Counseling Related to Death - Essay Example

? Counseling related to death Introduction Defining death is more complicated than it actually appears. It is not death that scares people but the actual process of dying and one’s nonexistence after death. Death is defined as the termination of biological functions in a body. The concept of death is the key to understanding the phenomenon of life and after life. Man fears what is not in control and what is unknown. Death is the most inevitable part of life and the most difficult scenarios to handle. (Death, Wikipedia) I. Death portrayed in Media Death is generally hidden from the public but this is not true in the mass media arena. Obituaries are a very common way of honoring and paying tribute to one’s loved ones through the local newspaper. There have been deaths of famous people such as Diana, princess of Wales; popular actress Ellen Terry and many more of whom the media used the coverage to communicate and express moral messages. In addition to this, the media also writes auto biographies on famous personalities having terminal conditions like cancer and AIDS, near to death experiences etc. This causes the readers and viewers to look up to them as heroes. Another source of media is the movies and cinemas which depict different approaches to death. It engages the audiences with range of questions and answers regarding death. Some sections of the society feel visual depictions of death in some movies are gruesome. (Field, 2003) II. Grief counselors To cope up with the grief and sadness, professionals help is required sometimes. Grief counselors have a very important role to play in facilitating the normal coping process of a person. Grief counselors are trained to handle emotional situations and help people cope with death of loved ones. They are expected to be emotionally stable, matured, understanding and not have a fear of death. This profession can be disturbing in many ways but also fulfilling to see people come out of the difficult situations. They are also required to have genuine and legitimate interest in helping people come to terms with such complicated situations. They are also required to be good listeners and good communicators who are sensitive to people issues. The counselors are required to be very compassionate and strong minded to help others deal with their grief. (Grief Counseling, 2011) What type of tasks do they have to perform? These counselors are required to set out 4 tasks of mourning. The person mourning is required to accept the reality slowly, to work on emotions associated with the loss which could mean mentally and physically; to learn how to live life without the person for survival and the last task would be to help the person find a new place in another persons emotional life.( Bereavement counseling) The main goal of a grief counselor varies from person to person and the kind of loss. However, working with a typical client the goal of a counselor is to- Educate the person about the grieving process and ensure information is provided at every stage Listening to the client and offering non judgmental advice would provide additional support Creating a plan for the client to move on with their life Help the client bond with the deceased through letter writing, talking and performing rituals. (Grief Counselor, 2008) Find out how people are prepared for work that involves death? To become a grief counselor, emotional competence is required which is a key component of this profession. This profession also requires people to have emotions in control and being supportive. Many grief counselors are professionally qualified to handle such situations and help people cope up with the loss. (Grief Counselor, 2008) How do they feel about the work and any aspect they find difficult? Most of the grief counselors choose this profession only if they are emotionally strong and are good listeners. This profession is a proven and an effective way of helping people to get through their emotional anxieties. In majority of the cases, the actions of the grief counselors matter and help the people. The idea of helping people move on with their live can be very satisfying and fulfilling. On the other hand, it is also a very difficult and weird job to be taken as a career. These grief counselors are required to be unbiased, neutral parties who are required not to judge their clients. It requires lot of time, to engage people, establish rapport, making the client feel comfortable talking about their loved ones and there is a lot of emotional exhaustion that may occur to many counselors. It can also be frustrating for these counselors to spend months on a client, listening to the client’s troubles and misery. There is a lot of stress involved in this job and the obvious ones are the sadness and the pain that the people deal with. It is also difficult to separate work from personal life and it is hard not to take it home. (Ali et al, 2010) III. Interview with the nurse about the problems and challenges faced Nurses are supposed to be a patient’s advocate who understand what the patients are going through. Nurses play an important role for patients at all stages of disease from clinical therapy, diagnosis to death of a patient. A nurse role is very multi dimensional as they need to constantly adjust to different patients’ needs and families. The attitude towards life and death of nurses influence their care towards their dying patients. Taking care of the terminally ill patients is more difficult as it requires great dexterity and expertise knowledge. If the nurses have a negative attitude towards death, they will not be able to take on the patients in an effective way. It is important that the nurses have the following characteristics in order to provide effective care- Flexibility in interpersonal attitude Positive attitude towards life and death Open communication about the status of the patients Psychological mind to help the patients and their families to face death What is the most difficult problem for a nurse in handling death? According to Ruggles death of a patient is a hard reality in nursing profession and one must deal with it in a strong way. Losing patients is normal and is part and parcel of the job especially when they are working in the emergency, cardiac and Oncology department. It is also difficult and hard for them not to think about such incidents after getting back home. Some nurses also face two or more deaths in a day which can be a traumatic experience. Nurses are required to be focused on the needs of the dying patients and required to set aside her emotional feelings during work. It is also difficult to see how helpless the patients families are, there are times even nurses break down. There is a high turnover, burnout especially with the hospice nurses as their work can be disturbing. Nurses find it difficult in balancing the sensitivity of the patient’s life and the realistic outcome of the time left for the patients to live. (Ruggles, n.d) One of the death experiences that nurse Rebecca I interviewed remembers the most is the first patient that she ever lost. He was a small boy suffering from cancer and he could feel that he was approaching death. Rebecca being new to the profession and inexperienced didn’t know the kind of emotions that she would face. She was called into his room and asked if the boy could hold her hand. The boy told her that he wanted to become a doctor when he grew up and that he would miss his family members. He began to drift off and his breathing became slow. He thanked Rebecca for taking care of him during his illness, he smiled and he closed his eyes. The death of a favorite patient has a huge impact on the one’s personal life. Although nurses are expected to handle such situations and be mentally prepared, there are times that the nurses will have a break down. Having a strong bond with the patients and being compassionate is very essential in a nursing profession but it can be traumatizing to experience the death of a patient. The preparation that the nurse has in the medical school to face such situations is very critical. Not everyone who joins the nursing profession is emotionally strong. There is a separate teaching on death education that provides both theoretical and practical knowledge. This includes sharing personal experiences of family members, role playing, group discussions and simulation trainings. The instructions that are delivered to the students are by known professors and doctors who have been in the profession for a long time. The medical school prepares them to deal with such situations such as knowledge, skill competency, sensitivity to issues and awareness of the situations. They are also taught about the psychological mindset of a patient and family members and their attitude towards death. The medical school provides basic principles and knowledge on subject matter, inter personal communication, support and counseling to the family members. (Green et al, 2005) IV Personal Experiences of family members I recently interviewed a person Neil who lost his grandfather who died of cancer. It took a lot of time for Molly to accept the harsh reality but he was very positive that his dad would fight the disease. It was a very good source of inspiration for Molly to think about his grand dad who fought the disease so hard and never gave up. He died with honor and dignity, surrounded by his family members. Molly handled the death of his grand dad in a positive way. He had a very good support system that helped him accept reality and move on with his life. The family started donating more than $10,000 to the people suffering from cancer. In this way Molly felt he was able to honor his grand father and also help people who were suffering from the same disease. The main reason why Molly was able to easily cope up with the death of his grand father was because he wanted him to celebrate life. It was a very meaningful death as it helped Molly realize how important it is to live and fight for life. I had another interview with a mother who lost her baby recently in an accident. Losing a loved one suddenly can shake the foundation of life. The ultimate grief of any parent would be death of a child and the effects are usually distressing. For the mother, this would be an excruciating experience especially if it is a single child. The sudden death of Paula’s son Mike plunged her into sadness and grief. The loss of her child made her a spiritual person which helped Paula heal and grow. She also mentioned that losing one’s child and living with it on a day to day basis is hell and only people who go through that would understand the pain it involves. She also makes it a point to visit her child’s grave every month which also helped her in accepting it. She also found it comforting to remember the good days and happy memories which helped her get through and overcome her loss. She also joined a support group with parents who had similar experiences and handled the grief. Conclusion: It was a very difficult day after the interviewing the families who lost their loved ones. Grief is a natural feeling that happens and to see how people handle it differently and fighting it, is a part of the whole process. When tragedy occurs, emotions are strong and the best way to handle these emotions is to grieve. I also noticed that there are various levels of bereavement depending on how close and integral the diseased person was to the person. Good support from professionals, family, friends, pets and spiritual guides can help one people get out of grief and accept change as a part of living. Literary References Ali W.G.M, Ayoub N.S, (2010)Nurses Attitude towards Caring for Dying Patient in Mansoura University Hospitals, Journal of Medicine and Biomedical Sciences, ISSN 2078-0273, 15-22 Bereavement counseling, Creative Counseling, retrieved 22nd April 2011, http://www.creativecounselling.org.uk/bereavement.html Death (22nd April 2011) In Wikipedia, The free Encyclopedia, retrieved 22nd April 2011, from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death Field D (2003) Death and the Media, Department of Epidemiology and Public Health, University of Leicester Grief counseling (17th April 2011) In Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia, retrieved 22nd April 2011, from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grief_counseling Green D.S, McCorkle R, Cherlin E, Hurzeler R.J and Bradley E.H, 2005, American Journal of Critical Care, 14:64-70 Grief Counselor, (2008) All psychology careers, retrieved 21st April 2011, http://www.allpsychologycareers.com/career/grief-counselor.html Ruggles T, How Nurses can Grieve the Loss of a Loved One or Special Patient, retrieved 22nd April http://www.workingnurse.com/articles/How-Nurses-Can-Grieve-the-Loss-of-a-Loved-One-or-Special-Patient Read More