Barriers of Effective Communication in Marriage - Research Paper Example

Letter of advice to a young couple Letter of Advice to a Young Couple Introduction In the contemporary society, there existsplenty of information about interpersonal communication. In any relationship such as marriage or friendship, interpersonal communication is very essential in bettering daily communication and discussions. In order to achieve effective communication, individuals are required to learn certain skills essential in communication. The paper considers advising a newly engaged couple on effective communication using principles of interpersonal to better their relationship. Marriage has been paint with worse implications such as divorce that are mostly attributed to failure on the part of the couple to communicate openly, with an estimate of 60% divorce among married couple in the United State (Gulley & Almonte, 2009). Marriage is a special thing shared between two people that truly love each and are ready to spend the rest of their lives with the person. I write this letter, hoping that you are fully aware of what is awaiting both you. Marriage is meant to last forever and in order for that to happen, you need to commit to each other and dedicate fully as well as be ready to face challenges ahead. My aim of writing the letter is to give you some good advice about communication in your relationship.   Am a student, just finished an interpersonal communication course, that will be my referring point throughout this letter. It is my hope that you take the advice and use it every day in your relationship. Love is sweet and exciting but without effective communication, it is bound to fail (Miller, 2011). For the survival of any relationship, there exist several guides to help facilitate and in the same way, illustrate on what to do and what to avoid in certain situations. Good communication that encourages free and open communication is very important, as couples are able to share information with easy in a friendly manner, in return enabling partners to get along well (Gulley & Almonte, 2009). At any given time, the first rule of good communication in relationship is communication is a two-sided coin that requires both effective talking and excellent listening. According to Taibbi (2012), the author of lasting marriage demonstrates that great communication makes great marriage. Understanding your partner properly as well as yourself, help in daily interactions that build the relationship. Learn the principles of interpersonal communication because it is informative as it guides and offer skills to deal with problems in the relationship. Barriers of Effective Communication During communication especially when solving some situations in the relation, couples tend to clash in their conversation due to misunderstanding, confusion and lack of good communication skills. Each partner seeks attention and an opportunity to be heard but in such as scene, no communication really takes place. Couples, just like any other people argue and mostly occurs because of misunderstanding. Attitude is one of the barriers affecting effective interpersonal communication (Raff, 2014). It is harmful for a partner to approach the other party with a preset attitude when they intent to solve their issues, for after a while it becomes a habit that may be hard to let go. External distraction both from the environment and from the partner interferes with communication because one loses concentration on the problem at hand. Being keen and attentive such as maintaining eye contact during a conversion is vital as it enables to keep non-verbal communication that is essential in understanding. According to Miller, (2011) effective communication requires determination and willingness of both partners in the relation to work toward achieving it. Modern technology has enhanced communication making it easy for people in a relationship to keep in touch and converse using different channel, although it has its own share of obstacles too. Emotional barrier is another hindrance to effective communication as it interferes with the free and open conversation. Emotion issues manifests as fear, mistrust and worse creating suspicion among people that result from poor childhood upbringing. Gender and cultural obstacles affect communication and the society has created perspective that is driving force behind the adverse effects in our interaction. Distinct difference exist in the pattern of speech between a man and women, with female speaking about 22,000 to 25,000 words a day while male speak between 7,000 to 10,000 words (Gulley & Almonte, 2009). The contrast is evident in childhood as a girl child is able to speak earlier than the boy child is. The speech of a man is located in the left side of the brain with no specific area whereas in the female is situated in both hemisphere with specific two locations. It is the reason why a man talks in a linear and logical manner while women being able to talk more freely mixing her logic and emotion. Describe the process by which self-concept is developed and maintained A good relationship requires that the two individuals involved in the union, should have a strong background and personality that is well known. Self- concept has be defined in several manner but in this case, it is termed as a mix of how we see ourselves, what others have told us about ourselves, and what society says we should be (Taibbi, 2012). The idea of self-concept is intense as it goes further in our inner self, bringing back thoughts on what is the individual contribution to relationship and how one will want to be viewed by his/her part. Awareness of the effects of the self-concept, each partner is free and able to communicate fully without being a prisoner. The racial change in most of the traditional ways into adapting current trends and pattern has also brought changes in the self-concept. For instance, people got married for procreation and children assigned duties in the community, according to their gender. The society has continuously advanced due to advancement of technology affecting the personal self-concept. Traditionally, men are supposed to be provider as women bear children and keep the homestead clean, the roles that are highly forgotten as some women are soul breadwinner, leaving the baby-sitting to the man. A survey done in American comparing the gender distribution at work, indicates that a big number of women hold senior positions with a few for men (Rita, 2013). Just as the body has different parts that work together to complete a task, the same approach applies in the relationship. Each person is very important and his/her contribution in the relationship is essential making it healthy. One should not lose his/her individuality in the process of wanting the union to grow, as the relationship will be as good as death. Different spikes from each partner spices up love that binds the couples together, cementing their firm foundation based on open communication, honesty, trust and mutual understanding (Miller, 2011). Every decision made, should not be out of selfishness but rather benefit the two of you. Emotional intelligence and its role in effective interpersonal communication Arguments never offer any solution instead; it results into unnecessary hurt, fight and negative thoughts in the relationship that occurs due to fear, security, care and happiness. Raff (2014), defines emotional intelligence as an understanding of the other person’s feeling, that is logical. Couples, who failure to sort out their issues as well as deal with their emotional problems properly harm their relationship. Each time a problem comes up; the partner takes an offensive or accusatory position that ends in not resolving their troubles. Being emotional intellect is necessary in handling arguments in the relationship, as the couples are linked emotionally and a partner will seek to understand the other’s view on the situation at hand (Gulley & Almonte. (2009). Being able to practice self-control is vital especially in intense arguments where a single negative statement is enough to blow things out of proportion. The partner is able to control his personal emotions as well as the partners. Being able to overcome such obstacles: helps in addressing future mega conflicts in an efficient manner. Application of the emotional intelligence has diverse benefits to the relationship. For example, one aim of emotional intelligence is it instrumental in self-awareness. It increases ability of a partner to identify his or her emotions, impact of the feeling and that of the partner. One is able to know and acknowledge his or her strengthen and weakness that will in turn assist in adoption and accommodation of others (Taibbi, 2012). Emotional intelligent is the driving force behind trust and self-confidence that are core in a relation. On the other hand, small words are able to work miracles such as “thank you”, “sorry” and general appreciating your partner and assuming him/her your support facilitate good communication. Appropriate levels of self-disclosure in relationship Self-disclosure is a situation where an individual decides voluntarily to share his or her private information to another party who had no such information (Miller, 2011). In a relationship, disclosure is important when there is mutual trust between the two individual, often takes time. By opening up to your partner, the bond grows strong as it clears obstacles. Gulley & Almonte. (2009), explains that disclosure increases the level of intimacy in a relation. The trust that comes with sharing the critical information helps couples to resolve their problems and ties them together, withstanding huge conflicts. In addition, a self-disclosure of one partner motivates the other at the same time influences him or her to justify actions, a situation referred as “dyadic effect” (Raff, 2012). Dyadic effects happen mostly in a couple situations, where one shares his or her critical information compelling the other to do. It is a very nice way for couples to face their past events and together agree to forge ahead. Besides, it helps in understanding one’s behavior and free from invisible burden such as “no secrets’. Strategies in managing interpersonal conflicts Conflicts exist and will always be the most important thing is how to timely, resolve your relationship problems. One can avoid getting into trouble by simply being a good listener, as listening is one of the easy elements of excellent communication. It is quite difficult of comprehend, respond and issue meaningful feedback, if you are not a listener (Taibbi, 2012). To be a good listener, as a partner you are required to be interested in what your girlfriend is doing, remain focus on the topic under discussion. In order to enhance good listening, first, you must be an excellent listener too and the following components are essential: Motivate yourself to listen Hear the message clearly Pay attention to the message conveyed Interpret the message correctly and accurately without losing meaning Evaluate the message Respond appropriately as per the message Excellent listening is good for any relationship and in our daily activities; we take part in the different forms of listening. Comprehensive listening, also referred to as listening for fact and information that we may be required later to remember is complex, evaluative listening that is mostly used sales and negotiation, empathic listening that requires you to feel with the another person’s situation and lasting appreciative listening that allow you to get involved in the pleasure and happiness (Raff, 2014). Lastly, effective communication in any kind of a relationship takes time, practice and skills in order to achieve proper dialogue. In a union leading into a marriage several guidelines can be use to effect conversation that is instrumental in bettering a relation as they seek to advance their love into the next level. Important skills to facilitate the growth of a relation includes: identifying barriers to effective interpersonal interaction, develop strategies to achieve active, critical and empathic listening as well as appropriate level of self-disclosure in the union as partners are able to understand and access the secretive part of the other party. Other essential skills include, learning on how to understand emotions and hindered aspects of communication that may affect interpersonal relationship. I am convinced that skills will be of help in smooth running of your relationship. It is my desire that the advice will be of importance in your relationship and future marriage. Yours sincerely, Name: References Miller, Katharine. (2011). The curable romantic: advice for the romance-impaired. New York: Katharine Miller Publisher. Gulley, Ellen & Richard, Almonte. (2009). Essentials of business communication. New Jersey: Cengage Learning. Taibbi, Robert. (2012). Doing couple therapy: craft and creativity in work with intimate partners. Guilford family therapy series. Canada. Guilford Press. Raff, Sarah. (2014). Jane austens erotic advice. New York: Oxford University Press. Read More