Male-Female Communication at Home - Essay Example

Importance of Life “I want a wife” is a story by Brady, which explains the role of a wife; she is expressed as a family actor who should not pursue economic independence and one who should offer a supportive role to the children and the husband. The story entitled, “sex, lies and conversation; why is it so hard for men and women to talk to each other” is an account explaining the different communication characteristics of men and women. The differences often cause problems in relationships. The account explains that men are likely to talk a lot in public, but lack anything to say at home, which makes the woman the talkative one. This paper will present personal thoughts about the two essays, establishing connections and oppositions, in the area of male-female communication at home. Inferences from the two stories “I want a wife” explains that wives take a very passive role at home. They offer support services to men after they leave home for work or education. The role of a wife when the husband is not at home will entail taking care of the children, supporting the dependants of the man, finance the man where necessary, as well as doing the daily chores. She is portrayed as one who should sacrifice for the man, by losing days of work, losing pay due to absenteeism as well as leaving her job after the husband gets employed. She is portrayed as the person to take care of the physical needs of the husband as well as those of the children while offering social support to the family (Tannen). A wife is presented as the one to offer support for the social life of the man, children – who she will babysit – as well as the guests of the home, who is required to serve. She is presented as the one to take care of the sexual needs of the man, whenever he feels the need, but she is presented as one that will not present her sexual needs. After all the devotion, she is supposed to accept her replacement, and at the same time absorb the burden of taking care of children after divorce (Brady). The story, “sex, lies and conversation; why is it so hard for men and women to talk to each other”...presents the woman as the talker of the family, but one who will not express herself in the pubic (Tannen). The case explains the ideal American family, where the man talks in public but not at home. The family outlook is supported by scientific findings that many marriage breakups – according to women – are caused by the lack of communication (Brady; Tannen). Women feel that men do not listen or pay attention to them, which could be explained on the basis of the different communication cultures of men and women. Women – since their background as girls – relate in an expressive manner, while men relate in an authoritative, non-sentimental manner, which makes women feel like the men do not listen or communicate to them. Women make one another feel better, by demonstrating their shared problems, while men downplay the extent of the other’s problems, and will often not pay a lot of attention to the physical expressions of one another, like women. Through a research study on school children, it was demonstrated that women are expressive to one another – and the expressive aspect is what they expect from husbands – who are naturally passive in their communication and interactions. The problem rises from the need of intimacy among women, and the detachment of men from their feelings. The story ends in the call for an understanding of the cross-cultural nature of men and women, which will enhance their communication as well as the understanding of one another (Brady; Tannen). Discussion of the connections and the oppositions between the two stories “I want a wife” presents the wife as a highly passive member of the family, who will not question the instructions of the husband as well as her roles as a wife. “My wife must lose time at work and not lose the job” (Brady). The story “sex lies and conversation” is the opposite, as it portrays the wife as “the talker in … family talker…she is the one that keeps the conversation going” (Tannen), and one who will have issues to discuss at home. However, similar to “I want a wife”, “sex lies and conversation” presents the wife as a person of no influence in the outside world, as the men are projected as talkers outside the home; the wife is only a mark of social support for the man – who is expected to talk in public (Brady; Tannen). “I want a wife” presents the wife as the family member who should offer social support and understanding to the man, including one who “will listen to me when I feel the need to explain a rather difficult point (Brady). This draws a similarity with the nature of the woman in the story “sex lies and conversation”. For instance, the man – from the two stories – seems very distant from the emotions of the woman, not regarding their emotional needs. For example from “I want a wife” the wife is supposed to offer the man emotional support, as well as expressive understanding, where it is needed (Brady; Tannen). In “sex lies and conversation” the woman is presented like the one who attempts to express her emotions, while the man seems not to recognize the fact that women have emotional feelings to be satisfied. For example, from the survey studies, women pointed out the “lack of communication as the reason for their divorce” (Tannen). “I want a wife” presents the wife as a robot-like person, who should obey every instruction of the man; she is presented as one who should not question any of her duties, including taking care of all the aspects of the life of the man and the children (Brady; Tannen). An example is the account that she should be ready to “quit working and remain at home, so that …she can more fully…take care of a wife’s duties (Brady). The views of “sex lies and conversation” are different, as it presents the woman as a family member that pursues her needs, including those of establishing rapport and marital communication. The two accounts present the woman in a different manner, which is likely to promote the establishment of a new marital communication outlook, which can promote understanding between men and women. The account, “I want a wife” presents her as a person that does not pursue any change, and therefore she continues with the life of subordination and a lack of understanding between men and women (Brady; Tannen). “Sex lies and conversation” goes ahead to propose the differences between the interactive outlook of men and women, as well as the communication patterns of men and women. This outlook is not included in “I want a wife” as the role, the nature and the needs of the wife are fully disregarded – maybe as a way of maintaining the status quo. Therefore, the, “sex lies and conversation” account is more explanative, as it develops explanations about the differences in families, as well as the increasing cases of divorce (Brady; Tannen). One case explained in the story, pointed the case of a man saying to the wife…“you like me to look at you when we talk, so I’ll try to do it (Tannen).” The case shows some level of understanding between the man and the woman. Conclusion I want a wife is a literal account by Brady, which explains the passive role of the wife at home. “Sex, lies and conversation,” authored by Tannen explains the fundamental differences between men and women, which makes them better communicators at different spheres of life: home and in public. The two stories show differences, including that one presents the wife as very passive, and a non-questioning family member, while “sex, lies and conversation” presents the wife as more talkative at home. The two stories views the wife as the one to offer social support for the man as well as the family, but one whose emotional and expressive needs are never addressed. “I want a wife” presents the wife as a robot-like family member, while “sex, lies and conversation,” presents the wife as a person that can fight for her social and emotional needs. “Sex, lies and conversation,” takes a different angle from that of “I want a wife,” as it proposes solutions to the communication and the interactional difficulties between men and women, but “I want a wife” seems to promote the status quo. Works Cited Brady, Judy. “I Want a Wife.” Columbia.Edu. 1993. Web. 12 April 2013. . Tannen, Deborah. “Sex, Lies and Conversation; Why Is It So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other?” Georgetown.Edu. 1990. Web. 12 April 2013. . Read More