Friendship: Definitions and Synonyms - Essay Example

Most friends do not make such definite one-off vows or commitments, but this does not necessarily affect the strength of their friendship. So, on what basis do friendships develop? It could be shared experiences – so, two mothers meet at an antenatal clinic. Both are pregnant, both have a toddler running around and craving attention. They look at each other and smile and a conversation begins. Next week there they are again and so it goes on. It could be a shared interest or hobby. A group is formed to create a community garden.

They discuss things together, make plans, and work together. Then someone suggests a meal or invites everyone to their home for a Christmas drink. The conversation turns to non-gardening subjects and again friendships have already begun to become more established. It can be an alliance in shared difficulties. Two little boys fight in the playground. They are taken to the head teacher’s office where both are disciplined. One finds himself defending the other: ‘It wasn’t his fault.’ Once outside the office, grins are exchanged and two former enemies become allies against authority.

It can be based upon a need to rely on each other as in two comrades fighting alongside each other, and depending upon teamwork for their survival. Some friendships are based on less-than-perfect motives. I think of two little girls being put next to each other in class. One has a pencil case full of sparkly pens, comical erasers, and even a packet of sweets. The girl next to her suddenly decides to become friends. A poor reason to start a friendship, perhaps, but soon they do become bosom friends.

Some friendships are more or less instant, yet continue throughout life, as described by Ellis (n.d.): When we first talked to each other I knew we would always be friends. Our friendship has kept on growing and I'll be here for you to the end.Others are much more short-lived. Holiday romances can be quite intense but rarely survive the journey home. According to Kelly (n.d.), who is writing from a Christian point of view, true friendship can be identified by three aspects - it is morally helpful to both parties; there is a genuine basis of the agreement between the parties and, third, their mutual love is characterized by a spirit of self-sacrifice.

He was speaking specifically about relationships between people of opposite sexes, but the principles hold for other types of friendships. Many young people become gang members, for instance. That is fine if it means that they support each other and stick up for their friends in adversity. It can be negative though if it leads a weaker character to do wrong things he wouldn’t otherwise have done. Holmes (2011) discusses a genetic basis for friendship. A study of several thousand participants looked at six genes that are considered to be associated with forming friendships.

It was discovered that friends shared certain genes at much higher frequencies than chance would allow. The Stanford Dictionary of Philosophy (2009) defines friendship as “a distinctively personal relationship that is grounded in a concern on the part of each friend for the welfare of the other, for the other's sake, and that involves some degree of intimacy.” This source goes on to describe friendship as being based upon mutual care, intimacy, and sharing of activity. It also describes how friendship gives a person social and individual value, so reinforcing their self-esteem.

There are, however, those who would argue that friendship does not imply any partiality, that is to say, that friends are not obliged to give each other preferential treatment (Bernstein, 2007). This statement would be difficult to justify in practice. If someone has something good to share, they are more likely to do this with someone close, simply because they cannot share it with the whole world. I think of something as simple as having excess garden crops – they go over the fence to a good neighbor.

A child has some sweets. There won’t be enough to go right around the school, but he might well offer some to his friends. We all need friends. The commonest cause of unhappiness in society could well be isolation caused by such things as poverty, unemployment, or a physical or mental disability that prevents someone from mixing in society. Modern internet facilities offer virtual friends, and for many people, these can offer social interactions, and even support, but this is not the same as having a friend you can communicate with face to face, someone you can touch, and even hugs if wanted.