Letter of Advice Paper - Essay Example

Intimacy or interpersonal interactions in relationships such as romantic attachments and marriage are challenging. There are various barriers that hinder effective interpersonal interactions. One of these barriers is the different personalities individuals possess. With diverse personality, comes diverse perception that may lead to discrepancies in relationships as each person views their opinion as the right one. A second approach one can take is in light of the standpoint theory. Standpoint theory argues that individuals see the world differently because of their unique positions in society.

Such positions are subject to factors such as level of education, cultural background and most importantly the sex of an individual, in regard to romantic relations. With each person having a different point of view on matters that affect both parties in the relationship, there is a likelihood that conflict may arise. Wood (2012), on the other hand, sees individualism as a base through which persons can be united. In her book “Interpersonal Communication: Everyday Encounters”, she reports that identifying ones partner as a unique entity is the first step to understanding their intimate self.

However, couples should not reflect on individualism in view of society as standpoint theory emphasizes. Uniqueness should stem from the relationships pattern and rhythm. For instance, one may ask themselves, does this relationship maintain a unique vocabulary with which the parties interact? For instance, one individual may prefer opening up while the other prefers to sort out their issues on their own. The uniqueness of an individual may be a source of severed interpersonal interactions. However, interpersonal communication helps one realize that these differences are the reason why individuals attract each other (the opposites attract rule).

Acknowledging partners uniqueness is just laying a foundation on which other relationship matters will rest in the future. Personal communication competencies need to be put in the limelight at all times during interactions between couples. Communication competence is the ability of the communicator to achieve the intended goal of their message. Regardless of the situation, communication always has a goal. The communicator can either wants to express a feeling or inquire something. For a couple to enjoy fruitful interpersonal communication, the communicator should feel that their goals excel.

The communicating parties, therefore, need to understand the meaning intended by each message in every situation. Effective communication requires that each person is flexible in view of the needs of their partner. Secondly, when holding a conversation it is imperative that appropriateness prevail even in the face of overwhelming emotions such as anger or disappointment (Deetz, 2011). Stanley A. Deetz in his text “Communication Yearbook 16” analysis a psychological approach proposed by Schutz back in the year 1966.

According to Schutz there are three guiding interpersonal needs one can satisfy in order to understand their partner, improve their communication competencies and sustain an intimate relationship. First both parties need to maintain affection in all their interactions. Secondly, the messages should not be aloof, and one sided to facilitate inclusion. Finally, both the messenger and the person