Authoritarian Parents: Communication Between Parents and Their Children - Research Paper Example

itarian and itative Parenting Styles It is undeniable that parental influence especially at early stages of child development plays a pivotal role in growth of a child. How a parent brings up a child will determine the kind of a person the child will become in maturity. The behaviour of a child is largely determined by the upbringing of the child during growth. The mode of parenting determines the reasoning of a child and perception about life, situations, and incidences that the child is faced with in life. The genes of a child, peers, gender, and financial status of the parents have minimal influence on the child’s life. Largely, parenting affects school performance of a child and more significantly, the temperament of a child. Additionally, sexual activeness, alcoholism and substance abuse and self-perception primarily depend on the quality of upbringing. This paper discusses the authoritarian and the authoritative of parenting styles. Authoritarian parenting style also known as dictatorial or harsh parenting is a style of parenting where a parent does not compromise in the disciplining of the child by warmth or nurturance. The parent is more inclined towards parent-to-child communication channel, and totally opposed to child-to-parent channel of communication (Cherry web). High expectations are bestowed by the parent on the child, with the parent expecting excellent performance of the child in every sphere of life. An authoritarian parent has little affection towards the child, is emotionally and physically distant and detached, and shows signs of reservation and remoteness from the child. In this style of parenting, parents are instructive of their children and mostly order them. They ignore the opinions of children as a group, and oppose verbal exchanges between the parent and the child (Sarac 1). These types of parents highly value obedience, respect and tradition. Such a parent is always right, and hardly respects the opinion of a child, physically punishing a child in the event of a mistake. The obedience of the child to the parent is of course the fear of punishment, making them passive. Such a style is passed downwards to the child by the parent and adopts it as an adult, where it is likely to be the mode of parenting the child adopts (Benson and Marshall 283). Authoritative parenting style on its part is high on warmth and the parent is friendlier to the child. The parent is moderate on discipline and the level of communication between the child and the parent is high. The parent is actually moderate on the future expectations of the child, focusing on nurturing the child more, with a lot of compassion by creating a loving home environment, and providing a high degree of emotional support. These parents are more firm on their children, show consistency and are fairness in dealing with their children (Benson and Marshall 282). The mode of disciplining their children takes the form of rational and issue oriented strategies in order to allow conformity to group standards of the child. Such parents are keen in establishing behaviour standards for the children to follow. The family structure in the case is democratic and dictatorial as parents mostly use reason, allow for negotiations and persuasion rather than force to the children. This style of parenting operates on a level ground of demands and listening. Children who grow up under authoritative style of parenting are given alternatives, with the parents encouraging them to be decisive, while teaching them to accept the responsibility for their actions and decisions (Hoder web). The resultant of this style is self-empowerment since the views and opinions of the children are respected. An authoritative parent sets standards and appropriate modes of behaviour to encourage the development of the child. The parents are also ready and willing to help their children and forgive them for a mistake if the parents’ standards are met. The two styles of parenting are very different from each other and contrast in many ways. While an authoritative parent is warm and moderate on discipline, an authoritarian parent is harsh on the child and very strict on discipline. The authoritarian child has no freedom and the parent is unlikely to be forgiving unlike in the authoritative child who has more freedom and is not dictated too much by the parent. The freedom allows the child time to be alone and weigh the opportunities available and make decisions alone, thus faster maturity. While discipline in the authoritative style is aimed at making the child more responsible for personal actions and issue oriented, discipline in authoritarian style is meant to stop the child from doing a mistake without explaining what is right and wrong. Such a child will avoid making a mistake for fear of the severe punishment from the parent, while in authoritative, the child will not make a mistake because they know it is not the right thing to do. Thus, children raised by authoritative parents are likely to be people that are more responsible at maturity unlike the authoritarian parents who are likely to be violent and arrogant (Shaffer and Katherine 612). Authoritarian parents discourage communication between parents and their children, and are likely not to tolerate child-to-parent communication. These children cannot share with the parents any issues affecting them for fear of being punished. They are likely to suffer in silence by keeping everything to themselves, while in authoritative children, the parent allows for open communication allowing the child to be emotionally attached to the parent (Shellenbarger web). Sharing of a problem by the child to the parent is easy since the child trusts the parent more. A child raised by an authoritative parent is likely to be a good decision maker in comparison to an authoritarian’s child. This is because the child is used to making personal decisions, thus more accountable. However, an authoritarian child has never made a personal decision, and since they are mostly answerable to their parents, they are likely to be poor decision makers (Balter 55-56). From the above discussed styles of parenting, a conclusion can be drawn that while an authoritative parent is likely to be a good parent, an authoritarian parent is not. The two modes are however free for any parent to choose, although most parents prefer to incorporate both of them while bringing up their children. Works Cited Balter, Lawrence. Parenthood in America: An Encyclopedia. Santa Barbara, Calif: ABC-CLIO, 2000. Print. Benson, Janette and Marshall Haith. Social and Emotional Development in Infancy and Early Childhood. London: Academic, 2009. Print. Cherry, Kendra. Psychology: Parenting Styles. Web. 21 March 2013. Hoder, Randye. “Who Says American Parents Are Inferior?” New York Times. 6 February 2012. Web 21 March 2013. < http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/02/06/who-says-american-parents-are-inferior/> Sarac, Suheyla. “Parenting Styles: How They Affect Children.” Culture and Society: The Fountain of Life, Knowledge, Knowledge and Belief Journal 34 (2001): Issue 34 / April - June 2001. Web 21 March 2013. < http://www.fountainmagazine.com/Issue/detail/Parenting-Styles-How-They-Affect-Children> Shaffer, David and Katherine Kipp. Developmental Psychology: Childhood and Adolescence. Belmont, CA: Wadsworth Cengage Learning, 2010. Print. Shellenbarger, Sue. “Ambitious Parents, Mellow Children.” The Wall Street Journal. 19 October 2011. Web 21 March 2012. < http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970204479504576638950410953960.html> Read More