Arranged Marriages - Essay Example

Arranged Marriages Arranged marriage is an approved mating arrangement between two people who are introduced to each other by parents, or the families have known one another even before the marriage (Beverly 14). In this case, the parents or relative chose, evaluate, and approve people whom they think can be good spouses for their children. In these types of marriages, it is not love that brings the couples together, but arrangement based on mutual agreement. In some cases, they marry as complete strangers hoping that love will develop after they get to know each other. These marriages are a contrast to the other marriages that people make their own decision to marry each other based on love. Researchers have noted that couples in arranged marriages have fewer chances of getting divorced, and with the recent spike in divorce, these arranged marriages could be the solution to preventing divorce. In arranged marriages, couples readily get blessings of the parents and social acceptance from the community, which is essential for support when they have issues. It is normal for a couple in marriage to have issues and challenges, but if these issues are left unresolved, then chances of divorce become high. In arranged marriages, the couple has the support of both parents and the community, and thus, during conflicts, they can seek the support of these people to solve their issues (Beverly 16). Moreover, the parents or aunties are better experienced in marital issues, and thus, they are better equipped in helping the couple to handle marital challenges that they may come across from time to time. In love based marriages, since couples met on their own they tend to solve their problems on their own, and when they fail, they stop communicating, which is the first step towards divorce. A successful marriage is all about understanding and communication, and this is the foundation of arranged marriages. Although people in arranged marriage marry without being in love first, sociologists have noted that, in countries where people practice arranged marriage the rate of divorce is not as high as in countries where the people chose their own partners and marry (Liu 49). For example, among the Indian community, they highly practice arranged marriage, and as a result, divorce is very rare. This arises for several reasons both negative and positive. First, couples in arranged marriages are bound by religious and cultural obligations, which make it hard to divorce. In some cases, even if the marriage does not work out, staying married is a better option than getting a divorce, for example, as a divorcee one may suffer from stigmatization, particularly, in cultures where the social norms do not allow divorce (Liu 48). Secondly, certain cultures have in place processes in place to solve conflicts between couples in arranged marriages, before they resort to the final decision of divorce. This is helpful since most divorce decisions are based on irrational reasons; hence, by the time the process is over, a couple would have thought through and made rational decisions, and in most cases, abandons the decision to get divorced. Another reason why divorce is rare in Indian community is that the partners are chosen way back when they are still children, and thus, by the time they marry, they know each other well, and the families also know each other. Moreover, they are prepared psychologically and emotionally to live with their chosen partners, which reduce chances of disagreements and divorce. Arranged marriages are done by parents or relatives who know their children well, especially with regard to characters; hence, they match them with partners with compatible qualities. Divorce cases result from the incompatibility of partners whereby people fall in love, but after staying together for a while, they realize that they are incompatible with respect to their personalities. This then causes frequent disagreements that amount to a major conflict, finally, causing a divorce. Therefore, marrying a partner with compatible qualities as your own play a great role in reducing conflicts in marriage; thus, reducing divorce. Finally, in arranged marriages partners have no high expectations as they are not aware of what is awaiting them, which makes them ready deal with all the marital challenges (Liu 49). Another cause of divorce is having high expectations about a partner, but entering into marriage, they fail to live up to these expectations. As a result, disappoint creeps in and once this happens, it opens the door to divorce. Nevertheless, critics argue that arranged marriages have high rates of divorce because the relationship between married couples is not health and lack, as they are complete strangers. Moreover, these lead to feelings of insecurity and low self-esteem for one or both couples. Insecure people are always unhappy in their marriages and may resort to divorce. However, when it comes to divorce, love is rarely an issue since most couples divorce on grounds of communication breakdown, incompatibility, and infidelity among other reasons. Therefore, as much as love is important, what stand to win during challenges are understanding, communication, compatibility and tolerance. Additionally, the fact that a couple is in arranged marriage does not automatically means that their relationship is unhealthy. Unhealthy relationship can exist even between couples in love arrange. This is because developing a healthy relationship depends on the determination and commitment of both partners, and not the way they met (Liu 50). The feelings of insecurity and low self-esteem are overcome with time once the couple gets to know each and bond. Thus, arranged marriage remains the better solution for overcoming the recent hype in divorce. Evidently, cases of divorce have increased at an alarming rate in the world today. Therefore, there is a need to develop a solution that would reduce these rates, and arranged marriages could be the solution that the world so badly needs. In arranged marriages, there is social acceptance and ready support from parents and families, which helps during conflicts. In addition, couples are bound by cultural obligations that may limit the chances divorcing. Finally, parents choose partners who have compatible characteristics with their children, and these children also enter into marriage with fewer expectations, which reduces the possibilities of conflicts that may lead to divorce. Hence, arranged marriages are capable of preventing the recent spike in divorce. Works cited Beverley, Jo. An Arranged Marriage. New York, NY: Kensington Pub. Corp, 2005. Print. Liu, Xuemei. "Optimal Dynamic Path of Effort on Marriage: Differences between Arranged and Love Marriages." Applied Economics Letters. (2007): 49-52. Print Read More