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Male- Female Relationships and Gender - Essay Example

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The paper "Male- Female Relationships and Gender " presents that today we live in an age where the gender differences are minimized and male-female relationship is viewed from a point of view that doesn’t rate one gender superior or of more significance…
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Male- Female Relationships and Gender
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Male- Female Relationships & Gender Roles in 20th Century American Society with Special Reference to Anzia Yezierska’s novel Bread Givers Today we live in an age where the gender differences are minimized and male-female relationship is viewed from a point of view that doesn’t rate one gender superior or of more significance. The spread of feminism and powerful writings of women writers have contributed to the emergence of a new identify for women. Thus the women who were once considered as the weaker sex became able to carve out success stories in all areas where once men dominated and in almost all fields their achievements are commendable. However, the powerful influence of patriarchal values is dominant in many societies even today. The 20th century American society was very much influenced by the patriarchal western culture; but towards the end of the century rapid changes occurred in the American society. The role of women and the importance of family life had to be redefined as there was greater number of divorces: divorce was common in half of the homes and many families included single parents, step-parents, step siblings, adopted children and even mixed parents. Family as an institution was a great failure and very often the concept of man as the ‘bread giver’ of the family was shattered as women had to earn themselves to support the family and children. Many writers have pictured this conflict in the American society and Anzia Yezierska’s novel ‘Bread givers’ is a genuine attempt in this regard. The writer narrates the story of her protagonist, Sara Smolinsky, who fights against the dominant male culture and beliefs of her father and finally finds her own place in the highly competitive New America. The novel clearly shows how her father Reb Smolinsky leads an easy going life and how he imposes his domination over his wife and daughters. The novel is set in the background of a massive immigration to America by people from all over the world for better living standards, believing that America is the most suitable nation to establish themselves financially and culturally, and to realize their inner urge for independence and self fulfillment. Sara, the protagonist of the novel, is the youngest daughter of an orthodox Jewish rabbi who cherishes a rigid conception of Jewish womanhood. Her family had immigrated to America from a village in Poland and according to her father’s Jewish tradition, the only role a Jewish woman had in her life was to take care of the family, and to make life easier for her husband or father. Thus, women were not given the individual freedom to decide a life of their own. This is evident when we find Reb Smolinsky taking arbitrary decisions on the family lives of his other daughters. Sara, on the other hand, is motivated by her intense desire to acquire economic independence through education and hard work. The father who was stuck in the tradition of the old world can never tolerate his youngest daughter’s longing for independence. But unlike her submissive sisters and mother, Sara shows the courage to challenge the decision of her father and at the end of the novel she is proved to be in the right track and it is appropriately stated that in the novel “Sara personifies the clash between the demands of tradition and the beckoning opportunities of a new land America.” (Sara’s Journey to Fulfillment, 1995). Various issues connected with gender roles – the differences between man and woman, between the old patriarchal world and the new world values, between rich and poor and the questions of dependency and independency – are all dealt with in the novel. The basic gender difference between men and women occur from the traditional role of assuming man to be the breadwinner of the family while the women’s role is limited to the four walls of her kitchen and upbringing of the children. But nearly all the male characters in the novel fail to perform their role as ‘bread givers’ and their role is taken up by women characters. But this new role is not appreciated by the male dominated power structure: “In male dominated power structure, a woman who adopts a man’s social or sexual role may be perceived as demanding the power normally given to man. On the other hand, a man who adopts a woman’s social or sexual role is perceived as voluntarily and foolishly giving up the power associated with man’s role.” (Women and War 1941 -1975, 2005). Her father spends his days studying the Torah while he doesn’t care for the poverty or the needs of the family: his daughters and wife have to take up the family responsibility and burdens. Thus he undermines the women’s basic need to lead a happy life. The disparity between man and woman is stated by Anzia Yezierska when she says “the prayers of his daughters didn’t count because God didn’t listen to women… women could get in to heaven because they were wives and daughters of men.” (Yezierska, p.9). Later Sara comes to the realization that she doesn’t have to succumb to her father as a Jewish girl as she lives in another country where the gender roles are different: “In America, a woman doesn’t need men to boss them” (Yezierska, p.137). The American concept of living and hope for better opportunities for woman are best suggested by Bessie’s suitor when he expresses the differences between old world values and those of the new world to Reb Smolinsky: ‘In America everybody got to earn a living first.” (P.48). The term bread giver is used by Marsha in the novel when she refers to her own husband, who doesn’t earn money like a typical American man. It is estimated that, each year over 1 million American children suffer the divorce of their parents and it has posed a great threat to the American society: “The divorce of parents, even if it is amicable, tears apart the fundamental unit of the American society. Today, according to the Federal Reserve Boards 1995 Survey of Consumer Finance, only 42 percent of children aged 14 to 18 live in a "first marriage" family--an intact two-parent married family.” (Patrick F. Fagan & Robert E Rector. 2000). In tandem to the concept of the brittleness of family bonds, after her mother’s death, Sara is shocked to find her father insisting on marrying another woman so soon after her mother’s death. However, marriage, divorce and re-marriage caused no threat to the gender roles played by both male and females. The common causes for this increased rate of divorces can stem from gender domination, poor communication, financial problems, lack of commitment and the absence of fidelity. The American way of life is more individual centered and people want only what is good for themselves, even if it is not in the best interest someone else. This selfish and one sided intolerant attitude have caused breakdowns in the familial ties in the American society. Sex plays a major role in male female relationship of the 20th century American society. Most of the family relationships were centered on sex and a major part of the divorce among the American youth was as a result of infidelity, sexual dissatisfaction or unwillingness to bear a child. More people tend to prefer cohabitation to legal marriages, as it requires only a lesser degree of commitment. In Bread Giver, we do not find many such instances of divorces but we see the interplay of the underlying causes of divorces in the lives of the entire married females in the novel, even though they manage to cope up with the situation. We find how Masha’s and Fania’s love affairs are not supported by their arbitrary father and how their married life with the husbands chosen by their father turns out to be unhappy and unsatisfactory. In fact, the submissive role played by women has acted as a preserver of married life. The best example is the life of Sara’s mother. She tolerates all the outrages, rudeness and lack of concern and support from her husband and plays her stereotyped role as a suppressed Jewish woman, unable to protest and not keen to react. In one instance, she remarks “And woe to us who got to live in a Torah-made world that’s only for men” (Yezierska, P.99), but she is unable to change her defined role and thinks that supporting the family and upbringing the children are her primary concerns. This is quite in contrast to the American social life where unhappy marriages very often result in divorces and the lives of the children of divorced parents become one of poverty, misery and mental conflict. Thus she becomes a symbol of female sadness and helplessness, “an old burn out with a dead soul, grey unhealthy face, and lifeless eyes that projected nothing but sadness and helplessness. The tragedy of her life was that there was nothing she could do about it.” (Yezierska, 2004). These feelings of submissiveness and inaction of the mother are transmitted to all her daughters except Sara. Even though America has seen vast changes in women’s right in the last century there still exist disparities and inequalities in the gender roles played by the both males and females. Though there are more number of women than men in higher education, who pursue various careers after their studies, the work place is still largely male dominated. It is also seen that when the ratio of women in a field increases, the average paycheck decreases. The best example is that in the past, the position of office of secretaries were mostly filled by men and when women undertook the task, there had been a rapid decline in the salary. Thus it is obvious that when it comes to the matter of gender superiority or power, men still command an upper hand. Another major difference in the gender roles played by both men and women is the fact that it is the female who has to sacrifice her career goals in family life to raise the children and to look after the affairs of the family, while men usually continue their career lives as usual and enhance their professional achievement. It is because of this ‘fixed’ gender roles that ambitious women like the protagonist of the novel sacrifices their own love and strive hard to achieve their goals before they limit themselves to the confines of married life. Even children, from the time they are born, are forced to abide by this gender role within the family and outside; the influence of mass media in spreading notions of gender roles also is significant in this regard. Thus modern gender roles are very rigid and many feel that they must conform to one specific gender role, which for the female is at times degrading. Gender is a social construct and it is instilled into the minds of children in their childhood itself. The gender roles constructed on men are associated with masculinity, bravery, strength and independence whereas for woman it is femininity, submissiveness and weakness. It is because of the scars of this social construct that women are viewed as the weaker sex. Research shows that many men want to change this gender role attributed to them and the prevalent social environment prevents them to do so: “They may be uncomfortable with rigid gender norms, but unable to challenge them on their own, without the support of peers and an exclusive social environment.” (Recenterpreting Masculinity. Partnering with Boys and Men. 2005). Sara is attracted to Max Goldstein because he doesn’t stick himself to the traditional gender roles which dominate the American way of life especially male-female relationship. Respect for the other gender and a sense of equality between genders should be developed in the family itself. Male members in the family should be taught to respect their mothers and sisters first so that they can always cherish a respect for the other gender. Provisions should be ensured to grant equal opportunities for both the genders. Social expectation of the society from a male child should be conducive to a more balanced view of the gender roles played by men and women in the American society. Men should take the initiative in bringing about gender equality as men exercise more power and authority. Conclusion: It is clear that the 20th century American society was highly dominated by the western patriarchal values. Equality between man and woman is possible only when the traditional construct of gender roles are broken. Women have to come out of their shackles to face the realities in the real world rather than playing the submissive role that is attributed to their gender. For this, an intense longing which is supplemented with constant hard work is essential. The best example is the life of Sara Smolinsky in the novel; she recognizes that acquiring economic stability is the first step a woman has to take to reinforce her capability to look after herself. Education, she rightly perceives, is the means to reach this goal. At the end of the novel, the reader finds Sara achieving success through hard work and unwavering determination. We find her going to the department store to buy herself a fine suit for her first day as a teacher. To break anything that is the product of a social construct, conscious efforts are needed. Today, women have come forward and shown that they are in no way inferior to men. Even in battle field and combating, the roles played by women are commendable though history (which is also dominated by men) has provided them only a subordinate role: “Women have often through out history played a subordinate role in society, but war has been instrumental in giving them a far more prominent status both as substitute for man’s labor and more recently in combatant roles.” (Women and War1941 -1975. 2005). Thus, there is no question of more efficiency or better physical strength when comparing the genders. The change has to begin in the attitude: equality of opportunity and treatment for both male and female should be the objective of such goals and this needs to be supported well by the international society and the mass media. Works Cited Sara Smolinsky’s Journey to Fulfillment. Gradesaver. 1 Jan. 1995. 1 June. 2007 . Women and War1941 -1975. American Studies Today Online. Liverpool Community College& Liverpool John Moores University. 19 Apr. 2005. 1 June. 2007 . Fagan, Patrick F., & Rector, Robert. E. The Effects of Divorce on America. 5 June. 2000. The Heritage Foundation, 2007. 1 June. 2007 . Yezierska, Anzia. Symbols and characters of Bread givers. 2004. Wow Essays). 1 June. 2007 . Reinterpreting Masculinity. Partnering with Boys and Men. (Chapter 6). UNFPA. State of World Population 2005. 1 June. 2007 . Read More
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