A Refutation of Elizabeth Bernsteins How Facebook Ruins Friendships - Essay Example

Facebook lacks the essence of communicating through body language and voice. Third, Facebook users seem to be sharing what is supposed to be personal stuff thus adding to the irritation.

Fourth, Facebook users are narcissistic bores who feel the urgent need to frequently update their friends of the silliest things other people would not even care about knowing. Fifth, Facebook users who have shifting personalities cause extreme discomfort to others who know only one of their identities. Sixth, endless postings about one’s successes tend to bring about jealousy among one’s Facebook friends. Lastly, Facebook becomes a tool for otherwise “nice” people to conveniently express their violence and aggression against those whom they have difficulty confronting.

Although Bernstein’s arguments above may lend themselves to a certain degree of truth, I still disagree. First, the irritation that some Facebook users experience is only a matter of personal opinion. Not everyone would feel the same way with constant, repetitive messages like those saying “I love you” so it is almost always a case-to-case basis. Second, although Facebook lacks one actual face of the other person who communicates, it is certainly faster and more easily accessible compared to face-to-face communication.

Third, although we know that some things should remain private, we do not have any right to impose on anyone what he must keep to himself. Besides, one’s privacy is no one else’s business. If I would want to blabber endlessly about my break-ups, for example, then no one has any right to stop me from doing that. Fourth, probably what Facebook users who are accused of incessant narcissism do is simply express themselves in a no-holds-barred manner. Catharsis or this outpouring of emotions may help them and may even serve as a good substitute for violence.

Moreover, the seemingly useless updates and postings may only reflect a need to express childlike affection which Facebook can immediately fulfill. Fifth, the inconsistencies in the personalities of people when using Facebook may only simply be the expression of the truth in them at the moment. A masculine-type dude must remain so in the heavy-metal band but he can be anyone else on Facebook. That is his choice and his freedom and no one has any right to demand consistency from anyone.

Sixth, the jealousy that some Facebook users feel over others’ updates is simply a matter of personal perspective. Not everyone would feel jealous. Besides, whether online or offline, jealousy exists and will always exist. Lastly, although aggression in any way is not that positive, I believe expressing this aggression on Facebook is always much better than a face-to-face argumentation or a violent physical fight. Bernstein’s claim that Facebook ruins friendships may be true in some way.

Nevertheless, I disagree with her on many points. Much of her argument is simply a matter of personal perspective and does not necessarily represent everyone’s sentiments. Furthermore, the author seems to have a personal bias towards those who use Facebook to express their inconsistencies, aggression, pain, and simple joys, which are the very things that all of us humans possess and feel the need to express. My refutation of Bernstein’s arguments is simply an exposition of their weakness of hers.

I strongly believe that there is nothing wrong with Facebook. If indeed there is something that ruins friendships, then it must be people themselves and not a social networking site.