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Peer Reflection Response: #3 - Essay Example

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First of all, the sentence is too long. A thesis needs to be as simple as possible because it sets up the rest of the essay. If a reader does not get the…
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Peer Reflection Response: #3

Download file to see previous pages... The supporting facts in this essay do back up the thesis because the author uses a direct quote from the song’s lyrics. More than this, the author expands on it by explaining in detail what some of the lyrics mean and how this relates back to the thesis.
Even though this is a popular music video, there may be some people reading this paper who have never seen it before. Because of this, the author could have spent more time in the introduction explaining who the artists are and how the song relates to their lives.
The author does not use any counter argument, but this could be because there are very few counter arguments out there. Most people would agree that Eminem is a violent person, so it makes sense that he would rap a song that spoke of violent actions. Additionally, Rihanna has suffered from domestic violence before, so she understands the consequences of violence.
The style used by this author is one that is easily understandable by most people. From reading the paper, it is easy to tell that the author’s native language is not English; but this does not detract from the way that they wrote the paper because they have largely followed a standard way of writing.
From reading the introduction of the paper, it is very easy to see that the tone of the author is one of authority; they could perhaps not offer their views so strongly and instead let the reader come to the conclusion themselves. The first sentence is a colloquial saying; this is done to soften the audience up.
The grammar in this paper could have been improved because there are quite a few spelling and grammatical errors. I think that the author knows what they want to say but they don’t quite have the English ability to do it. Perhaps they should consider getting their paper checked over by someone whose native language is English. If these mistakes are fixed up, then the paper would be a very good ...Download file to see next pagesRead More
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