marriage: Putting Every Household at Risk. Nashville: B & H Publishing Group, 2004. Print. Taylor, Shelley, Peplau, Letitia and Sears, David. Social Psychology. 12th ed. New Delhi: Pearson Education Inc., 2006. Print. Read More