The Effects of Arranged Marriages on Women in India - Research Paper Example

Teacher’s ID The Effects of Arranged Marriages on Women in India Introduction Arranged marriages are a common social norm in Asian culture. This norm is more eminent in Indian culture, a land mainly comprising of rural areas with limited financial resources and lack of education in citizens. Arranged marriages where seen as a source of social bonding between two families and a support for newly wedded couple due to involvement of elder family members, has its downsides that mainly affect women more than men. In arranged marriages, dowries are a custom that is meant to be followed. Husband’s or in-laws’ expectations when not met in this regard often result in a never ending experience of physical and mental abuse for women. In addition to that, failure to give dowry also leads to delayed marriages which is also another social stigma experienced by Indian women. Where marriage provides an opportunity to a couple for satisfying their social, libidinal and emotional needs, lack of understanding, extreme differences in opinions and inability to compromise often results in marital problems. Since women spend more time in domestic settings, rate of depression and other psychological problems is more eminent in them due to lack of outlet of negative emotions. The situation tends to be more difficult for educated men and women who are habitual of having personal independence before marriage. Sexual encounters with unknown partners after wedding also tends to be a stigmatic experience for Indian women which can affect their approach towards men on long-term basis. Absence of long-term nurturing or general know-how of future husband’s nature, extra involvement of in-laws in decisions of couples and sacrificing one’s priorities unwilling i.e. career and education, can be triggers that may affect marital life in case of arranged marriages. Arranged marriage system also provides more dominance to men over their wives which further endanger welfare of women due to very foundation of this social system. Comparing advantages and disadvantages of arranged marriages in India, it is important to identify if demerits of arranged marriages for Indian women outweigh benefits offered by this social phenomenon. 2. Advantages of Arranged Marriages Matchmaking in Indian culture is a common social function performed by elders, extended family and friends and is considered as a source of references for acquiring eligible bachelor or bachelorette for daughters and sons of the family. With involvements of elders and dominant family figures in this search, the resultant is a social, economic, religious and cultural compatibility between two families which is also expected between spouses as well. This is precisely the reason why some non-resident Indian families also tend to seek partners for their sons and daughters from India (Kalpagam 207). It is also important to note that divorce rates are expected to be lower in arranged marriages due to presence of third parties and social support provided by family members for conflict resolution among a wife and husband (Bentley n.p; ‘Arranged/ Forced’ n.p). Furthermore, divorce is considered as stigma in Indian culture especially for women therefore arranged marriages provide more support against couples’ divorces which also saves their social stature in Indian culture. Also, strong family ties are an integral part of Asian and other ethnic cultures i.e. Indian, Chinese, Greek and Latina. In addition to that, ignoring personality differences, couples of arranged marriages are relatively less influenced by environmental factors i.e. financial or social dominance of one partner over other since they have been already considered, and discord with other family members hampering effectiveness of marital life. Lastly, arranged marriages began with little expectations since nature of partner is usually unknown for man and woman. Therefore, they are more likely to tolerate differences among them as compared to love marriages that may have superficial expectations and may base on sex appeal and external outlook of man and woman (Bohn n.p). 3. Disadvantages of Arranged Marriages Arranged marriages in Indian culture are usually accompanied by heavy dowry which is a huge criterion for social standing of woman in the house of her in-laws. Parents’ failure to satisfy their in-laws cultivates grounds of social degrading and sometimes physical torture for their daughter after marriage (Anderson 169). This inability to give dowry also leads to delayed marriages for Indian women which also add to social disgrace experienced by them (Desai and Andrist n.p). Extra parental control of family’s elders over choosing wives for their sons, often lead to selection of women with lower education as compared to their sons which may create compatibility issues among couple (Dasgupta, Maitra and Mukherjee 2). Also, selecting underage brides for their sons is also a norm especially in rural areas of India. Physical and mental abuse is further aggravated in case of young brides as they are relatively less mature and equipped to protect them (‘Arranged Brides’ n.p). On the other hand, selecting educated women for sons may have an intention of making them an earning source for the family after marriages. This norm is more common especially in families where sons are moving abroad for employment and would like their wives to support them in earning livelihood despite women being willing to stay at home (Kalpagam 195). Another downside of arranged marriage for educated Indian women is contradiction between their pre-marriage and after-marriage stature where they used to have more freedom in personal matters. Also, having an employment adds to financial independence to Indian women. Lack of autonomy despite having financial resources tends to create difficulties for such women and makes adjustment in arranged marriage complex for women (Krishnan 82). Furthermore, feminist repertoire considers marriage as a social construct that is used as a key criterion for gender hierarchies (Desai and Andrist 667). Hence, in societies where women’s consent is undermined in marital decisions, social status of women in her family is also lowered which also affects the way in which couples’ relationship operates. Also, women empowerment in household choices even in menial matters may be subjected to approval of elders or husband which undermines their autonomy and will to run her own household that may add to distress experienced by them (Desai and Andrist n.p). Yalom and Carstensen (n.p) insist that arranged marriages are subject to power inequities especially in Indian culture. Furthermore, wives are considered as the spouse responsible for marriage management. As a result of this expectation, Indian women are more expected to manage house, perform career sacrifices while having lesser negotiating power in such relationship. Another criticism on arranged marriages by Yalom and Carstensen (n.p) is that such system perpetuates a perception of women being property of their family which gives rise to higher risks of physical abuse by their in-laws. Although possibility of violent behavior by spouse is not limited to arranged marriages only, the very system of arranged marriages is dependent on the construct of women being the inferior part of the family. Where love and romance matters more for female gender, nurturing feeling and affection for the partner takes longer to develop for partners in arranged marriages and for some these emotions become second priority with household, stable family and children taking the first place (Kalpagam 205-210). Another important aspect of difficulties faced by Indian women in arranged marriages is depression in stay-at-home wives. Working women have an opportunity to step out, socialize and let go of emotional burden caused by stressors of arranged marriage. On the other hand, housewives are usually confined in the same space being the stimulant of depression. The situation further aggravates when women have to spend prolonged time with in-laws who are already interfering in the matters of couple. Where involvement of other family members can be healthy for serious conflict resolution, there are matters which should remain in between a wife and husband only. Such circumstances alleviate risks of depression in housewives (Niaz 62). Where circumstances caused by arranged marriage may lead to emotional distress for Indian women after marriage, the situation tends to worsen for women with identified mental illnesses before getting married. According to Behere, Rao and Verma (287), stress of uncertain conditions, dowry, adjusting with in-laws, continuing treatment for recognized illness, first sexual encounter and child birth when she is not ready to rear a child, can be circumstances that Indian women may have to go through in case of undesired arranged marriages. Since men and women are often allowed minimal courtship in arranged marriages, there is lack of understanding and comfort that is required to initiate sexual intimacy. Lack of necessary chemistry at the time of first encounter and presence of a complete stranger can be a highly uncomfortable experience for women. Also, if the partner is not considerate to woman’s concerns, the whole experience may turn into a negative approach, scarring woman regarding libidinal needs and other men (Krishnan 18). Although women are given advices about such encounters in arranged marriages but they are of little help since Indian women find it difficult to discuss such issues due to social stigma attached to them. Also, an unfavorable experience right after marriage may make it difficult for men and women to proceed with a positive mindset in initial period of arranged marriage. 4. Conclusion Arranged marriage is one of the most commonly recognized and well-accepted social systems in Indian society. Where this system facilitates families and a couple to tie knots on the basis of mutually understandable cultural, social, economic and religious grounds, the demerits greatly outweigh benefits offered by it. Lack of independence and privacy, superficial expectations of in-laws and their influence over couple’s decisions, demands of dowry and physical abuse emerging from it, and women being the partner mainly responsible for keeping the family together while sacrificing their own wishes, are some of the factors that may exert undue pressure on Indian women. Although some of these circumstances may exist in love marriages as well, mutual understanding and nurturing among a man and woman may make resolution of such problems more amicable for a couple and especially favorable for Indian women. Works Cited “Arranged/ Forced Marriage Statistics.” Statistic Brain. N.p, 2012. Web. 15 Dec. 2013. “Arranged Marriage: CNN Examines the Age-old Practice in India”. Huffingtonpost. The Huffington Post, 2012. Web. 15 Dec. 2013. Anderson, Siwan. “The Economies of Dowry and Bride price.” Journal of Economic Perspectives 21.4 (2007): 151-174. Behere, Prakash., Sathyanarayana T.S. Rao and Kiran Verma. “Effect of Marriage on pre-Existing Psychoses.” Indian Journal of Psychiatry 53.4 (2011): 287-288. Bentley, Paul. “‘Why an Arranged Marriage ‘is’ More Likely to Develop into Lasting Love.” The Dailymail. Metro Media Group, 4 Mar. 2011. Web. 15 Dec. 2013. Bohn, Martin. “The Benefits of Arranged Marriages.” Suite 101. N.p, n.d. Web. 15 December 2013. Dasgupta, Indraneel., Maitra Pushkar and Diganta Mukherjee. “‘Arranged’ Marriage, Co-Residence and Female Schooling: A Model with Evidence from India.” Institute for the Study of Labor. N.p, Feb. 2008. Web. 15 Dec. 2013. Desai, Sonalde and Lester Andrist. “Gender Scripts and Age at Marriage in India.” Demography 47.3 (2010): 667-687. Kalpagam, U. “‘America Varan’ Marriages among Tamil Brahamans: Preferences, Strategies and Outcomes.” Indian Journal of Gender Studies 12.3 (2005): 189-213. Krishnan, Nandini. Hitched: The Modern Woman and Arranged Marriage. Random House India, 2013. Print. Niaz, Unaiza. “Women’s Mental Health in Pakistan.” World Psychiatry 3.1 (2004): 60-62. Yalom, Marilyn, and Laura Carstensen, editors. Inside the American Couple: New Thinking, New Challenges. Berkeley:  University of California Press, 2002. Web. http://ark.cdlib.org/ark:/13030/kt9z09q84w/ Read More