Personal Development for Smart People - Essay Example

? Stress is anything that can impact on a person's physical and mental well-being. It is an accepted fact in modern life that we are ed to stress of all sorts. The experts are of the opinion it is quite hard to give an exact definition of stress, as they themselves have some different opinions on what constitutes stress, whether it is an effect, the cause, or anything that is in between or even a combination of both cause and effect. It is a highly subjective feeling, in the sense that what is stressful for one person may not be stressful for another. It is a feeling that is at times quite hard to define, as it can be tangible and also intangible, resulting into the sort of feeling unease about something but the person concerned cannot exactly pinpoint what is causing him or her stress. It could be angst, anxiety or anguish; it could be melancholia or ennui, a feeling of boredom or extreme lack of interest in anything. Most people associate the word or feelings of stress with anything that is negative, it connotes something bad. But a fact is that stress can be either positive or negative; when it is positive, it is called as eustress. This should be what people strive for, to have eustress, such as feelings of hope, vitality, vigor and a zest for life, instead of being always negative. Eustress literally means “good stress” and it is a cognitive response to stress that is desirable and healthy. It leads to feelings of satisfaction or a sense of well-being, which enhances the feelings of fulfillment and being in control. However, for purposes of this discussion on stress, I am a bit more inclined to delve on the topic in the negative side of stress. One type of stress that has a very bad effect on both the physical and mental well-being of a person is worry. It has a severe debilitating effect on a person, some to such an extent that it can induce paralysis in its very serious manifestations. A person who worries too much ends up accomplishing nothing but only ends up worsening his or her own situation. I always worry a lot about many things, sometimes to the point of being paranoid, hallucinatory or plainly idiotic. Worrying is a basic emotion; it can help a person to some extent because it keeps a person alert, it is instinctive in the “fight or flight” response. Worry becomes destructive only when it is carried to extremes, because by then, that person worries about something that is relatively harmless, by ascribing something bad might happen, or worry about an event or occurrence that has a very little chance of ever happening. Worry is a very diffused feeling of anxiety, and as such, it is hard to find a solution for it and a remedy that prevents it from recurring. An example of this kind of worry is a hypochondriac, a person who worries about his health, on almost anything and everything, from the food he eats to the lack of exercise, the air he breathes if it contains germs or not, in the place he stays, whether it is clean of bedbugs, roaches, or fleas. It is an exaggerated sense of worrying that is not commensurate with the facts, or with the state of reality that is obtaining at present. It is a negative response to a perceived threat or impending event, instead of seeing it positively as a challenge, which is positive, the very essence of the eustress discussed a bit earlier. I worry a lot about money, my finances, my state of health, about the future, almost on anything that it is causing havoc on my health, causing me endless sleepless nights at times because worry keeps me awake and prevents me from relaxing my mind, and hence also my body functions that are supposedly needed to induce me to sleep. I know that worrying is not very productive, and it is even counter-productive, in the sense it prevents me from finding solutions to my problems and hence, resolve and put to rest my endless worries. But it seems I cannot do something to prevent myself from worrying; I am helpless against it. It is imperative that I find ways to lessen worrying too much as it is causing me stress than what is otherwise warranted under normal conditions. I realize now that any kind of stress management is essential on my part, if only to be able to lead a normal life. It is bad stress (distress) that caused all my cognitive, emotional, physical and behavioral symptoms; a solution must be found for me to have a fuller, longer and more enjoyable life. Stress is bad, it causes hypertension and reduces the body's immunity against most ailments. My most memorable mentor was my elementary teacher in Grade Six. He was the one who encouraged me to study seriously, not only for the good grades that I will get, but in many ways, also as a preparation for the life challenges ahead. He was a very perceptive kind of person, who instinctively knows what a student wants or needs to know, how to search for some crucial information in the school library, how to get along with other pupils, and almost in general acted like a second father to all members of our class. Being a teacher for sometime enabled him to spot a possible exceptional student, and that was what he did with me. He was knowledgeable in a lot of things, his stock knowledge coupled with an incredible memory was simply remarkable, and he could converse and deal with all types of people, from his own peers to the principal to the young pupils like us and to the parents who occasionally see him. He had an intuitive way of interacting with people, even the janitor liked him a lot. My former teacher was a self-confident person, and his confident smile is quite very infectious too. People respond to him unlike any other person, and he has his way with some people, to make them do his bidding without even him asking. It is his self-confidence that is a key factor in his ability to lead and impress upon others his own ideas and opinions. This is the very essence of a mentor, a person who could influence people without even trying hard. It was this confidence that made me look up to him, for guidance and for anything I had needed. He was kind, patient and understanding, unlike my other elementary grade teachers. He instilled confidence in all of us, young kids trying to make sense of this world. A key to keeping us attentive and alert was his frequent jokes which made us laugh till we hurt, but one thing I remember was he encouraged us to pursue our dreams, whatever these may be. He was never one to let down or disappoint anyone, no matter how humble we were compared to his prodigious accomplishments even at his relatively young age. He would cite himself as an example; to be what we want: an engineer, an entrepreneur, maybe a president. My mentor sort of put me in the right direction and that has made all the difference. If it was not for him, I would have been somebody else, for sure, but no idea of being what. I had led a direction-less life before, just trying to get along by and by, with nothing purposeful. There is immense power in the gentle art of making subtle suggestions, and looking back now, I think it was what he did for all of us in his class. He made us all feel confident, wonderful and entirely capable of what we had in mind for our future plans. For a young impressionable mind like me, it was a tremendous boost to be given a seal of approval instead of disdain and contempt, as what some teachers are likely to do to their young wards. Sometimes, all it takes is just a little push; to start kicking the can down the road and achieve something worthwhile. It may take a while to really amount to something, but each journey begins with a single step. Besides patience, kindness and understanding, the one essential quality of my mentor had been his ability to spot pupils with potentials and help develop these kids into something, so that they will amount to being someone someday. It was his unique ability to mold young minds, encouraged them and nurture them so they will excel among their peers and become a model in themselves for the others to follow and emulate. It is not an easy task to do so, but he did it in an outstanding way such that all my former classmates regarded him as one of the best teachers we ever had, and opined other teachers should have been like him also. I wholeheartedly admit that he had been a great influence on my life ever since. What he saw in me was great potential, and he was the one who urged and encouraged me to pursue my dreams. At the time, I did not even realize what I was capable of and like a rough diamond had polished me into some sort of a gem (humility aside) who rose to accomplish a lot of the things I had always wondered and dreamed about of achieving someday. His qualities reflect a lot on me too, a mentor and a protege who joined hands to accomplish and amount to being someone someday; a gentle push and lots of encouragement went a long way indeed. I can list a few successes I had this semester, some eventful, some are relatively quite minor but nevertheless can still be considered as a victory of sorts. Foremost is I am doing a bit better than expected in my studies, having obtained good grades and having kept pace with the rest of my class in terms of expectations. I also made quite a number of new friends who are very supportive and enthusiastic about our studies, which in a way helped to be a mutually beneficial thing, since each of us kind of benefits from the encouragement one gets from the rest of the class. This is especially useful when one feels a bit down on some days, sort of an off day in emotional terms, which is unavoidable as we all have feelings of being depressed at certain times, which is to say it is quite normal and nothing to be alarmed particularly about. I learned quite a few things in my personality development class too. Among these are the different personality traits and the various personality types of a person. This is helpful when one gets to meet people, as it can help me to assess how to deal with them, although not to be judgmental about them or their character since that would be erroneous and not helpful at all when one is overly objective and measure people up, resulting in wrong conclusions on certain people who might otherwise turn out to be good despite first impressions. People can get along fine if they do not judge others readily; to be accepting or tolerant in this regard. What I learned is that the personality of anybody can be developed into something that is better than what it is now. It just takes time, effort and perseverance; for example, to be pleasant to everybody if they are being nasty to you or being sarcastic and reply with kind words, instead of giving back in kind which would start a vicious cycle instead of a virtuous cycle that generates good vibes or what is sometimes called as good karma. Taking this class was one of the best decisions I ever made, as it allowed me to learn a number of skills needed to get ahead in the world. I learned self-confidence, how to deal with people in a manner that is desirable and proper, how to dress for success, and bring about positive changes in me. I hope what I learned in this semester will put me in good stead with the challenges in life. I intend to make a positive impression on people, acquire leadership skills and people-handling skills too; to be an expert in human resource development, and have a good attitude towards life and to its many twists and turns. With this course, I hope to have improved my emotional intelligence and become helpful to others through behavioral insights that I got in a wonderful college course. This is to influence other people and hopefully implement positive changes in my life and in their lives. The whole idea is to have improved the world markedly. It is not an easy task but it is not overly ambitious, I know it can be done if one persists. It is a personal development course like this which will make me realize and attain my dreams. My hope is to be a successful leader in a big organization which will have an impact on the lives of people I shall be in contact with. It could be in the human resources department of a giant multinational firm or in a consultancy company dealing with organizational changes or the introduction of new technologies and paradigms that will increase overall efficiency but assuage the fears of people and employees who naturally may be resistant to change. No man is island, and a personal development course is a big aid in making other people also realize their own potentials through my own initiatives to guide them and let them achieve the hopes and dreams they may silently harbor inside themselves but afraid to verbalize them out. My personal dream is to have attained professional success in my chosen endeavors within the next decade. This is to have a stable and well-paying career, progress through series of increasing responsibilities in the organization, and hopefully, find a lifetime partner too and settle down and raise a family. It is not a grandiose dream but something that is quite humble or down-to-earth, because this is the dream of anybody. A good starting point is self-analysis and from there, set realistic goals by investing in myself (Nutley 27). I am fairly sure I attain a lot of the things I set out to do, as I have enough confidence in my capabilities (Pavlina 205). Works Cited Nutley, Tony. The Little Book of Personality Development. Raleigh, NC, USA: www.lulu.com, 2008. Print. Pavlina, Steve. Personal Development for Smart People: the Conscious Pursuit of Personal Growth. Carlsbad, CA, USA: Hay House Publishing, 2008. Print. Read More